Asking for money instead of gifts?

xCarlyx_2

This thread has totally opened my eyes. I've been to about 7 weddings in the last 2 years, we are the last of our friends to finally tie the knot, every single invite included the poem asking for money. The first time I saw one I was a bit surprised, but not remotely offended, it made sense.

A few people have asked me already about gift lists etc, particularly my MIL to be. I found it odd as they know I've lived away from home for over a decade - what could we possibly need?

I only want two things, to one day replace my dreadful cooker and to finally get a dyson hoover. A honeymoon would be nice as we've not booked one and it's looking doubtful we could afford it. Our flat is tiny, most of our clothes and cookware are actually in the loft and we have to get in it every day to get things out of it. If we end up with vases, picture frames and toasters they'd have to be stored in my nan's garage!

I was going to include the poem thing, as it now seems to be the norm, but this thread has entirely put me off doing so. I think I'm best saying absolutely nothing and leaving it up to people to ask or do as they please. Atleast that way no one will be offended.

Sazzarella

I take these threads with a pinch of salt. I scoped out the asking for money thing within my group of friends/family and they all thought it was a good idea. I didn't put a twee poem, I just said there was no gift list and no need to buy a present but if they wished they could give some money to go towards our honeymoon.

Also the Invitation thread that said don't be so egotistical as to send your invitations more than 2 months before the wedding - I sent mine 6.5 months before the wedding and have had a load of rsvps already.

Just do what is right for you, no one is forcing your guests to give you any gift at all whether it be an item or money.

Torry_Quine

xCarlyx wrote: »

I was going to include the poem thing, as it now seems to be the norm, but this thread has entirely put me off doing so. I think I'm best saying absolutely nothing and leaving it up to people to ask or do as they please. Atleast that way no one will be offended.

That seems like a good idea.

Sazzarella wrote: »

Also the Invitation thread that said don't be so egotistical as to send your invitations more than 2 months before the wedding - I sent mine 6.5 months before the wedding and have had a load of rsvps already.

Just do what is right for you, no one is forcing your guests to give you any gift at all whether it be an item or money.

If I got an invitation so far ahead I wouldn't reply as I don't know what will be happening that far ahead. I wouldn't say it was egotistical but it doesn't take other people's situations into account.

Sazzarella

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If I got an invitation so far ahead I wouldn't reply as I don't know what will be happening that far ahead. I wouldn't say it was egotistical but it doesn't take other people's situations into account.

Should have mentioned, the RSVP date is 1st July so wasn't expecting everyone to reply right away. I sent them out so early because everyone was asking me the date for their diary/time off work. Just pointing out that some threads are full of people's opinions that doesn't always relate to your circumstances

Torry_Quine

Sazzarella wrote: »

Should have mentioned, the RSVP date is 1st July so wasn't expecting everyone to reply right away. I sent them out so early because everyone was asking me the date for their diary/time off work. Just pointing out that some threads are full of people's opinions that doesn't always relate to your circumstances

Now that does make a difference and so definitely isn't a problem with you.:)

xCarlyx_2

I think it depends on the situation. My OH is driving himself bonkers over getting the invitations out asap. Originally he was hoping they'd be ready to go 7 months in advance! The reason for this though is that we didn't send out save the dates (we just sort of passed the word around) and there will be a lot of travel involved as our families come from completely different parts of the country. People will need to think about transport if they don't drive and hotels will need to be booked. For a wedding at a sea side holiday location in July - peak season, really we thought people should have as much notice as possible. Our only concern is making life as easy as possible for our guests.

krustylouise

Our invitations are all ready to go, we're getting married in October and I'm keen to send them out (though will wait abit longer). I'd like to send them soon because 1. I'm so excited haha. And 2. We're getting married on a Friday so people would need notice if they wished to attend and would need the day off.

I would say we will send them middle of April, giving people 4.5months to RSVP

Jobseeeker

The money poem makes me cringe!

"Please don't think we're brash, if we ask you for some cash":rotfl:

tillyenna

Jobseeeker wrote: »

The money poem makes me cringe!

"Please don't think we're brash, if we ask you for some cash":rotfl:

LOL I totally agree - I think I would be MORE offended (or more likely to be offended) if someone put a poem in the invite asking for money than if they straight up just said on the invitation 'look, we have everything we need, but we're skint, so feel free to gift us cash'


I think it's actually the rhyming that I find offensive, not the asking for cash at all...

Tashatutuw

With regards to this I haven't put a request for cash on but my gift list (which I have included the details for) is limited. People know we are hoping to do a lot to the house so I hope they are kind (and I don't end up with 25 silver picture frames and wedding certificate holders..)

My invitations will be going out at the end of the month, giving people 5 months notice but we are asking for RSVPs by end of May so its really only 3 months. RSVPs are included and will be stamped so they have no excuse not to tick the boxes and pop it back to us. I don't think this is big headed or egotistical but practical as, like Carly and a few others have pointed out, people have travel, days off work etc to organise and I would like to give them as much opportunity to sort that as possible.