Weddings - evening invite

System

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

If this were really a good friend, I'd be a bit offended actually.

Unless there's a good reason, I'd feel like I was just being invited out of politeness or to make up numbers and fill out a church or room. They only want me at a distance, as part of a crowd and don't want me enough to put their hands in their pockets.

In their defence space is limited and I had told them previously that if they were short of room they could relegate me to the evening and I wouldn't be offended. I just didn't know what to do about the actual service as it's a pain to go to that and then go home and then go back over again.

It's also the same day as city v Southampton which is right in the middle of the event

kerri_gt

goater78 wrote: »

Cheers. That's ok then. They're all a bit touchy about things like this so just wanted to check I wasn't a bad seed by only doing the evening do.

The wedding is only about 20 miles away but I had plans in the afternoon that I had arranged because I knew I was evening invite only. They've just thrown the church in as well on the invite which took me by surprise!

Well if you already have plans that afternoon, you have a genuine reason for not making the church anyway.

thorsoak

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Well I have to admit, I have never heard of all and sundry going to a wedding at Church. I am familiar only with people invited to the wedding turning up. Why would people go if not invited? I know the Church is a 'public' place, but I wouldn't dream of going to a Church wedding that I had not been invited to. How odd.

Re: the OP. I would also be offended at what this person has done... Why have they not invited you to everything? Have to say also that I think wedding, reception, night-do. Jeeeez, what a load of fuss and expense. Why so much? What a long, boring day. (Would be for me anyway!)

When we got married nearly 20 years ago, we had the wedding with very close friends and immediate family, (about 30-35 people,) and they ALL came to the reception, which was in a local pub at a tenner a head (was 20 years ago though, so may be £20-£25 a head now.)

If it were me, I would not go to either one. If I had to pick one, it would be the night-do. Most Church weddings are pretty boring.

I suppose it depends upon priorities ....watching (and supporting) friends when they take the most important vows of their lives ....or having a knees-up/get plastered at the expense of someone else!

System

kerri_gt wrote: »

Well if you already have plans that afternoon, you have a genuine reason for not making the church anyway.

The slightly difficult issue is I've got my eye on his city season ticket for a different mate. I'm yet to bring this up

Soleil_lune

thorsoak wrote: »

Whooo! I had absolutely no idea that manners have changed so much over the past 25 years - let alone 50 years!


We had a wedding announcement in the paper, on the Friday before with the "all friends are welcome at the church at 12 noon" etc etc - and actually 50 years ago, it was the norm for the bride and groom to leave to go on honeymoon after the wedding breakfast, leaving families and friends to split into the various "clans" and carry on celebrating as they wanted.

When our daughter married, nearly 25 years ago, we had various people who wanted to know which church they were being married in, at what time, etc etc - and they attended the church. The evening reception included lots of their work friends and cousins' cousins etc. The venue could accommodate a larger number in the evening at a buffet-style reception, whilst the afternoon "sit down" could obviously only accommodate less.

Who had most fun? Who's counting? The elderly aunties who were thrilled to see a great niece married, and to meet up with nephews and nieces not seen since the last funeral - or the friends who whooped it up through the evening? They all enjoyed it in their own way - and who is to say which was most correct?

Personally, I loved the fact that old neighbours turned out to see "little maggie getting wed" - and the "ooh - good luck, luvvie - he looks a smashing chap" comments!

Wedding breakfast? :undecided This is DEFINATELY all foreign and alien to me.

The couple get married at 8am, having breakfast and then pop off onto their honeymoon. Whilst every single person in the rest of the town who knew of the bride's existence, celebrates from breakfast til midnight without the married couple there.

I have never heard of this in my life.

Gloomendoom

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Well I have to admit, I have never heard of all and sundry going to a wedding at Church. I am familiar only with people invited to the wedding turning up. Why would people go if not invited? I know the Church is a 'public' place, but I wouldn't dream of going to a Church wedding that I had not been invited to. How odd.

It's not that a church is a public place, it more that a wedding is a public event. Church, registry office or wherever, it makes no difference. Anybody can attend.

After all, somebody might have reason to object.

Buzzybee90

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Wedding breakfast? :undecided This is DEFINATELY all foreign and alien to me.

The couple get married at 8am, having breakfast and then pop off onto their honeymoon. Whilst every single person in the rest of the town who knew of the bride's existence, celebrates from breakfast til midnight without the married couple there.

I have never heard of this in my life.

I'm pretty sure it's widely known as the wedding breakfast... Or isn't it?

Edit: wedding breakfast is the meal.

Gloomendoom

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Wedding breakfast? :undecided This is DEFINATELY all foreign and alien to me.

The couple get married at 8am, having breakfast and then pop off onto their honeymoon. Whilst every single person in the rest of the town who knew of the bride's existence, celebrates from breakfast til midnight without the married couple there.

I have never heard of this in my life.

Judging from your last two posts, you must have led a very sheltered life!

GobbledyGook

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Wedding breakfast? :undecided This is DEFINATELY all foreign and alien to me.

The couple get married at 8am, having breakfast and then pop off onto their honeymoon. Whilst every single person in the rest of the town who knew of the bride's existence, celebrates from breakfast til midnight without the married couple there.

I have never heard of this in my life.

The wedding breakfast is just the meal after the wedding. The first meal as a married couple hence the breakfast terminology.

notanewuser

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Wedding breakfast? :undecided This is DEFINATELY all foreign and alien to me.

The couple get married at 8am, having breakfast and then pop off onto their honeymoon. Whilst every single person in the rest of the town who knew of the bride's existence, celebrates from breakfast til midnight without the married couple there.

I have never heard of this in my life.

The wedding breakfast isn't literally breakfast!!! :rotfl:

It's the first meal after the wedding. Quite usual for the bride and groom to leave before the party finishes.