Asking for money instead of gifts?

TBagpuss

CompBunny wrote: »

I hate wedding politics so much No more! Decision made for us too: No mention of gifts, money or vouchers whatsoever. Just an invite to the wedding. If people want to give us a gift then that is very kind of them. If not, we're just glad they came to the wedding. Job done.

Oh, and if anyone asks us directly "Aaah thats really kind of you! We'll be grateful whatever you give us, but honestly we're just happy you are coming to our wedding. "

Good for you!

People can can you gifts if they want, they can give you money if they want, they are not being faced with a demand.

Chimpofdoom

split_second wrote: »

We are asking for money, we put the new kitchen on hold so we could have the nicest wedding we could afford. The other option is worse, be given gifts we don't like and either use them out of guilt or don't use them and feel guilty someone bought it and that we are wrong for not liking it

I totally agree with this. My fiancee and I have postponed some DIY projects on our flat as we're saving as much as possible to have the best day we can afford.

My family and our closest friends know our preference would be for holiday vouchers/money to help give us a honeymoon to remember and bar my mother (who claims most of the older generation would probably prefer to give us actual gifts), they've been quite positive about it.

So I think it depends on your guests, i've given money to friends as wedding presents as that''s what they wanted and I see no problem in it!

legogingerninja

Asking for money is fine. Loads of people do this nowadays. No more rude than the tradition of asking for specific presents from a 'gift list'.

Of course you can't assume or expect gifts, so don't organise a wedding you can't afford, thinking this cash will make up the difference. Anything you receive should be seen as a bonus. Also, steer clear from telling your guests this is why you are asking for cash.

I don't see the issue with cheques, as they can't be spent on champagne and if they get lost or stolen they can be cancelled.

lazer

Asking for any kind of gift - money or presents is rude.

You should graciously accept any gift you get and be pleasant about it.

As for the postboxes - sorry don't like them either, if your guests are kind enough to give you a card, they deserve to give it to your personally, and get a thanks.

When i got married, I loved talking to everyone when they were giving us the cards etc, it's a nice thing.

As for gifts - we got roughly a 50/50 mix between money and presents - but didn't ask for anything - if someone asked us what we wanted, we simply said nothing, just your attendance, if they pushed it we said we didn't mind - whatever they felt like, money and gifts equally acceptable!

My mum knew the one gift i really wanted - and she let my aunt know, so i got it.

I think its lovely now when I'm cooking or something that i left something out for the cupboard, and think thats a wedding present from friend x. Even if the presents aren't all exactly to my taste, they will still be used and i would rather have a plate that reminds me of the wedding and the friend who bought it, than a plate that ties exactly into my colour scheme.

Kayalana99

lazer wrote: »

As for the postboxes - sorry don't like them either, if your guests are kind enough to give you a card, they deserve to give it to your personally, and get a thanks.

When i got married, I loved talking to everyone when they were giving us the cards etc, it's a nice thing.

I never thought about it like that, I was more thinking 'what will I do with all the cards' and a post box seemed the best option.

What did you do with it all?

lazer

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I never thought about it like that, I was more thinking 'what will I do with all the cards' and a post box seemed the best option.

What did you do with it all?

The manager at the hotel was around all day and if we gave him things he would leave them in our room for us, we took some time the next day drinking champagne, and reading the cards and opening the presents.

An alternative is to have some kind of post box behind the scenes - (under the top table maybe) where you could put the cards yourself after the guests give them to you