Asking for money instead of gifts?

weebit

Hi all,

Me and my wife have decided to ask for money from our guests instead of wedding gifts. there are 2 reasons for this, firstly we have lived together for several years already and have most things we need. when we started thinking about what we would put on a wedding list, a lot of things were replacements/upgrades of things we currently own. the second reason being that the wedding is turning out to be more expensive than we initially thought it would, so any extra cash would come in very handy.

I have read online numerous ways about how best to go about this. I want to steer clear from asking for cash/cheques to be given on the day for fear that they could get lost/stolen/spent on champagne etc, but also don't think the thought of using a website such as justthething.co.uk which takes a 7.5% commission on gifts.

Does anyone have any other thoughts on how best to go about doing this? My mind is going blank.

Thanks

Ainat

We asked for Amazon vouchers when we got married a few months ago. Some people sent them to us digitally, so we got them via email (maybe something to consider - no cash needs to pass hands on the day). Others gave them to us in the form of gift cards.

We've lived together quite a while, but in rented, furnished accommodation. We do have some stuff already, the basics, but we're in the process of buying our first home together, (which is larger than our rented house) so the Amazon vouchers will help us with getting things for the new place. Seeing as at the time of the wedding we knew we were going to be looking to buy a house in the near future vouchers were more practical for us than the actual gifts (storage space being a key issue).

Someone did give us a loaded credit card type thing. I'm not sure what they're actually called. But it meant they could give us money without giving us actual cash. From what I can tell (we haven't used it yet) it works the same as a debit card, with a set amount put on it.

Final thing - I'm not sure what website they used, but some friends of ours used a website that allowed guests to give money as gifts through the website and the money went towards their honeymoon...

Not sure if any of that helps in any way...

Stephb1986_2

We've got a locked postbox that will be available for cards which will be emptied and the cards etc will be put in our room I got it from ebay for about £15.

Steph x

Torry_Quine

In my opinion you should never ask for anything and certainly not money unless the guests ask you what you want. Definitely don't put a request for money in with the invitations.

hcb42

If I was attending a wedding , I would not be impressed with a request for cash. If you have most things you need, there is no need for a wedding list either.

bazzyb

Torry_Quine wrote: »

In my opinion you should never ask for anything and certainly not money unless the guests ask you what you want. Definitely don't put a request for money in with the invitations.

Agreed. It's vulgar to include a gift list with a wedding invitation, and a note asking for money is even worse in my opinion. You may as well not bother with the invites and sell tickets instead as that is what it equates to.

Stephb1986_2

We was asked off the majority of guests what we wanted before we even sent the invites out so we put a note in and no one has had a problem with it as far as we know.

We have also received evening invitations with money poems in too. We've always just done that instead of buying a gift they wouldn't/didn't want it's better than having to worry about what to get them when it's easier to give cash.

Torry_Quine

Stephb1986 wrote: »

We was asked off the majority of guests what we wanted before we even sent the invites out so we put a note in and no one has had a problem with it as far as we know.

We have also received evening invitations with money poems in too. We've always just done that instead of buying a gift they wouldn't/didn't want it's better than having to worry about what to get them when it's easier to give cash.

If guests have already asked then that's fine and very different from pre-empting them.

If I got a money poem with an invitation I would think less of the couple involve, to me you never ask for money upfront like that.

fairy_lights

I agree that its a bit cheeky to ask for money. Fair enough if you don't want random gifts, but it costs so much to attend a wedding sometimes, what with travel, accommodation and perhaps a new outfit, that to be asked for a cash gift as well is pushing it a bit imo.

paulineb_2

Id have no problem giving someone money or something from a gift list and I have given something from a gift list for a wedding. Better to give something a couple wants than end up with lots of duplicate items. Its realistic that a lot of couples live together before marriage so its pointless giving items for the home if they already have them, unless they want spares or items to upgrade. I wouldnt think less of anyone if they asked for money, because I wouldnt go to a wedding without buying a gift anyway.

*Louise*

We just didn't ask for anything- most people gave money as a gift anyway, or Euros to be used on honeymoon. Some asked our parents who just suggested that cash or gift vouchers would be appreciated. I think most people were happy not to have to think about what to get

We had a little post box which just said 'Wedding cards. Thank you' which everyone used and it was put away when everyone sat down for the meal.