Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

lostinrates

jamiefly wrote: »

I've not had a day off since my beautiful babies arrived in this world. Occasional nights down the pub, never a full day.

This is not quite in accordance with your thread on giving up work when your (presumably tiny) child became ill.

Though I do hope your daughter has made a full recovery.


Sure, you need to get the balance right, but if start from a skewed picture of when you have/haven't worked then you're bound to feel more hard done by. Though I fulLy agree, this sounds unbalanced.

However, I would say its pretty much what my female friends who are sta at home mothers and wives to corporate husbands describe and even sometimes how I feel ( put upon and unbalanced. though not unfairly in my case, in fact, quite the opposite in my case).

jamiefly wrote: »

I don't discuss those things and wouldn't do so not even on social media. I.e. my fb is very understated.

You 're doing it right now.

jamiefly

lostinrates wrote: »

This is not quite in accordance with your thread on giving up work when your (presumably tiny) child became ill.

Though I do hope your daughter has made a full recovery.


Sure, you need to get the balance right, but if start from a skewed picture of when you have/haven't worked then you're bound to feel more hard done by. Though I fulLy agree, this sounds unbalanced.

However, I would say its pretty much what my female friends who are sta at home mothers and wives to corporate husbands describe and even sometimes how I feel ( put upon and unbalanced. though not unfairly in my case, in fact, quite the opposite in my case).
.

You 're doing it right now.

Thank you. She's been seizure free for over two years now (and guilty secret my middle rate claim for DLA ceased in September). We are in a much better place. I love my family and at times thought we could lose our daughter. A week here and there spent living on the children's ward is no picnic

pukkamum

jamiefly wrote: »

We've done this is spades, we have four of those units in the playroom (64 pockets), a toy chest and book shelf and they are all overflowing (with toys) and that's just one room. We have those 'really useful boxes' under the bed too.

Then a ruthless clearout is definitely in order, 3 boxes keep, chuck, charity done once a month, maybe once a week for you!

victory

Some things I just can't work out.... If you have all this money you say you do, that could buy you help, house clearance help, cleaning help, all help that could free up your time to get your CV up and running , focusing on what you want to do....

Also is there really £400 worth of new toys that they don't have already to be able to buy off amazon or anywhere else per month? Toys come out in full force around Xmas or with a movie and they don't come out every month?

If your wife is such a high flyer where does she find the time to trawl the internet, day after day, looking for more toys?

victory

jamiefly wrote: »

Thank you. She's been seizure free for over two years now (and guilty secret my middle rate claim for DLA ceased in September). We are in a much better place. I love my family and at times thought we could lose our daughter. A week here and there spent living on the children's ward is no picnic

Why would you claim for DLA.? You keep saying how wealthy you are, entitled you maybe but morally would you take DLA when someone else a lot less fortunate than yourself needs it and you have said many times how terribly rich you are?

couponqueen123

jamiefly wrote: »

Nothing works. I tried telling her and suggested she print certificates for being good (free on-line) and breaking his collarbone was my fault obviously :rolleyes: for not supervising properly.

There are so many toys that sorting for charity/jumble sale woukd be a full time job in itself and I have one already, looking after a troublesome two year old at home.

If I could put pictures up of our play room, the living room and their respective bedrooms littered with toys you'd see why. The carpet fitter came round yesterday to quote too and I was so embarrassed (really, I hate mess).

pile it all in there and when the kids cant get in to play ask mum to sort it out;)

also why are u handing the toys over when they come(u dont have to;)) i would be getting them to sort and tidy old ones and then maybe give them but not 3 times a week:eek:

my kids ask me every day when is Christmas and there birthday is as they know they wont be getting anything til then (books sticker colours and arts n craft dont count as i love to do it so its a house hobby:o) if they save money i do let them spend it if we are going somewhere they want to

when they go shopping with there nanas they get something then but normally clothes they pick more often or not thou they just bake cakes etc

i think if u want this to stop just dont give the toys to them is the best way

FBaby

You do sound very much like the stereotype of the wealthy stay at home who instead of being able to appreciate how wonderful her life is, spend each day brewing resentment because in the end, they are still trapped by little children.

One thing you didn't mention is what was the agreement between you and your wife before you had children. If it was agreed and planned that she would maximise her career whilst you agree that staying at home with the children would suits you well, you can't resent her because you've decided that actually, it doesn't work so well for you.

You are extremely fortunate that you do have many choices to make in your life. If you so desperately want to get back to work, you can afford to employ a nanny and do so. No-one is dictating how your life should be. You can afford to have time off, to have a cleaner, to plan wonderful holidays. You have it good yet don't seem to be able to appreciate it.

jamiefly

victory wrote: »

Why would you claim for DLA.? You keep saying how wealthy you are, entitled you maybe but morally would you take DLA when someone else a lot less fortunate than yourself needs it and you have said many times how terribly rich you are?

Circumstances change. At the time my daughter was seriously ill and the NHS wouldn't do things like MRI scans as she was too young, my wife earned LESS and I gave up my job to look after her and thought I might need the money for private intervention (no anaesthetist in the whole of Europe was willing to put her under for an MRI as she way too young) if we found one privately that would have cost big money. This isn't your business but the drs had neuroblastoma on the list of possibles, as a parent wouldn't you want to find out straightaway.

David Cameron claims DLA for his son, it's entirely legitimate and we pay substantially more in income tax/ni contributions than the majority of PAYE.

jamiefly

victory wrote: »

Some things I just can't work out.... If you have all this money you say you do, that could buy you help, house clearance help, cleaning help, all help that could free up your time to get your CV up and running , focusing on what you want to do....

Also is there really £400 worth of new toys that they don't have already to be able to buy off amazon or anywhere else per month? Toys come out in full force around Xmas or with a movie and they don't come out every month?

If your wife is such a high flyer where does she find the time to trawl the internet, day after day, looking for more toys?

Hotels and airports. She spends alot of time in them. We are not wealthy, I have never said that.

we no longer claim chikd benefit, never had tax credits whatever they are and when I have been out of work I have never claimed anything other than contributions based JSA. My principles are sound.

lostinrates

jamiefly wrote: »

Circumstances change. At the time my daughter was seriously ill and the NHS wouldn't do things like MRI scans as she was too young, my wife earned LESS and I gave up my job to look after her and thought I might need the money for private intervention (no anaesthetist in the whole of Europe was willing to put her under for an MRI as she way too young) if we found one privately that would have cost big money. This isn't your business but the drs had neuroblastoma on the list of possibles, as a parent wouldn't you want to find out straightaway.

David Cameron claims DLA for his son, it's entirely legitimate and we pay substantially more in income tax/ni contributions than the majority of PAYE.

You are right, it is legitimate.

Not all of us who could be entitled claim on moral grounds, but people are entitled to have different moral and political views.


I would just say private MRI scans, at least for adults are not that expensive. Certainly A fraction of your car!

( edit....auto correct going potty)