Asking for money instead of gifts?

duchy

krustylouise wrote: »

Weddings from start to finish are entirely individual for couples, parents and guests. What YOU think SHOULD or SHOULD NOT happen, it is entirely up to the individual. Just because you don't agree with everybodys views doesn't give you the right to brand them as "unnecessary".

I think the issue is that for a lot of weddings you aren't just inviting your parents and closest friends who frankly won't care so long as you are happy . You're also likely inviting other people like extended family , people you work with etc whose opinions may not be the same as your loving family but what they think of you may be important...eg most people wouldn't want the aunts and uncles thinking they had no class ...or the boss thinking you had no manners so knowing that not everyone thinks the same as you -can be important .

Tashatutuw

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I have already organised with our photographer that we are going to get some sparklers and write Thank You with them on a photo for the front of our thank you cards
Steph x

This is what we are planning to do - I'm not sure yet but was considering the Vistaprint 'post cards' - the only worry with that is that we won't be able to put anything 'personal' in them as I hate the thought that Mr Postman is reading! lol

duchy

You could put them in envelopes
I'd think a thank you note *should* be personal not a general same thing to everyone so a photo postcard but with a personal message on each maybe?

Tashatutuw

duchy wrote: »

You could put them in envelopes
I'd think a thank you note *should* be personal not a general same thing to everyone so a photo postcard but with a personal message on each maybe?

I had thought of this but putting it in an envelope basically makes it a card so I wondered about just making the photo into cards where the photo can be removed from if desired (if that makes sense..) but thank you for your suggestion - definitely worth costing it out both ways!!

tillyenna

Tashatutuw wrote: »

This is what we are planning to do - I'm not sure yet but was considering the Vistaprint 'post cards' - the only worry with that is that we won't be able to put anything 'personal' in them as I hate the thought that Mr Postman is reading! lol

We're using the vistaprint postcards as our wedding invites - the smaller size will easily fit into an envelope (I've measured it out, not ordered them yet though)

weebit

Ok, I wasn't going to post again, but I feel like I need to clear some things up about myself.

Firstly, we're not having an "extravagant" wedding. We set ourselves a budget of £5000 which is what we worked out we could afford at the time. This was set without really researching into how much things cost. We had always planned for a wedding in Central London for around 120 guests. We have instead booked a venue in Greenwich (for which I negotiated a £2000 discount on the first quoted price), but the biggest difference in cost was for the food which is more than we initially thought. In total, we're looking at a cost of around £9000.

To help cover this extra cost, we have made cut-backs, have been selling unwanted things on eBay, and are gathering other stuff to sell at a car boot. We're also doing other things cheaper such as growing our own centre-pieces, buying in minimal decorations, designing our own invites and using a combination of self-printing and cheaper local professional printing.

Our band is free, our DJ is free. Both are friends of ours.

Nothing is costing us more than it needs to, nothing is surplus to requirements. In fact, today I worked out a way to save an additional £500.

Getting back to the subject of gifts, I would never dream of going to a wedding without getting the couple a gift of some description and I prefer the guidance of a gift list or honeymoon donation or cash or gift vouchers. If I don't tell people what I'd prefer, how many times will we have to tell people what we'd prefer? I don't think I could mention that 120 times!

Stephb1986_2

Just a question for the ladies that are using our tacky postboxes is yours only coming out in the evening? If so what will all the day guests do with theirs until then? If No where are you going to put it?

Many Thanks

Steph xx

FBaby

I think the issue is that for a lot of weddings you aren't just inviting your parents and closest friends who frankly won't care so long as you are happy . You're also likely inviting other people like extended family , people you work with etc whose opinions may not be the same as your loving family but what they think of you may be important...

I think that's the crux of the issue and exactly what we experienced. Of course our family wanted to spoil us and ALL of them have given us money that has gone towards our honeymoon. However, we invited people who we only see very occasionally, people my husband had known forever, work people etc... and those are the people who shouldn't feel an obligation to give cash.


The wedding we went to was an old colleague of my husband, someone I had never met before. He has never met her partner. We were even surprised to be invited for the whole ceremony. Big difference to be asked for money in this circumstances than it was when it was my best friend's wedding.

Sazzarella

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Just a question for the ladies that are using our tacky postboxes is yours only coming out in the evening? If so what will all the day guests do with theirs until then? If No where are you going to put it?

Many Thanks

Steph xx

Probably depends on the venue. We have 2 rooms in ours so the cake and postbox are going to be set up all day in the reception room. Do you just have 1 room? Or church then reception?

Stephb1986_2

Sazzarella wrote: »

Probably depends on the venue. We have 2 rooms in ours so the cake and postbox are going to be set up all day in the reception room. Do you just have 1 room? Or church then reception?

We have the ceremony room and a small chapel room off the side (the chapel isn't licensed for weddings as it has religious symbols) but the ceremony room is also the wedding breakfast room and evening reception room