Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

Person_one

jamiefly wrote: »

I have no issue with what was said it was in the manner and tone to which I took offence to. At the risk of sounding stereotypical they were invariably out of work mums (never had a career to leave) and not pretty on the eye (statement not judgement). All the mums I stayed in touch with were by definition physically attractive and have professions like teaching, corporate and accountancy.

Of course, I expected no less.

jamiefly

Katem wrote: »

Just out of interest, what would YOU like to talk about? How unreasonable your wife is for providing you with a £45k car and the means to stay at home and look after your kids? (something that loads of mums would love).

Good luck with that one at toddler group!

I don't discuss those things and wouldn't do so not even on social media. I.e. my fb is very understated.

GobbledyGook

jamiefly wrote: »

I have no issue with what was said it was in the manner and tone to which I took offence to. At the risk of sounding stereotypical they were invariably out of work mums (never had a career to leave) and not pretty on the eye (statement not judgement). All the mums I stayed in touch with were by definition physically attractive and have professions like teaching, corporate and accountancy.

You've pretty much just lost me with the 'not pretty on the eye' comment.

What does that matter?

Same with the career. I've never had a career to leave. That's because I gave mine up to support my OH in his and be there for our children. Doesn't mean I'm thick, unambitious or not worth keeping in touch with.

It means I put the good of my family before my career aspirations. A bit like yourself.

paulineb_2

jamiefly wrote: »

No that's not the case at all. People are only to quick to criticise and have others drive the point home. Flattering each other liking posts that have offer no help to me at all. I've stumbled across a bunch of munsnetters.

Caroline thank you for the considerate post.

My life involves looking after my children and being hosed down with lots and lots of money every month and an even bigger jackpot come April (bonus time I get half net pay) I tell her I want balance and she threatens to quit her job and work in Sainsbury's (itself a stressful job). She keeps telling me how lucky I am (typing this sitting in my twelve month old £37k sports car which I am changing next week for a more practical £45k big car next week). Does not stop me crying a lot. It's miserable.

You actually havent stumbled across a bunch of mumsnetters.

As I said before when people on this forum are in real trouble, even if people dont always agree or get on, what I see is a lot of posters stepping up to the plate to try and offer support. The problem is, some people arent in a position where they want to take it, perhaps because they are in denial about how bad things are for them (and thats reality, it can be hard to see things as other people who arent involved see them).

Right now, all I see is you making judgements about people who dont agree with everything youve said and you are now making judgements about posters on here, without knowing anything about them.

jamiefly

GobbledyGook wrote: »

You've pretty much just lost me with the 'not pretty on the eye' comment.

What does that matter?

Same with the career. I've never had a career to leave. That's because I gave mine up to support my OH in his and be there for our children. Doesn't mean I'm thick, unambitious or not worth keeping in touch with.

It means I put the good of my family before my career aspirations. A bit like yourself.

By accident or design I have ended up with a circle/network of mums who are pretty. I did not go out of my way to befriend them it's just the other subset put up a wall.

balletshoes

jamiefly wrote: »

Yes. Stretch marks, incontinence saggy boobs, I could go on.

woah - seriously? you'd have a really rough time in my workplace then (2/3rds women, 1/3rd men in my immediate office) - and we regularly discuss stuff like that (and the men get an education into the bargain ).

jamiefly

paulineb wrote: »

You actually havent stumbled across a bunch of mumsnetters.

erhh! es I think I have and that is just my opinion you are entitled to disagree.

GobbledyGook

jamiefly wrote: »

By accident or design I have ended up with a circle/network of mums who are pretty. I did not go out of my way to befriend them it's just the other subset put up a wall.

Then why not describe them as 'like minded' or 'with similar interests'.

The 'other subset' could probably sense your judgemental thoughts about their lack of career and looks. I find judgemental folks tend to give themselves away quite quickly.

jamiefly

balletshoes wrote: »

woah - seriously? you'd have a really rough time in my workplace then (2/3rds women, 1/3rd men in my immediate office) - and we regularly discuss stuff like that (and the men get an education into the bargain ).

It not the content but the presentation that offended. Short of telling me to **** off couldn't be any clearer. Anyway got to go.

Katem

Jamie I think you have to decide what you want from this thread. Sympathy (fine, sometimes we all need someone to say yes, you're having a !!!! time) or solutions (get up and get on sort of thing)

My feeling is that you need people to sympathise and say how awful your situation is and therefore you're ignoring all solutions because you want someone to be on your side. You don't need solutions, because all of the solutions to this situation aren't exactly rocket science.

Take control of your problem. See exactly what's behind it, and address those things rather than dealing with the surface stuff. Then I think you'll find the problem of toys disappears.

And FTR if you and she continue to shower the kids with STUFF, they're going to be a nightmare to keep happy when they are older.