Pre-nup wanted by future in laws

Arthien

lostinrates wrote: »

Not clear to us here is not the same as not clear to op's fil' his solicitor and even perhaps his son!

Very true! I would second the solicitor option OP, and I don't see why your FIL shouldn't pay for it, if he's the one who's so keen to protect his investment. Just make sure you pick your own solicitor, don't just use his!

fabforty

twojaystwokays wrote: »

I am so glad I put this on here because I get different points of view. I still have my other house, still paying the mortgage on it, my eldest son lives there with his girlfriend, they are both students. It is in a bad area and isnt worth selling at the minute.
I have no financial interest in my partner or his family, yes they are fairly well off but I brought my two eldest up as a single parent and I will always be financially dependant on my own.
I cant work full time as my two youngest are dependant and if someone would like to take my partner on for more than the minimum wage then please get in touch.
I know I made a mistake moving in this house but its no mansion or anything, but it was better than a two bedroom ex council house (which I was more than happy with for me and my two eldest) but for two adults and four kids was not practical.
There is some tax issue (which is where the rent issue comes in) I wanted to pay rent on a regular basis direct debit but my partners dad wants cash and I am not that daft. I am not sure what the tax issue is so if someone could help me on that, it might help me to understand.
My main concern as I said before is where would I stand and my two eldest children if something happened.

So basically you are funding your older son and his girlfriend by paying for the houe that they live in, while you and your partner and children are supported by his father. That's what it boils down to.


As others have said, you either need to accept your FIL terms while accepting what he is giving to you, or you do what everyone else does and go it alone.
It might be tough. There might not be much spare cash around, you might have to work more hours even if it means working alternate shifts to your huband so that you can share childcare.
If your house won't sell, move in to it. You are paying for it anyway.
Your eldest son and his girlfriend will have to do the same - i.e. stand on their own two feet, work while studying and possibly live in shared accommodation instead of having a house all to hemselves.
Or you can have the 'luxury' of your current situation with conditions attached. Only you can decide which option you prefer. I know what I would do. If you are worried about what will happen to your eldest two children, you need to make provision for them as their mother. If something happened you would still have your own house, you just wouldn't have anything from your FIL.

marmitepotato

msb5262 wrote: »

I'd tell the parents in law to do one - it's none of their business, and given the length of time you've been together, it would probably have very little standing in law.

^^^^^ This. I'd be telling future FIL, that I felt hurt by his suggestion, as I've been with his son for the past seven years, had two children by him and was no gold digger. He can take from that what he likes, the fact that he's made his son and your children secure but couldn't give a hoot about the children's mother (you) is beyond belief.:mad::mad::mad: what a selfish, thoughtless, hurtful man he is.

Mojisola

twojaystwokays wrote: »

I still have my other house, still paying the mortgage on it

I brought my two eldest up as a single parent and I will always be financially dependant on my own.

I cant work full time as my two youngest are dependant

If you do decide to sign a pre-nup, make sure your OH signs one as well otherwise he would have a claim on your house.

Have you considered working full-time and your OH giving up his low paid job to become a SAHD?

Acc72

msb5262 wrote: »

I'd tell the parents in law to do one - it's none of their business, and given the length of time you've been together, it would probably have very little standing in law.

A very simplistic answer.

However, as the OP (who works part time) and her partner (who earns minimum wage) both live in a house "bought and paid for" by the father in law this is probably not the best approach to take.

rpc

twojaystwokays wrote: »

My main concern as I said before is where would I stand and my two eldest children if something happened.

Family Law Act 1996 gives you a right to occupy if you are married and live there. That right would be extinguished on the death of your husband (obviously the marriage then ends).

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/relationship_breakdown/options_for_homeowners/matrimonial_home_rights

twojaystwokays

I could work full time but my wage is the same as my oh so it would not make us any better off, my other house is a two up two down terrace and if it came down to it I would move back there but it would be a big upheaval and unpractical.
I do understand where my fil is coming from but I find it a little bit sad that I have supported this family (my oh has had periods of being out of work) and I feel like I am being classed as some sort of gold digger.

System

I do understand where my fil is coming from but I find it a little bit sad that I have supported this family (my oh has had periods of being out of work) and I feel like I am being classed as some sort of gold digger.

He's just worried for his son. Worried that if you divorce, you will end up with both houses and his son end up with nothing.


I'd sign it and have sod all to do with his family but that's me....

twojaystwokays

I would not end up with both houses because I have no intention of getting my oh to sign a pre-nup on my house, as far as I am concerned what we have now and what we will always have is ours not his and not mine.
I wonder if he could just have the house in the two youngest childrens name and then it effectively has nothing to do with me or my oh.

Prothet_of_Doom

There's nothing worse than a paranoid, controlling, rich, ungenerous person.
Call his bluff. and your future husbands bluff.
Ensure that the simple, cheap wedding does not include a penny from your in laws, and make it clear that you won't sign a pre-nup, because it has nothing to do with him. If he wants you and your partner and his grand children to live rent free then that's fine, but if not, you'd like to start married life in a house where you pay the rent, and have a tennancy agreement. Or save a deposit and buy your own place.