I'm not an evil step mum please be kind!

Blackpool_Saver

Jinx wrote: »

Because any action that makes either party feel uncomfortable is inappropriate and especially when it is done to stake a claim over 'territory'.

exactly, it's like animals peeing on territory. I do have some sympathy for the children who can only see their Dad occasionally BUT even so the Dad needs to grow a pair

themull1

ska_lover wrote: »

I really do not understand why a 13 year old sitting on her dads lap would make anyone uncomfortable at all to be honest.

Its not really normal though is it? Maybe up to age 6, but 13?

Buzzybee90

themull1 wrote: »

Its not really normal though is it? Maybe up to age 6, but 13?

I'm 21 :D

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

I think the situation is untenable because they already have far too much control over the situation!

In what way? Their dad left the family home, moved two hours away, married somebody else and is now having a new baby with them.

They might have a little bit of power on the small things, but in reality they've had none at all over the big, life changing, important things that have happened to them.

skyrocket

The daughter sitting on her dads lap is 16 and it isn't normal.
I come from a very huggy, tactile family and wouldn't have dreamed of sitting on my dads lap at 16.

Op I think you should probably back off for a bit when they are there and focus on you.
Don't leave them presents on their pillows, say hi breezily as they arrive and then get on with other stuff.
Let their dad look after them.
I think he is the problem to be honest. He is enabling their poor behaviour of you and forcing you to be in a difficult situation by accusing you of being unwelcoming if you don't sit there putting up with their nonsense. It's time they grew up. All three of them.
If you back off they will notice the difference and might just start respecting you more because you aren't pandering to them. It also takes you out of the whole 'competitive' equation.
I know how hard step parenting is, I'm a step mum and it's hard.
Keep strong! x

paulineb_2

I actually think the problem is as much with your husband than it is with his kids. You dont sound supported or listened to in the slightest.

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

I really do not understand why a 13 year old sitting on her dads lap would make anyone uncomfortable at all to be honest.

Totally agree. I am in my thirties, and I still sit on my Dad's lap, and we are very huggy and clown about, in other words, I'm a real Daddy's girl.

For the OP to suggest it is anything more than a dad and daughter relationship, is in my opinion weird and disgusting, and it comes across to me that she is jealous.

Georgiegirl256

skyrocket wrote: »

The daughter sitting on her dads lap is 16 and it isn't normal.
I come from a very huggy, tactile family and wouldn't have dreamed of sitting on my dads lap at 16.
x

Why on earth not? Why do people make it out to be something it's not, and that it is something sinister? To be honest, it says more about you.

skyrocket

I cuddle my dad and I would hold his hand in the street and we hug a lot thanks.
At 16 I was an awkward girl not quite a woman.
My daughter is 8 and I wouldn't think anything of her sitting on her dads lap or her step fathers lap.
At 16 you are developing and it's an odd behaviour, same as for a 16 year old boy to be sat on his mothers lap.
Nothing to do with me thanks. It's an odd thing for one thing down to the size of a 16 year old.

Jinx

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Totally agree. I am in my thirties, and I still sit on my Dad's lap, and we are very huggy and clown about, in other words, I'm a real Daddy's girl.

For the OP to suggest it is anything more than a dad and daughter relationship, is in my opinion weird and disgusting, and it comes across to me that she is jealous.

I'm 40 so not that much older than you and have never seen any of my peers sit on their dads knee at your age, even in tactile families.