Asking for money instead of gifts?

DaisyFlower

krustylouise wrote: »

Sorry but I disagree. If people feel that they are close enough to invite you to their wedding, I think it's utterly awful that you turn down the invite purely for monetary reasons. Personally from a bride point of view, if people WANT to buy us gifts we would rather their hard earned money went to something we would either get use of {as afterall that would be their intention} then I don't see anything wrong with suggesting how the money be better spent. As a guest point of view if I spent £30-£100 on someone I would rather they got something they truly appreciated than something like a gastly bowl that gets put into the charity shop or sold on for 1/3 of its value.

Obviously each to their own....

Utterly awful :rotfl: Yes because expecting an entry fee or for guests to pay for honeymoon is soooo not grasping or greedy. Believe it or not some people can choose nice gifts and dont opy for the first gastly bowl they see.

Thankfully my family was bought up with manners so none have mentioned gifts or cash in wedding invites. Distant friends and work colleagues have and last time i checked it wasnt against the law to say no to attending a wedding. Its supposed to be an invite not a demand that you attend.

I know one had one of those awful post boxes, so tacky and grasping. Be honest about it and print tickets with an entry fee at least.

krustylouise

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Utterly awful :rotfl: Yes because expecting an entry fee or for guests to pay for honeymoon is soooo not grasping or greedy. Believe it or not some people can choose nice gifts and dont opy for the first gastly bowl they see.

Thankfully my family was bought up with manners so none have mentioned gifts or cash in wedding invites. Distant friends and work colleagues have and last time i checked it wasnt against the law to say no to attending a wedding. Its supposed to be an invite not a demand that you attend.

I know one had one of those awful post boxes, so tacky and grasping. Be honest about it and print tickets with an entry fee at least.

This will be my last post on this thread as I feel the OP has enough replies to decide how they wish to proceed.

I agree, some people can choose nice gifts {rather than a ghastly bowl} however if the bride and groom don't require any such gifts, then your money would be a waste {whether it is a nice gift or not} and what is one persons taste, and the giver may wholeheartedly believe their gift to be gorgeous, sadly may not be the bride and grooms, therefore it will have been a waste of your money anyway.

I have been to two, possibly even three weddings where they have mentioned about living together so not requiring anything but if we wanted to give them something then money would be greatly received, and I never once batted an eyelid. It saved me time sourcing a present {which helps me as I live 30miles away from any decent shops and I work full time and am a single parent so time is to a minimum}. It also lets them buy what they would like either by using my money or putting my money together with more to buy something bigger such as furniture. I don't consider this bad manners. I was brought up to have very good manners, I was also brought up to be considerate to individuals circumstances.

I too have been to a wedding where they had one of those "tacky post boxes" it was a beautiful ivory wishing well made out of solid wood. It was very handy as the bride and groom were busy and tracking them down was difficult, and rather than clutching onto my card all night I was able to deposit my card into the wishing well along with the others and I could party the day/night away without having to worry about it

Tashatutuw

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Thankfully my family was bought up with manners so none have mentioned gifts or cash in wedding invites. Distant friends and work colleagues have and last time i checked it wasnt against the law to say no to attending a wedding. Its supposed to be an invite not a demand that you attend.

I know one had one of those awful post boxes, so tacky and grasping. Be honest about it and print tickets with an entry fee at least.

I think it is a step too far to insult peoples upbringing and manners just because they have different views to you. You know NOTHING about ANY of us and therefore should keep your frankly, offensive comments to yourself.

Those 'awful post boxes' are put there for the convenience of the guests so that as krustylouise states, you don't have to clutch your cards all night waiting for an opportunity to bog the bride or groom down with it. They are a MUCH safer option to leaving cards on a table where they can get knocked about and potentially lost.

Why won't people on forums remember, if you have nothing NICE to say, don't say anything at all.

heartbreak_star

Post boxes are a great idea means all the cards get kept together and none end up lost or damaged - if I got married I would be keeping my cards and would be very upset if one got trampled on because it got knocked off a table!

HBS x

tatabubbly

DaisyFlower wrote: »

I know one had one of those awful post boxes, so tacky and grasping. Be honest about it and print tickets with an entry fee at least.

I just bought a 'tacky' post box for our cards, moreso to keep them all together and that the best man isn't going to be running around like a pillock in order to keep them all in one place safe.

Plus, they are all together when you want to start your thank you cards

Prothet_of_Doom

24 years ago, we refused to have a wedding gift list, or ask anyone for anything, the principle being that the people we were inviting could if they wanted find out by asking us what we needed or wanted, or asking our friends, or they'd surprise us, because they knew us and what we liked.
This worked well with our friends who clubed together and bought us a beautiful peice of antique pine, but badly in that someone spent alot of money on a full set of Eternal Beau - If you lived in the 80's you'll vomit at the thought.

A couple of years ago my cousin got marrried (aged 40) and asked very specifically for money. Well, no way that I was going to give money. On principle again. Instead we bought a really nice peice of kitchenware in an highstreet store, and paid cash, and put in the receipt, so that if they really hated it, they could get the cash.
Once we got to the wedding, I knew why they wanted cash. They must have spent the GDP of wales on it.

FBaby

CH27 wrote: »

Check the expiry date on the vouchers.

Ha ha, thank you, we assumed it was 12 months, but indeed, worth checking.

FBaby

Once we got to the wedding, I knew why they wanted cash. They must have spent the GDP of wales on it.

I think this is what it comes down to. If I was asked cash by a couple who I knew had struggled to pay for a reasonably costed wedding, had saved, made sacrifices, I would be much more obliging than the couple who invited us to the full reception (even though we are not close), asking for money in one of those poems in the invit card, to find out that they went for the most expensive weddings they could have in town. I personally found it very double standard. To add to it, we didn't even receive a thank you card which I found absolutely appauling.

brightonman123

why not sk for donations towards honeymoon? or review expensive wedding..

Stephb1986_2

I have a "tacky card box" but you know what? I love it and I don't give a rats backside if you think it's tacky or crass. I never asked for your opinion. I hope if you are getting married that you get some really awful vases, bowls, picture frames, kettles and toasters. While we will be spending the money given on something we actually need or want.