Pre-nup wanted by future in laws

rpc

twojaystwokays wrote: »

as far as I am concerned what we have now and what we will always have is ours not his and not mine.

Clearly, neither your OH or his dad feel the same way. What's yours is his and what's his is his?

If you don't settle this now, pain and heartache beckon in the future.

twojaystwokays wrote: »

I am inclined to sign it

If you sign without independent legal advice, a judge might use the agreement to blow his nose but nothing more.In order for a pre-nup to be given any weight at all, both sides must have independent legal advice.

I suspect legal advice would be to run a mile.

pollypenny

I was initially appalled at this FIL. However, the issue is not so simple as the OP has her own house, albeit a small one.

The FIL possibly envisages his son being homeless while OP has two houses.

Surely doing something with your own house would give you independence, OP?

Mojisola

pollypenny wrote: »

The FIL possibly envisages his son being homeless while OP has two houses.

If the house they are living in is in a trust, I don't see that the OP could gain any rights to it. At most, she could get permission to live in the family home until the children are adults.

I wonder if the FIL is trying to protect his son's future inheritance thinking that, as soon as the parents have died and the son is wealthy, she will divorce him and walk away with the money.

SavingPennies_2

twojaystwokays wrote: »

I am so glad I put this on here because I get different points of view. I still have my other house, still paying the mortgage on it, my eldest son lives there with his girlfriend, they are both students. It is in a bad area and isnt worth selling at the minute.
I have no financial interest in my partner or his family, yes they are fairly well off but I brought my two eldest up as a single parent and I will always be financially dependant on my own.
I cant work full time as my two youngest are dependant and if someone would like to take my partner on for more than the minimum wage then please get in touch.
I know I made a mistake moving in this house but its no mansion or anything, but it was better than a two bedroom ex council house (which I was more than happy with for me and my two eldest) but for two adults and four kids was not practical.
There is some tax issue (which is where the rent issue comes in) I wanted to pay rent on a regular basis direct debit but my partners dad wants cash and I am not that daft. I am not sure what the tax issue is so if someone could help me on that, it might help me to understand.
My main concern as I said before is where would I stand and my two eldest children if something happened.

I suspect the tax issue is he doesnt want to pay it!

so are you saying you are actually paying rent to future FIL? id move back to your old house (your son and gf should be able to rent somewhere thier own) OR you, OH and kids rent a place of your own, I couldnt bear someone having that much control over me.

rpc

Mojisola wrote: »

If the house they are living in is in a trust, I don't see that the OP could gain any rights to it. At most, she could get permission to live in the family home until the children are adults.

It is far from that straightforward. You would think it is, but it isn't.

Essentially she can argue that husband's beneficial interest was part of the marital assets and therefore she should be awarded an interest.

I posted some links earlier to show how messy it can get.

an9i77

sorry to hijack, but does anyone know the answer to this related question? I currently own a house with my partner as tenants in common, so if we were to split he would get his stake back (75% of the value). We have decided to get married, on getting married will this wipe out the previous agreement or will it still stand?

rpc

an9i77 wrote: »

sorry to hijack, but does anyone know the answer to this related question? I currently own a house with my partner as tenants in common, so if we were to split he would get his stake back (75% of the value). We have decided to get married, on getting married will this wipe out the previous agreement or will it still stand?

1 - start your own thread.

2 - marriage has little effect (divorce is a different matter and you might start at 50/50 there)

FBaby

My main concern as I said before is where would I stand and my two eldest children if something happened.

To be honest, you shouldn't rely on any assets that you or your husband havent contributed to as a mean for security if something happened to either of you. You have four children, it is your and your fiance's responsibility to protect your future. You should both have life insurance policies (and potentially others).

cte1111

The tax issue in terms to paying rent is because the rent would be income to the trust itself. Tax allowances for trusts / trustees are not straightforward. If you want further information on this, then you will need to find out what kind of trust it is.

Whatever happens, the trust always has to act in the best interests of the beneficiaires, e.g. your partner and youngest 2 children. This could end up in a legal mess, if you were to split up with your partner, whether you are married or not. If the children were to remain with you, then the trust would have to decide between the best interests of the children and your (ex) partner.

IMHO trusts are a bit of a nightmare, that make plenty of money for the legal profession. If I were in your situation, I would take a lot more interest in the details of the ownership of the house in which you are living.

I would also address wills and life insurance for both yourself and your partner as a matter of some urgency. You really need to have a serious discussion about what you would both want to happen, if either of you were to die / need care. Would you want your eldest to own your old house? If not, then you need to set this out. You need to look at all your assets and make a plan for the future.

Re the 'pre-nup', personally I wouldn't sign it.

*Louise*

You would think 7 years was long enough to prove you weren't a gold digger. I could understand the pre nup request if you were having a whirlwind relationship and marriage but 7 years...?

I wouldn't sign it. FIL can expect fireworks if he wants but I would stay calm, state the position and most importantly, find out what side OH is on.