Asking for money instead of gifts?

Tashatutuw

This thread is turning into flipping chaos. :mad: I am saddened everytime I come online and see that the debate continues to rage... Has anyone noticed that even OP is so fed up they've stopped commenting?

You are not all going to agree. Fact. I have my opinion - I have spoken in depth with LOTS of people I know about this and I have read all your comments. I am sure many of you have had similar conversations with those around you.

EACH TO THEIR OWN!!! But for those of you who have started to insult each other and comment on the private lives of those who have dared to comment in the contrary of your opinion - shame on you.

brightonman123

can the ranters take it to DM, thanks!

MSE is for POSITIVE thinking!

weebit

Tashatutuw wrote: »

This thread is turning into flipping chaos. :mad: I am saddened everytime I come online and see that the debate continues to rage... Has anyone noticed that even OP is so fed up they've stopped commenting?

I've been reading but couldn't be arsed replying because of all the bickering!!!

I can't even be arsed letting you know what we've decided to do either, but this thread has given me food for thought on the type of people who frequent this forum.

Good bye all!

mountainofdebt

weebit wrote: »

I've been reading but couldn't be arsed replying because of all the bickering!!!

I can't even be arsed letting you know what we've decided to do either, but this thread has given me food for thought on the type of people who frequent this forum.

Good bye all!

Manners cost nothing you know.

Jackie132

But, i think it is not the right way to ask all your guests to bring the money instead of wedding gifts. Would it be right idea to utter something like that. Since, everyone coming to your wedding are unaware of that things and have their own idea to present you gift.

debtmess

We got married last Saturday . We didn't make any sort of gift list etc and were asked by a few. Me and now dh have lived together, both of us had children so felt we did not need gifts however we ended up with gift vouchers cash cheques and some nice little gifts like photo albums etc.

I personally don't think a gift list in with a wedding invite is right, but if you are asked I cannot see it would be rude to suggest you would prefer money

lotstodotoday

Every single wedding we have been to (maybe 20 now) has had a gift list or notice about honeymoon donations or money except for two. When asked, one suggested vouchers and another was abroad so we bought a gift to take with us. This essentially means that however much people on this thread get offended by it, it happens.... Most of the time!

As a guest I find it far easier and prefer it. When we got married we asked for donations for our honeymoon as we didn't need any more things as we'd been together almost a decade. People will bring gifts and most welcome some direction to pick one. Outside of this thread, it's just so common and entirely socially acceptable.

Now I do find it very rude when people don't bother with thank you notes.....!

FBaby

Now I do find it very rude when people don't bother with thank you notes.....!

Indeed, and really show people's true colours. I had a bad feeling from the start about my OH's friend wedding. It seemed all about appearances from the start, but my OH assured me that his friend wasn't like this at all, that she was a lovely woman, really down to earth, yet I thought if that was the case, she would have been unlikely to have chosen the venue she did.


In any case, the wedding was all about showing off, and sure enough, despite giving cash as ordered, we got no thank you card. My OH hasn't said, but I can tell he is really disappointed and is unlikely to make any efforts in the future to get in touch. I think it is just plain rude and can't believe anyone who can go to the length of arranging such an extravagant wedding could stop at the last bit which is to actually show appreciation for the efforts people have made to celebrate their special day.

Stephb1986_2

I hate people not using their manners it grips me at Christmas & Birthdays when niece's & nephews don't say thank you I was brought up with manners it's not hard.

I have already organised with our photographer that we are going to get some sparklers and write Thank You with them on a photo for the front of our thank you cards

Some people clearly have no manners.

Steph x

Georgiegirl256

fabforty wrote: »

As a guest, this (the part in bold) would really annoy me. It's a couple saying that we are going to have an expensive wedding but, would like guests to give cash to help offset the cost. I can't think of a good way/best way of saying that.


I don't really understand the argument about giving cash instead of buying gifts that are not wanted - surely that's the point of a wedding present list. If you have everything that you need, then no need for a gift list. But if there are things that you need, then you specify those things on the list. Money to help pay for the wedding - I know that you didn't use those exact words, but that's what that line in bold amounts to - is tacky.

Exactly this. I notice the OP has stopped commenting now, and I probably wouldn't have bothered if that bit that fab forty bolded hadn't have wound me up!

I mean seriously, because the OP (and others I'm sure) couldn't stick to a budget for their wedding, they expect everyone else to pay for it, that's exactly what it boils down to. Non of this faff about 'oh we've lived together for years, there's nothing we need' which is true for a lot of people I know, but that's just sugar coating it and basically you're saying 'we've skinted ourselves paying for this wedding, give us some money'