Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

*Louise*

But that was three years ago wasn't it?

I hope she is doing better now, I'm assuming she is since she is now at school?

jamiefly

*Louise* wrote: »

But that was three years ago wasn't it?

I hope she is doing better now, I'm assuming she is since she is now at school?

Yes she is so much better... miracles of children. Off meds for a long time and thriving... THRIVING at school.

thanks for your compassionate post.

meer53

"I can read signals otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now (marriage and good friends).

OP, you clearly CANNOT read "signals"

My view on this is, your marriage will not last and your children will end up as spolit brats unless you change your ways. Both of you.

You need to man up and sit down with your wife and tell her how unhappy you are. She clearly doesn't realise this. She's treating you like a doormat, why are you allowing it ? Because you like the lifestyle ? It certainly sounds that way.

Children need your time and attention, not toys or money, do as other posters have said, get rid of the toys, do whatever you like with them but just get rid of them.

My ex husband used to throw money at our daughter when she was small. He worked away too, thought he could make up for it by buying the latest gadgets. She's now old enough to realise why he did it, she no longer wants to spend time with him, she prefers being at home with me, spending time together. Is that what you want your children to be like ?

Do something, before it's too late.

victory

jamiefly wrote: »

This isn't your business but the drs had neuroblastoma on the list of possibles, as a parent wouldn't you want to find out straightaway.

You really don't come across as a nice person. You put up a thread on a public forum under a ruse of toys, toys, toys and now a lot more comes out, people ask questions and you react badly .

victory

jamiefly wrote: »

I come from a very wealthy background, my great grandparents were very wealthy, grandparents less so (old money usually causes problems further down the line (gambling on my fathers side and failed businesses) material things do not interest me I long for a simple, modest life and married a clever girl but never seriously thought she'd climb so high and fast I'd have prefered it if she hadn't to be honest.

You said wealthy here, post 58 boasting about your expensive car, there is no way you needed to claim DLA

whitewing

Could you give some of the new toys to the local hospital?

claire16c

I don't really understand the point of the post.

In the time you've been on here you could have got the password, logged into the account & cancelled any orders.

Boxed up anything you don't want & have it ready to take to a charity shop tomorrow.

Georgiegirl256

You say that people haven't offered you any advice, but they have. They've given you advice in regards to the topic in question which is "toys, toys, toys", oh, and "anxiety"....which stems from said toys. You obviously just didn't like the sound of the advice offered. The problem in your relationship actually seems to stem much deeper than toys. If you'd have titled your post something different, then in turn you would have got different advice accordingly.

We've all had it (and still have it) hard at one time or another, but you really do gave a bad case of 'woe is me'!

thorsoak

My suggestion to the problem of toys arriving every day? Contact Womens Aid, find out an address to which things may be directed, then print out a couple of dozen labels - as each parcel arrives, slap a redirection label on it - and hand it back to the courier.

That way, you will stop more toys coming into the house. In the meantime, why not employ a cleaner, to clean the house whilst you play with the children - just a few hours a week.

GobbledyGook

Are you at the point where you can speak to your wife about this without it turning into WWIII?

Would she compromise to sending the children something once a month or a fortnight? Say as part of a reward chart system?

Does she realise that an average of £300 a month is £3600 a year and the children would appreciate that kind of cash MUCH better when they are at college or university and accumulating debt for living expenses?



If you are going to be using childcare (is there no way that can start sooner?) then you can, in the early days, use that as your chance to sort the house out. Once you're sorted the time becomes yours and you have a tidy house.

Each time your LO is at children take 10 boxes into your room (I'd do a few boxes per night as well just to get it over with). Sort through them and bin anything broken/not all there. Have a few boxes to keep and a few that are things that are to go to charity or freecycle. Don't put them back in the playroom. They don't need them so can wait until they're all sorted/almost all sorted.

After a few days/couple of weeks all of the toys will be sorted and you can put them all back in the playroom with your new playroom rules = 1 box out at a time, everything tidied away before dinner then again before bed by the children. If toys leave the playroom it's 1 toy and it goes back before anything else comes out. Labelling the boxes will help keep 'bits' together as well. It's much easier to find the bit of the barbie jigsaw if all of the jigsaws are in the one box.

Reward sticker/star/tick each night for tidiness and a reward toy after so many stickers (I wouldn't do toys, but if your oH really won't stop buying it might as well be productive). You might even be able to steer your wife to things that the children will use.

If you call a charity like Women's Aid or a children's hospice they'll gladly come and collect the toys you don't want.