Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

springdreams

jamiefly wrote: »

I've not had a day off since my beautiful babies arrived in this world. Occasional nights down the pub, never a full day.

Use some of the money that you are squirreling away, and pay for some child care once or twice a week. You can then use some of the time for some R&R time for yourself, and some of it to get the toys under control.

Also, if you have so much spare money available, get a cleaner in once a week to help get things under control.

pukkamum

My practical advice is head to ikea and get some expedit units with fabric boxes, they hold loads so toy sets can be kept together and they make tidying a breeze.

As far as the relationship dynamics go, only you can decide if you are happy to have your needs, wants and or opinions disregarded by your wife.
If my husband treated me the way it seems your wife is treating you he would feel my wrath!

Is it possible she has lost some respect for you now you are a sahd?
Do you feel she has?

I must admit I too find many toddler groups are filled with women having banal conversations about nappies, washing powder etc but I just nod and smile and don't expect to be best friends with them.

jamiefly

springdreams wrote: »

Use some of the money that you are squirreling away, and pay for some child care once or twice a week. You can then use some of the time for some R&R time for yourself, and some of it to get the toys under control.

Also, if you have so much spare money available, get a cleaner in once a week to help get things under control.

This is about to happen. 1 day a week from next Friday and Thursdays and Fridays next financial year (April).

Re. the cleaner, my mum came to do a mum clean leaving after lunch and already the place is a mess. As I said before too many toys maketh a mess. I can and do clean (it's a clean house just messy).

jamiefly

pukkamum wrote: »

My practical advice is head to ikea and get some expedit units with fabric boxes, they hold loads so toy sets can be kept together and they make tidying a breeze.

We've done this is spades, we have four of those units in the playroom (64 pockets), a toy chest and book shelf and they are all overflowing (with toys) and that's just one room. We have those 'really useful boxes' under the bed too.

GobbledyGook

Like I said in my long post to you - you need to decide what you want to do.

Other than complain about it what do you want?

Do you want to go out to work? Do you want a showdown with your wife? Do you want some time to yourself?

Or do you just want a moan (fairly justifiably by the sound of it) and then go on as normal?

pukkamum

jamiefly wrote: »

This is about to happen. 1 day a week from next Friday and Thursdays and Fridays next financial year (April).

Re. the cleaner, my mum came to do a mum clean leaving after lunch and already the place is a mess. As I said before too many toys maketh a mess. I can and do clean (it's a clean house just messy).

I have started restricting toys to one set of toys out per day.
When there are loads of toys out kids quickly lose interest so I rotate them weekly with rest put out of reach, I find they will play longer that way.

As for the mess, well a house with a toddler will always have toy mess, I have 2 key tidying times, before lunch and before dinner rather than letting it build and dealing with it all when shattered in the evening.

Hermia

jamiefly wrote: »

And this post isn't judgemental? Posh people? Pot kettle black!

I have a cut accent this doesn't change who I am and who my friends are from all walks of life and they see through the 'plums in my mouth'. I am very generous in time, help and money and don't expect anything in return other than trust and friendship. People being rude to me are people being rude to me no matter where they are from. I can read signals otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now (marriage and good friends).

I myself am nearer the posher end of the scale, but still say the I find I have been less judged by the cor blimey types than people of my own class and my 'betters' (!). IME there seems an obsession amongst the better off to know your salary, job title, what school you went to, which postcode you live in etc. i haven't experience that as much with anyone else.

puppypants

Do you have a room that could become a dedicated playroom? Shove it all in there and keep the rest of the house tidyish? :-)

paulineb_2

jamiefly wrote: »

And this post isn't judgemental? Posh people? Pot kettle black!

I have a cut accent this doesn't change who I am and who my friends are from all walks of life and they see through the 'plums in my mouth'. I am very generous in time, help and money and don't expect anything in return other than trust and friendship. People being rude to me are people being rude to me no matter where they are from. I can read signals otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now (marriage and good friends).

Your marriage doesnt sound the happiest from what youve posted earlier

jamiefly

puppypants wrote: »

Do you have a room that could become a dedicated playroom? Shove it all in there and keep the rest of the house tidyish? :-)

We have a dedicated play room. Filled to the brim (64 ikea boxes, toy chest and shelves) and overflowing to other parts of the house.