Weddings - evening invite

Torry_Quine

I don't see a problem with just going to the evening reception as I presume you are some distance so would have to fill in the time.

However I see no problem with telling evening guests that they are welcome to the service. This is nothing new and was less problematic when guests were local

daisiegg

We actually had quite a lot of evening only guests turn up to the church as well. We hadn't 'invited' them officially but I think we had made it clear they would be welcome to the church if they wanted to, though we didn't expect them. They were all local, friends and neighbours of my parents, and obviously wanted to see the ceremony. We were touched and thrilled that they did.

We did not expect evening guests to attend the ceremony - we were delighted that some did, but were not remotely close to being a tiny bit offended that some didn't. I don't think it is rude to invite you to the ceremony and the evening (perhaps a bit different as it is in a church - I think it would be a different scenario if it wasn't a church) but I equally don't think it is at all rude for you not to go to the ceremony.

System

Cheers. That's ok then. They're all a bit touchy about things like this so just wanted to check I wasn't a bad seed by only doing the evening do.

The wedding is only about 20 miles away but I had plans in the afternoon that I had arranged because I knew I was evening invite only. They've just thrown the church in as well on the invite which took me by surprise!

poet123

It used to be very common for all and sundry to go to watch weddings whether or not they had been invited to the evening "do" or not. You wouldn't dress as if you had been invited, just in normal clothing and sit at the back of church or even just watch the bride arrive.

I assume the OP lives local so would (if they wished) go along to church in everyday clothes watch the ceremony then go home, carry on with their day and go off the the evening reception. I would think it was just something designed to make everyone feel welcome whether or not they had a full day invite.

After all, money is finite and you have to limit all day invitations. I don't think it is rude.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

It used to be very common for all and sundry to go to watch weddings whether or not they had been invited to the evening "do" or not. You wouldn't dress as if you had been invited, just in normal clothing and sit at the back of church or even just watch the bride arrive.

I assume the OP lives local so would (if they wished) go along to church in everyday clothes watch the ceremony then go home, carry on with their day and go off the the evening reception. I would think it was just something designed to make everyone feel welcome whether or not they had a full day invite.

After all, money is finite and you have to limit all day invitations. I don't think it is rude.

Well, that's why there's no need for an invite, which creates the awkwardness of saying yes to one bit but no to the other! Being an 'invited guest' might make the OP feel they had to dress up, or take a bigger present too.

MrsE_2

poet123 wrote: »

It used to be very common for all and sundry to go to watch weddings whether or not they had been invited to the evening "do" or not. You wouldn't dress as if you had been invited, just in normal clothing and sit at the back of church or even just watch the bride arrive.

I assume the OP lives local so would (if they wished) go along to church in everyday clothes watch the ceremony then go home, carry on with their day and go off the the evening reception. I would think it was just something designed to make everyone feel welcome whether or not they had a full day invite.

After all, money is finite and you have to limit all day invitations. I don't think it is rude.

What about evening only invites that dont include a plus one?
I'm pretty sure its a paying bar too, so its not that.

daisiegg

MrsE wrote: »

What about evening only invites that dont include a plus one?
I'm pretty sure its a paying bar too, so its not that.

Evenings usually have some sort of food (often a buffet) and that is paid for by head? If that is not the case, though, then I have no idea why they would not invite plus ones to the evening.

itsanne

poet123 wrote: »

It used to be very common for all and sundry to go to watch weddings

I know someone who goes to funerals :eek:. She likes to go to church every day, so if a funeral mass is on at a convenient time she just goes to that. She doesn't see anything odd about it. I find it very strange!

poet123

MrsE wrote: »

What about evening only invites that dont include a plus one?
I'm pretty sure its a paying bar too, so its not that.

I can only tell you about a wedding I am going to in March and why they haven't done plus one. It is in a marquee with a limit on numbers and so only those who are close to the couple have been invited. If they are single, or if the partner is not known to the couple (and they are part of a group; workmates, uni friends etc) they have not done a plus one.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I can only tell you about a wedding I am going to in March and why they haven't done plus one. It is in a marquee with a limit on numbers and so only those who are close to the couple have been invited. If they are single, or if the partner is not known to the couple (and they are part of a group; workmates, uni friends etc) they have not done a plus one.

Even for people who are married, engaged, or living with a partner?