Weddings - evening invite

Gloomendoom

pukkamum wrote: »

I think given we are on a moneysaving site it would have been poor form to spend money I didn't have getting into debt feeding friends who were just happy to see me get wed.

My wedding was about my husband and, I couldn't have cared less if we were the only people at the ceremony, my friends knew how tight our budget was.
In fact many expressed relief at not having to sit through speeches etc and said it was the best wedding they'd been too, especially the evening buffet of pastie and peas.

I'm hungry.

I think, generally, people appreciate something a little different now and then.

catkins

I got married at 10am in a register office with only close relatives there.


We then had an evening reception starting I think (it was a long time ago) about 7pm which we invited other relatives and friends to.


I know lots of people who got married and did exactly the same. The whole day thing just seems silly and expensive to me but that's not why me and OH didn't do it. We just didn't think it was a normal thing to do at the time.


What our relatives did between those hours I am not sure. I think they went back to my parents' house.


OH was fixing his car which chose that morning to break down in order that we could drive to our honeymoon destination and I was keeping him company

Gloomendoom

catkins wrote: »

I know lots of people who got married and did exactly the same. The whole day thing just seems silly and expensive to me but that's not why me and OH didn't do it. We just didn't think it was a normal thing to do at the time.

i suppose it does depend on your definition of what is silly.

We did all day. We didn't regard it as silly and it didn't break the bank because we budgeted accordingly. Most of our guests had travelled a long way to attend, from as far afield as Australia, so it seemed only polite to offer them refreshment.

poet123

I think it is quite unusual to have a morning wedding with an evening do but nothing in between I have never been to a wedding like that and due to the ages of my kids and my friends kids I seem to be going to droves of them lately.

I went to four last year (and turned down two more) and I have one in Feb and one in March this year.

Lavendyr

We had a 2.30pm wedding. We invited people to the church if they wanted to come and the evening do. That was mainly local friends, though, for whom it wasn't really an imposition.

I completely disagree that it's bad manners. The wedding itself is surely THE most important bit of the day!? That just shows they want you to be part of that important bit. But totally up to you if you do or don't go. Why be offended? Life's too short.

catkins

poet123 wrote: »

I think it is quite unusual to have a morning wedding with an evening do but nothing in between I have never been to a wedding like that and due to the ages of my kids and my friends kids I seem to be going to droves of them lately.

I went to four last year (and turned down two more) and I have one in Feb and one in March this year.

I got married over 30 years ago and it seemed to be the done thing then.


Me and OH wanted the register office wedding with just immediate family and a couple of close friends and then to go for a meal.


His mother said this wasn't the done thing and that we should be having an evening reception so all other family and friends could come.


She was (still is) extremely bossy, I was shy and didn't like arguments so went along with her.


If I could go back in time I would do it the way me and OH wanted and tell his bossy interfering horrible mother to get lost

Mojisola

catkins wrote: »

I got married over 30 years ago and it seemed to be the done thing then.

Me and OH wanted the register office wedding with just immediate family and a couple of close friends and then to go for a meal.

His mother said this wasn't the done thing and that we should be having an evening reception so all other family and friends could come.

I think it depended more on what individuals thought was the done thing.

We were married 30+ years ago and had the church, a restaurant meal and an afternoon in the garden. Everyone had a lovely time and no-one commented that we were doing it "wrong"!

poet123

I was married over 30 years ago too, and I did what what seemed to be the norm then.

We married in church at 1pm, went to a local stately home for a sit down meal for 80 guests, that carried on till the evening when we had a disco and buffet and our evening guests arrived taking the number to around 130. All of my friends did very similar things, and that is the format of all the weddings I have ever attended.

thorsoak

Wedding customs probably changed from area to area, and a lot would depend upon the bridal couple's honeymoon plans. In the 1950s the favoured honeymoon venue would be London - and the further from London, the earlier the wedding, in order to catch the train to London!

Philip Larkin wrote about this - see http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=7108

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I was married over 30 years ago too, and I did what what seemed to be the norm then.

We married in church at 1pm, went to a local stately home for a sit down meal for 80 guests, that carried on till the evening when we had a disco and buffet and our evening guests arrived taking the number to around 130. All of my friends did very similar things, and that is the format of all the weddings I have ever attended.

That's been the format for most weddings I've been to as well, with a few exceptions for smaller ones. Service, then formal day reception for closer friends and family, then less formal evening reception with some added guests.

I have to say though, I like the American tradition of having the ceremony later in the evening and everybody getting straight in to the reception.