Pre-nup wanted by future in laws

mrcow

You need to move out of that house. Rent somewhere else.

And get married

And don't sign anything

And don't ever let anyone get away with thinking less of you than you deserve. Or try and interfere or dictate terms to your family.

Life is far too short. Do what is right by yourself.

Any

What a catch your OH is!!
I don't think your FIL is at fault here.. he wants to protect his investment.
Your OH either needs to buck up his ideas if you want to live in a nice house, or you should go back to your own house and build up to a nice house from there.
NOTHING is ever for free.
I don't blame FIL to want to protect his investment when his son lived at home until he met you, earns minimum wage and cannot stand up for himself.. he never left his ,skirts' (if he was a mother lol).

And by giving him stuff he is not helping him at all. People grow with experiences and hard work, being proud of what they created and how they look after their own... not by accepting gifts with strings attached and having easy life!!

marmitepotato

FIL is at fault totally. He should have made sure his son knew the value of hard work and money. By buying his son a house, FIL has neatly tied the son to him for the rest of his life.

Skippycat

I wouldn't sign it just out of spite....

Your future father in law does come across as being quite manipulative. I would worry that if you sign the agreement now you are going to spend the rest of your life being dictated to by him.

bigmomma051204

OP, you seem to resent your FIL for thinking you want something for nothing. Yet you appear to be quite happy to live free gratis in his house for the rest of your life.

Way to go in proving him wrong :cool:

Bennifred

Well - FIL cannot force you to sign anything. What will be the outcome if you refuse? I presume your OH will still want to marry you? If not, then you know where you are in his estimation, and may want to rethink your relationship.

If I was you, I would refuse to even discuss a prenup, I would get married (then make new wills!) and then work as hard as I could to get out from relying on inlaws in any way. Disregard any possible future inheritance - you need to be independant. I would hope that OH feels the same way.

mgdavid

msb5262 wrote: »

I'd tell the parents in law to do one - it's none of their business, and given the length of time you've been together, it would probably have very little standing in law.

had you missed the point that it's not the son's house? With that attitude I'd be suggesting you go elsewhere to put a roof over your head !

Seanymph

I would say your in-laws obviously have family money to be able to provide a roof for your family. And therefore enabling you to provide a roof for your eldest FOC.

They support you, you support yours.

People don't get family money by giving it away.

I have to say the 23 likes on downshifts post signal the way to me - in not signing a pre-nup what are you saying exactly? That you want to inherit something you haven't contributed to? That you are intending to divorce your OH and take him for the house?

Your FIL is looking after ALL of you whilst you are married - and if anything happens to your other half or your marriage he remains looking after his grandchildren.

I don't see him as that unreasonable as it goes - he is allowing you to provide a house for your child, work part time, and for your OH to get MW.

Stop being cross and work out why it's a problem for you. Is it because of being homeless? But you have a house of your own you could live in! Why on earth do you think your FIL should provide you with one if you aren't married to his son?

So, get a solicitor to add in that all the time your youngests live there you can live with them - in the event of death or divorce.

Or get a right to live in there for life (unless you remarry is usual) in the event of your OH's death.

But just spitting the dummy and not even entertaining what he's trying to achieve is not productive and DOES make you look like a goldigger.

If you don't think you should inherit the house work out exactly what your concerns are and negotiate a resolution. It's business - OH is protecting his assets for his relatives, and that's really not that unreasonable.

And by putting it in trust he's actually doing it in a tax efficient manner and ensuring that it cant be touched or eroded - so actually he's looking out for the best interests of your OH and kids.

work with the guy.

twojaystwokays

Thanks guys for all your advice and opinions, I tried to talk to my oh last night but he wasnt very helpful, he kept getting annoyed saying it was nothing to do with him, he didnt care less where we live, it was up to me if I wanted to sign it etc, it could easily have escalated into a full blown argument (which is exactly what my fil wanted) so I bit my tongue and let it go.
He did say however that he was happy for his name to come of the trust and it just be in the childrens name, I assume this would then prevent me from making any claim on the house in the event of divorce. therefore no need for the pre-nup. Could it be this simple?
Just to clear up a few points, I am happy to sign the pre-nup as I have no financial interest in my oh but when I get married what is mine will become ours, call me naive and old fashioned.
I also feel it then become them and us, me and my two elder children and my oh, his family and my two youngest. I assumed that marriage would bring us all as one family.
As I have said before, I am happy to pay rent above board but I am not giving him cash so he can avoid tax and I have no proof I have paid a penny.

Own_My_Own

If you are happy to pay rent then rent somewhere else. Move out. Why do you live there ?
You are playing into his hands. You say you won't row with your partner because that is what FIL wants. Are you expecting to spend your life never having a row with your partner. Just staying quiet to get the upper hand on your FIL. Either way you lose.

Tell your partner you all move to a new home and rent it or you all move back to your old house.

And why won't you bring your home into the pre-nup ?