Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

*max*

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks. He was in a FOUL mood last weekend and I thought it might change his mind so I gave in. Didn't work.

Yes I could have worn the ring out of the sop, but the point is, he wouldn't let me.

I told him an hour ago to grow some balls and tell me the truth if he doesn't want to get married. I've made it very clear how miserable he is making me. I just think he's not taking me seriously.

Wow..... I'm thinking you might be desperate for a wedding, but you're not quite ready for a marriage!

AcidHouse

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks. He was in a FOUL mood last weekend and I thought it might change his mind so I gave in. Didn't work.

Yes I could have worn the ring out of the sop, but the point is, he wouldn't let me.

I told him an hour ago to grow some balls and tell me the truth if he doesn't want to get married. I've made it very clear how miserable he is making me. I just think he's not taking me seriously.

^^Has he answered your question from an hour ago yet OP or is he still on the sofa scratching his b*lls? How he reacts in the next 24 hours will say a lot about him to you.

Milliebob

Ok everyone chill out about the sex thing, it was true that we didn't do it for six weeks but it was because I'd run out of the contraceptive pill. That was just meant to be a light hearted lift the mood statement.

paulineb_2

Milliebob wrote: »

But my point is- why buy the ring then?! Why not jut move me on away from that window?

Also he's never planned a thing in his life, he can't think an hour ahead never mind three months. He definitely does not have a plan. He said on Boxing Day he was going to do it on Christmas Day but couldn't be bothered with all the fuss. Eh?!

Why did you not think of all of this before you had kids with him? You want a wedding, hes more reluctant and its important to you that things change. Youve said you thought marriage was important to him, how did you come to that conclusion? Did you have discussions early on where he made it clear getting married was as important to him as it seems to be to you.

Milliebob

AcidHouse wrote: »

^^Has he answered your question from an hour ago yet OP or is he still on the sofa scratching his b*lls? How he reacts in the next 24 hours will say a lot about him to you.

He was playing on his XBox at the time and didnt even look up. He still is in fact, so again, he won't be taking me seriously.

marleyboy

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's interesting to hear the male perspective marleyboy, but I don't want a fella who refuses to discuss things with me, who doesn't take me seriously when I say I'm upset and confused and, worst of all, thinks Valentines Day is a suitable day to propose. Of all the unoriginal cliched days he could have chosen....

On a more serious note, why are women 'pushy' if they say 'Remember that ring you bought me? Where is it and does it mean we're going to get married?'. Seems a totally reasonable thing to want to know IMO. Why should women keep quiet and not 'push' men? He's bought a ring. She was there! Now three months later she wants to know what the score is but she has to keep her gob shut and 'respect' him. Aarrggghhh.

Not sure I would look at it as keeping her gob shut, a woman scorned maybe would look at it like that.

Its called fairness and equality, you should give it a try sometime.

There is nothing to stop OP buying a ring and proposing to HIM is there? I guess some people choose get married because they WANT to, rather than thinking its not relevant to love, some people like the idea of Valantines Day and Romantic moments, whether or not you do.

Blackpool_Saver

I couldn't be assed with the whole set up to be honest. Separate NOW before the horrible atmosphere affects the child.

paulineb_2

Milliebob wrote: »

He was playing on his XBox at the time and didnt even look up. He still is in fact, so again, he won't be taking me seriously.

I think you and he seem to have some communication problems going on and maybe the right thing isnt that he puts a ring on your finger at the moment. You dont sound as if you are happy, why would you think that putting a ring on your finger would change things, a ring isnt a quick fix for everything thats wrong with the relationship.

marisco_2

You should only agree to marry someone when you feel 100% happy and secure within your relationship with them. I don't get the impression that you really feel that way at all. Being proposed to, wearing a ring and getting married will not actually do anything to improve the relationship you two share together. Nor will it make your family any more real. I hate to say it but considering what you have shared with us on this thread, a proposal would just paper over severe cracks for a short while.

paulineb_2

Also did you have these marriage conversations before you had a child together?

How many times over the years have you spoken about marriage? I mean together, not in a someone else has just got wed and I wish it were me conversation?