Getting married and not telling anyone

Fleago

We "eloped" and had two friends as witnesses. We lived together, it was second time around for both of us and we planned it to coincide with attending an event hundreds of miles away that the friends were interested in going to as well. We then told our relatives and other friends after the fact.

If our relatives and friends were hurt or disappointed, they certainly didn't show it and all professed to be delighted that we had cemented our relationship with marriage.

To us, it was simply a private and personal "legalisation" of the commitment we had already made to each other by living together. I have absolutely no regrets and would do the same again.

Old_Git

my aunt and uncle worked in the same place they didnt tell anyone they where going together never mind getting married .She was 38 he was 39 .
The wedding was put off for a month as her brother had died that day .
They had two witnesses from work but no one else knew .
No photos just the basics .

My mum never forgave her .

My parents wedding was in mums home town some distance away .
Any off dads family that where already married didn't get asked .

jackieb

lostinrates wrote: »

That's said, jacking, I was mooching around the Internet and saw a thesis that actually suggested the opposite.

I didn't read it mind you.....



http://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/91806/burcham.pdf;jsessionid=2DA430D5BFAA0997EC02FB19CACE70CF?sequence=1


As a low key bride might not bode well, lol. Still....we're doing ok, . Well enough I feel confident not having to conceal evidence that potentially goes statistically against strength of my marriage. Lol. (Still haven't read it)

She needs to take a course in plain English.

Contrary to our hypothesis, we found no difference in relationship satisfaction (M = 3.85,
SD = 0.91) between the experiential (M = 3.92, SD = 0.76) and material conditions (M = 3.78,
SD = 1.04), t(92) = 0.73, p = .47

Georgiegirl256

Gloomendoom wrote: »

We should be ok. We didn't have seat covers or seating plans.

Edit: Or bridesmaids.

Neither did we! :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

jackieb wrote: »

Forgive me because this is the Daily Mail, but here you go.

We got married a month after Keira, and I remember being influenced by the laid back feel of her wedding. I thought good on them for doing it their way and not feeling they have to have an over the top celebrity wedding.

jackieb

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

We got married a month after Keira, and I remember being influenced by the laid back feel of her wedding. I thought good on them for doing it their way and not feeling they have to have an over the top celebrity wedding.

I do remember Kate Winslet having a very laid back do once, with sausage and mash in the local pub afterwards. That one didn't last long though - can't remember if that was her first or second. Is she now on her third?

Georgiegirl256

jackieb wrote: »

I do remember Kate Winslet having a very laid back do once, with sausage and mash in the local pub afterwards. That one didn't last long though - can't remember if that was her first or second. Is she now on her third?

Yeah she's on her third! I remember the sausage and mash first wedding!

lostinrates

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

We got married a month after Keira, and I remember being influenced by the laid back feel of her wedding. I thought good on them for doing it their way and not feeling they have to have an over the top celebrity wedding.

I think laid back is the key.

If people are enjoying the big day, if they have few stresses, and no debt and no one is hurt by it (families are so complicated ) then I think weddings in the traditional sense are simply lovely.


Our families were planning a big thing, and we were told the dates DH and I wanted (for sentimental reason) weren't suitable and that we had to look two years into the future to make a date people could do....that the colour I wanted to wear to get married in wash' right, that the flowers weren't good....its incredible what parents felt they should choose.


People we didn't know or like we're being prioritised over our friends for invitation list......

I was getting whooped up, and the date thing was a big issue for DH and I , we really for practical purposes were not happy to wait that long.


Sometimes I miss having a pretty dress and beautiful cake, but actually our day was perfect for us, we woke together, got dressed together, held hands all day, and were quietly together and putting our relationship in its place in our life.

Which really is what marriage is about......let no man put asunder or whatever..... I'd rather have held hands all day with DH than dance with cousins I barely know, or brother in laws there is tension with, or wondered who was gossiping about what. Playing hostess is exhausting, and really I'm glad my attention was where it was, on DH, not on our guests, which, is sadly where I think mine would have been otherwise too much for it to be as romantic as our day was for us.


A more laid back person than I might be a better hostess AND a better bride. I think I perhaps learnt in retrospect, my limitations are such that what we did was right for us.

jackieb

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yeah she's on her third! I remember the sausage and mash first wedding!

I think she just likes getting married.

jackieb

lostinrates wrote: »

I think laid back is the key.

If people are enjoying the big day, if they have few stresses, and no debt and no one is hurt by it (families are so complicated ) then I think weddings in the traditional sense are simply lovely.


Our families were planning a big thing, and we were told the dates DH and I wanted (for sentimental reason) weren't suitable and that we had to look two years into the future to make a date people could do....that the colour I wanted to wear to get married in wash' right, that the flowers weren't good....its incredible what parents felt they should choose.


People we didn't know or like we're being prioritised over our friends for invitation list......

I was getting whooped up, and the date thing was a big issue for DH and I , we really for practical purposes were not happy to wait that long.


Sometimes I miss having a pretty dress and beautiful cake, but actually our day was perfect for us, we woke together, got dressed together, held hands all day, and were quietly together and putting our relationship in its place in our life.

Which really is what marriage is about......let no man put asunder or whatever..... I'd rather have held hands all day with DH than dance with cousins I barely know, or brother in laws there is tension with, or wondered who was gossiping about what. Playing hostess is exhausting, and really I'm glad my attention was where it was, on DH, not on our guests, which, is sadly where I think mine would have been otherwise too much for it to be as romantic as our day was for us.

My thoughts exactly.

Not for me though. I don't think it would matter how much money I had. I would hate to be the centre of attention like that. It was bad enough with my 12 strong wedding lol