Asking for money instead of gifts?

Torry_Quine

I stand by my comments that no mention of preference as to gifts or money should be sent with the invitations. If a guest asks the couple what they would like then and only then is it acceptable to say that money is preferred.

bazzyb

krustylouise wrote: »

I agree, some people can choose nice gifts {rather than a ghastly bowl} however if the bride and groom don't require any such gifts, then your money would be a waste

I bet Christmas and birthdays are a barrel of laughs in your household. Do you tell people to stick the receipts in with any gifts they get you so you can take then back? Or just tell them not to bother so that their money isn't a waste.

krustylouise

bazzyb wrote: »

I bet Christmas and birthdays are a barrel of laughs in your household. Do you tell people to stick the receipts in with any gifts they get you so you can take then back? Or just tell them not to bother so that their money isn't a waste.

:rotfl: when people are as desperate as you to try and insult me with comments like that I have to laugh...bless.

ognum

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I stand by my comments that no mention of preference as to gifts or money should be sent with the invitations. If a guest asks the couple what they would like then and only then is it acceptable to say that money is preferred.

I agree with this, poems or other requests for gift or cash are in my opinion not correct.

Invite the people you love and like to your wedding, do it because you want to be with them. If they decide to give you a gift whether it's money or an actual gift that is your loved ones choice not yours unless you are asked.

Everything is becoming too materialistic, some people in this this thread appear to have lost the mean of a wedding. It's not about the gift!!!!

bazzyb

ognum wrote: »

I agree with this, poems or other requests for gift or cash are in my opinion not correct.

Invite the people you love and like to your wedding, do it because you want to be with them. If they decide to give you a gift whether it's money or an actual gift that is your loved ones choice not yours unless you are asked.

Everything is becoming too materialistic, some people in this this thread appear to have lost the mean of a wedding. It's not about the gift!!!!

Very well said.

ognum

krustylouise wrote: »

:rotfl: when people are as desperate as you to try and insult me with comments like that I have to laugh...bless.[/

This doesn't surprise me, IMO you do not come out well from this thread.

krustylouise

ognum wrote: »

krustylouise wrote: »

:rotfl: when people are as desperate as you to try and insult me with comments like that I have to laugh...bless.[/

This doesn't surprise me, IMO you do not come out well from this thread.

Well that's strange because there are more people on this thread who agree with me than disagree. And I'd just like to point out that the observant of you would have noticed that I have previously mentioned that I have not and would not put a gift/money request in y wedding invitations and I did state that only if guests asked what we would like would we mention money (but only if they really wanted to give us something) but I guess people just see a debate and head on in their with their unfair opinions in the hope it makes themselves look good and make other look bad. And to quote Steph "I couldn't give a rats !!! what people on here think about me" :rotfl:

ognum

krustylouise wrote: »

ognum wrote: »

Well that's strange because there are more people on this thread who agree with me than disagree. And I'd just like to point out that the observant of you would have noticed that I have previously mentioned that I have not and would not put a gift/money request in y wedding invitations and I did state that only if guests asked what we would like would we mention money (but only if they really wanted to give us something) but I guess people just see a debate and head on in their with their unfair opinions in the hope it makes themselves look good and make other look bad. And to quote Steph "I couldn't give a rats !!! what people on here think about me" :rotfl:

I have been reading this thread as it has evolved, it is your comments about gifts like 'ghastly bowls' that make me saddened.

The definition of a gift is 'something given willingly without payment' it is as much about the giver as the receiver and if your friends/relative believes they have found something perfect for you then I am saddened that you would not welcome their gift in the spirit it is given rather than judging the monetary value and wishing they had just given you cash!

sometimes it is those small gifts that people give that come to have special memories I am sorry you won't have those.

DaisyFlower

bazzyb wrote: »

I bet Christmas and birthdays are a barrel of laughs in your household. Do you tell people to stick the receipts in with any gifts they get you so you can take then back? Or just tell them not to bother so that their money isn't a waste.

I'm sure there will already be a christmas wish list in operation and the baby shower one is already being prepped.

Whilst some dont think asking for money is cheeky or post boxes are tacky I can ensure you a lot of your guests will. They might not vouce it to you but will to each other.

Lack of manners is something people notice and comment on.

And for the record, we had no mention of gifts at all in our invites. We wanted people to be there to see us take our vows not to recoup costs, pay for a honeymoon or kit our house out.

redfragglebiker

Just wanted to wade in a bit here as I know the debate has been far ranginjg and a lot of people have said it's rude to include a gift list/money request in with the invite.

Myself and H2B both grew up at the other end of the country from where we now live. Both my Mum and my MIL2b have mentioned that several relatives and friends have already asked about a guest list and enquired as to if there would be one in with the invite or if they needed to contact us seperately to see what we would like or of we had a gift registry. We have decided to put in the "please don't feel obligated to buy us anything, we just want you to be there but if you really want to then money is preferred over a toaster etc" simply because so mayn relatives and friends seemed more worried that they wouldn't know what to get us if we hadn't included anything in with the invites. We have been very careful about our wording and made it very clear that as long as people can show up to celebrate with us then we couldn't give a toss whether they brought a gift or gave us anything etc. I think given the circumstances and familial conversations we have had that including the request is the right thing for us. It might not be for everyone but it fits our scenarios so we're going ahead with it.