Asking for money instead of gifts?

heartbreak_star

I really don't think my friend is expecting or demanding money - it's just a case of "we really don't need presents, but we know some of you will want to give them".

I don't find that rude at all. Would you rather show up with a toaster that'll go straight to the charity shop simply because YOU want to buy that? That's just daft.

HBS x

bazzyb

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Would you rather show up with a toaster that'll go straight to the charity shop simply because YOU want to buy that? That's just daft.

Why would I buy something for somebody that they have no need for?! I agree that is daft. If I wanted to get somebody a gift and I didn't already have in mind something suitable then I would either ask if there was anything in particular that they wanted, or I would perhaps put some cash in a card.

Choosing to give a gift of any description should be a personal choice, and not because it is expected or a requirement of attendance.

heartbreak_star

This is what I'm trying to say though - my friends have not demanded cash, but I would think the last thing they need to do amidst the stress of finalising a wedding is to field a call from each and every guest asking if there's anything they want!

They have expressly stated that gift-giving is NOT required!

HBS x

Paulaviki

We asked for contributions to our honeymoon when we got married in 2011, obviously didn't offend our friends and family as we were lucky to get enough to pay for it in full. In fact we were overwhelmed and touched by their generosity!

I'd rather put money towards a honeymoon or similar than buy presents off an expensive gift list but that's just personal preference.

If I am invited to a wedding I wouldn't dream of not giving some sort of gift, and I'd much rather the bride and groom made it easier for me by telling me what they'd prefer.

lijaloo

When my daughter got married, her husband to be prepared an A to Z for guests which was included with invitation. G was for gifts and went on to say something along the lines that it was the guests presence and not presents that was important but if guests intended to provide a gift then dollars or pounds would be appreciated and would be spent wisely during their first few weeks of married life to help them have a memorable honeymoon.

It was well received and guests were happy to give them the money knowing what it was to be spent on. My husband made a wooden post box which was personalised with the bride and grooms details for guests to post their gifts and card at the reception.

cazziebo

Interesting views.

I'm with the "don't ask" camp. I believe in putting a lot of thought into gift giving and quite resent being told what to buy. If I don't know, I'll ask. Asking for money is really distasteful, in my view. As for the poems - just don't..

I was adamant about no presents for our wedding last year. Despite that, one of my best friends gave me a picnic hamper because she knows about our days out, A couple of cousins who didn't attend sent money with the instruction to spend it on a meal out and think of them. Oddly enough, we also got some picture frames from our local mechanic as the car broke down day before we were getting married and we had to explain why it had to be fixed immediately. (Gosh - hope they don't think we made that up in the hope of getting a present!)

19lottie82

I'm getting married in July and won't be asking for cash on the invites, I think that's pretty tacky. BUT if people ASK what we would like then I would suggest cash, or John Lewis vouchers.

19lottie82

krustylouise wrote: »

wouldn't you prefer your "gift" to be truly appreciated? Something they would really get use of? I'm sure everyone would. So what is the issue of requesting money?

But surely that's for the gift giver to decide, not for the bride / groom to request?

krustylouise

19lottie82 wrote: »

But surely that's for the gift giver to decide, not for the bride / groom to request?

Hi Lottie,

If you notice my comments above, you will see that I said asking for money in the invitations isn't what I would do, just like you I have taken the route of "if people ask I will say cash or vouchers".

bazzyb

lijaloo wrote: »

When my daughter got married, her husband to be prepared an A to Z for guests which was included with invitation. G was for gifts

I dread to think what the other 25 points were! An invite really just needs date, time, place and RSVP info. There should be no mention of gifts and I imagine the rest of the information on the 'A to Z' was completely unnecessary.