Asking for money instead of gifts?

marleyboy

NEVER assume guests will buy gifts or give money to you. It would be more than enough for me to not to bother gifting.

So many negative factors are involved in assuming, a guest would feel obligated to give cash, a guest will undoubtedly be worrying how much they MUST pay, or whether or not they will be judged for giving lesser than any other guest.

Your best bet is to politely ask if guests are opting to buy gifts, that they leave the purchasing to yourselves, with an anonymous donation in a blank envelope.

Angela

I wouldn't like a request for cash in my invite,absolutely vulgar.

fabforty

weebit wrote: »

Hi all,

Me and my wife have decided to ask for money from our guests instead of wedding gifts. there are 2 reasons for this, firstly we have lived together for several years already and have most things we need. when we started thinking about what we would put on a wedding list, a lot of things were replacements/upgrades of things we currently own. the second reason being that the wedding is turning out to be more expensive than we initially thought it would, so any extra cash would come in very handy.

I have read online numerous ways about how best to go about this. I want to steer clear from asking for cash/cheques to be given on the day for fear that they could get lost/stolen/spent on champagne etc, but also don't think the thought of using a website such as justthething.co.uk which takes a 7.5% commission on gifts.

Does anyone have any other thoughts on how best to go about doing this? My mind is going blank.

Thanks

As a guest, this (the part in bold) would really annoy me. It's a couple saying that we are going to have an expensive wedding but, would like guests to give cash to help offset the cost. I can't think of a good way/best way of saying that.


I don't really understand the argument about giving cash instead of buying gifts that are not wanted - surely that's the point of a wedding present list. If you have everything that you need, then no need for a gift list. But if there are things that you need, then you specify those things on the list. Money to help pay for the wedding - I know that you didn't use those exact words, but that's what that line in bold amounts to - is tacky.

Stephb1986_2

fabforty wrote: »

I don't really understand the argument about giving cash instead of buying gifts that are not wanted - surely that's the point of a wedding present list. If you have everything that you need, then no need for a gift list. But if there are things that you need, then you specify those things on the list.

I wouldn't want to ask for a dish washer or a new boiler etc so it's easier to receive cash so a number of guests help pay for the boiler for argument's sake rather than someone paying for a boiler. If that makes sense

ellesbellesxxx

We are using the h0neyfund...it's good as effectively people can give you cash, but you give them the option as to what for. EG: 20 towards dinner on honeymoon, 10 towards a trip... it is free if people pay offline to you (although doesn't avoid cash/cheq - but they can pay via paypal for normal fee)
This seems to be a very controversial topic but my personal opinion is that I would rather get someone something they really want to help set them up for their married lives together.

donnalou

I think when people ask for money the guests feel obliged to give more than they would spend on a gift. £50 is like the going rate, where if you bought a gift you may only spend £20 or £30.

krustylouise

As a guest I prefer to give money because its easier I don't have to trawl through pages and pages of a guest list to find something that I can afford but that isn't the cheapest on the list.

PlymouthMaid

It can sound vulgar but I think it definitely makes sense. I dont like the idea of 'my wedding is expensive so please send cash' but I also don't like the idea of pointless gifts. Nobody should be obligated to spend loads or buy a gift but people often want to give something. My daughter and her husband had a mixture and the generous money gifts (big and small) went towards their house deposit as that was the one thing they really needed and people were more than happy to chip in towards. I think the money gifting was only really mentioned to close family when they asked about gifts as it did seem a bit tacky otherwise. Another relative has John Lewis list which had a charity giving option too.

Rainbowbrite

We would prefer to receive money gifts and I think nowadays most people prefer to give money gifts. We aren't saying anything or requesting money but we also are not having a gift list so I think most guests will give money.

I think it's a bit tacky to ask for money even if its a cutesy money poem!

claire16c

Pretty much everyone I know who has got married asked for money or vouchers.

We didnt put anything in our invites, we let our guests ask us or my parents and we then said we did not expect any gifts but if they wanted to give us something, please make it cash or a voucher.

The weddings Ive been to have had post box things, you just put the card with the money in there. Unless one of your guests is going to run off with it I dont think you really need to worry about it getting stolen! You could even get a bridesmaid or family member to empty it periodically or something and put in a safe place if you are really that bothered.