Asking for money instead of gifts?

krustylouise

bazzyb wrote: »

I dread to think what the other 25 points were! An invite really just needs date, time, place and RSVP info. There should be no mention of gifts and I imagine the rest of the information on the 'A to Z' was completely unnecessary.

Weddings from start to finish are entirely individual for couples, parents and guests. What YOU think SHOULD or SHOULD NOT happen, it is entirely up to the individual. Just because you don't agree with everybodys views doesn't give you the right to brand them as "unnecessary".

Tashatutuw

krustylouise wrote: »

Weddings from start to finish are entirely individual for couples, parents and guests. What YOU think SHOULD or SHOULD NOT happen, it is entirely up to the individual. Just because you don't agree with everybodys views doesn't give you the right to brand them as "unnecessary".

The problem with many posts like these is that OP ends up regretting mentioning anything at all as those who have opposing beliefs actually just become offensive. Whatever ANY of us chose to do is our own right and the horrors out there like bazzyb can just bug off. I am sure the A - Z was a wonderful idea and included a lot of useful information - you know, such as DIRECTIONS, MEAL CHOICES, RSVP INFORMATION etc...

There is no point in arguing with people like this krustylouise they just make you want to bang your head off the wall by the end. If you have nothing nice, or useful to say - DON'T BOTHER!

Jobseeeker

Tashatutuw wrote: »

There is no point in arguing with people like this krustylouise they just make you want to bang your head off the wall by the end. If you have nothing nice, or useful to say - DON'T BOTHER!

To be fair, Krusty Louise called someone "utterly awful" for daring to disagree with her. Obviously its a controversial subject but there's enough opinions to end it now and the OP can make a decision.

Parsimonia

OP, if you don't need anything because you've already been living together for a while, couldn't you just tell your guests that there is no need for them to give you anything (gift, money etc) as you don't need it. Tell them their company at the wedding is all the gift you need from them!

What a refreshing approach that would be!

As for asking for money because the wedding is costing more than you budgeted - sorry, but I think it's in really poor taste to ask your friends and family to subsidise your wedding. Why on earth should they?!?!

Cut back on your plans if you have to, until the costs fits within an envelope that you can afford.

krustylouise

Jobseeeker wrote: »

To be fair, Krusty Louise called someone "utterly awful" for daring to disagree with her. Obviously its a controversial subject but there's enough opinions to end it now and the OP can make a decision.

Admittedly I did say I thought it was utterly awful HOWEVER it was not because they dared to disagree with me?! Not entirely sure where you got that from, but if you re read my post you would see I said I thought it was utterly awful they would decline a wedding invite just purely because someone had mentioned the gifting of money.

ohreally

weebit wrote: »

the second reason being that the wedding is turning out to be more expensive than we initially thought it would, so any extra cash would come in very handy.

Cut you cloth according to your means then.

Don't invite then try and mitigate the cost on to the guests.

bazzyb

krustylouise wrote: »

Weddings from start to finish are entirely individual for couples, parents and guests. What YOU think SHOULD or SHOULD NOT happen, it is entirely up to the individual. Just because you don't agree with everybodys views doesn't give you the right to brand them as "unnecessary".

I'm all for weddings being personalised and individual, however generally speaking people tend to keep to certain traditions with a wedding - for example dress, flowers, cars, cake, speeches, bridesmaids, etc. Why people choose to let decorum go out of the window when it comes to invites, and be so rude as to tell people to bring a gift or cash, I have no idea.

If I was invited to a wedding or indeed any other event which came with a list of 26 rules to be followed it would most certainly end up in the bin.

krustylouise

bazzyb wrote: »

I'm all for weddings being personalised and individual, however generally speaking people tend to keep to certain traditions with a wedding - for example dress, flowers, cars, cake, speeches, bridesmaids, etc. Why people choose to let decorum go out of the window when it comes to invites, and be so rude as to tell people to bring a gift or cash, I have no idea.

If I was invited to a wedding or indeed any other event which came with a list of 26 rules to be followed it would most certainly end up in the bin.

I must've missed the part about 26 rules because what I read was an a-z of INFO, advice about accommodation and so forth, rules was never mentioned!

FBaby

I do find it either odd or incredibly creative to do a a to z of info because surely it is about info people require rather than info that start by a particular letter.

My wedding was 6 months ago now and it is nice to reflect on what went brilliantly and what not so. Thankfully I would change nothing. However I have to say that although I have no regrets having asked for nothing I do regrets having asked for vouchers rather than cash WHEN people insisted on something. The cash that was given is going towards our honeymoon (taken a year later which feels great for us)and it is nice to tell people so. As for the vouchers we still have most of them and don't know what to do with them. Why took a shopping trip twice but both times couldn't get excited about anything for the value of the vouchers and we just didn't want to get something for the sake of it. We are keeping them on the assumption that they will come handy at one point but it would have been nice to tell those who gave them what we bought by now.

On another wedding subject what I can say looking back is that I am so glad we sticked to our budget and didn't get into debts. It is hard enough to move on from all the excitement of planning the prospect of having to repay it afterwards would really have put a dumper to the first months of married life.

CH27

FBaby wrote: »

I do find it either odd or incredibly creative to do a a to z of info because surely it is about info people require rather than info that start by a particular letter.

My wedding was 6 months ago now and it is nice to reflect on what went brilliantly and what not so. Thankfully I would change nothing. However I have to say that although I have no regrets having asked for nothing I do regrets having asked for vouchers rather than cash WHEN people insisted on something. The cash that was given is going towards our honeymoon (taken a year later which feels great for us)and it is nice to tell people so. As for the vouchers we still have most of them and don't know what to do with them. Why took a shopping trip twice but both times couldn't get excited about anything for the value of the vouchers and we just didn't want to get something for the sake of it. We are keeping them on the assumption that they will come handy at one point but it would have been nice to tell those who gave them what we bought by now.

On another wedding subject what I can say looking back is that I am so glad we sticked to our budget and didn't get into debts. It is hard enough to move on from all the excitement of planning the prospect of having to repay it afterwards would really have put a dumper to the first months of married life.

Check the expiry date on the vouchers.