Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

globetraveller

I understand why you are fed up. Why buy a ring months before you intend to give it? Surely the time to buy the ring together is when he is about to propose? Sounds a bit ridiculous that he is refusing to give you the ring now. Perhaps its just a typical man- not thinking it all through.

paulineb_2

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks. He was in a FOUL mood last weekend and I thought it might change his mind so I gave in. Didn't work.

Yes I could have worn the ring out of the sop, but the point is, he wouldn't let me.

I told him an hour ago to grow some balls and tell me the truth if he doesn't want to get married. I've made it very clear how miserable he is making me. I just think he's not taking me seriously.

Perhaps you should both have a rethink on getting married full stop.

I dont think refusing to have sex with someone until you get the ring and then sleeping with them again in the hope that they will is the way to deal with it either.

You are just going to be building up resentment on both sides, hardly the best start to being engaged.

Georgiegirl256

paulineb wrote: »

I think the fact that youve said about finally getting your happy ending by getting the ring speaks volumes. Youve been with this man 4 years, you have a child together, but the happy ending is having the same name as your son?

What about having the same name as your bf? Some people are keen to be married, but others arent so keen. It doesnt necessarily mean that they dont love their partner, it could be 1001 different reasons as to why.

Its not the engagement ring thats going to make you happier, its the wedding. If he puts the ring on your finger tomorrow, you are still going to have to make plans to get married.

The more you make a big deal of it, well, look at it from his point of view. You bought the ring, he was planning to propose and then you started asking him when you would get the ring. If you had said nothing, he could have given you the ring ten times over.

Thats not power games as far as Im concerned, thats not trusting your partner enough to give you something special that hes bought you without having to ask for it.

He'll have his view and you'll have yours. I think its time for some honest talking and I dont think its worth falling into depression over.

I think you've totally hit the nail on the head there Pauline.

AcidHouse

Milliebob wrote: »

AcidHouse I totally understand what you're saying, and I've thought it seriously myself. I admit I do love weddings and the excitement of it all, but at the end of the day I just want to be Mrs whatshisname, be HIS wife and grow old together with lots of children and grandchildren around us.
We were in Vegas in October and everyday we talked about going to the drive thru and surprising everyone when we got back. If would have loved that. Guess who vetoed it. The day we got home he said he wished we'd just done it.

Thanks for the above - I've read your other posts and I'm surprised to see the wedding has been 'planned' without an engagement or a date set to be married. Did you do most of the planning? Does he feel like he is being dragged up the isle?

Anyway it's done now - Just take the bull by the horns and ask him if he actually does want to marry you or not. If it's making you feel so down about life, you need to act on this asap.

DaveTheMus

It's all me, me, me, me, me..........


There are two people involved in a proposal and a marriage you know.....What if he wants to make a big deal of it and saving up to take you to a nice restaurant or something?

Do his feelings not come into it?

LannieDuck

You could always propose to him?

themull1

you say you're in your late twenties? are you sure you don't mean early teens?

AcidHouse

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks. He was in a FOUL mood last weekend and I thought it might change his mind so I gave in. Didn't work.

Yes I could have worn the ring out of the sop, but the point is, he wouldn't let me.

I told him an hour ago to grow some balls and tell me the truth if he doesn't want to get married. I've made it very clear how miserable he is making me. I just think he's not taking me seriously.

I wouldn't propose to someone who hadn't put out for six weeks, because there's obviously a problem there.

We keep on playing those power games together...

Tigsteroonie

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks.

Could be that he's now having second thoughts :eek:

Milliebob

DaveTheMus wrote: »

It's all me, me, me, me, me..........


There are two people involved in a proposal and a marriage you know.....What if he wants to make a big deal of it and saving up to take you to a nice restaurant or something?

Do his feelings not come into it?

But my point is- why buy the ring then?! Why not jut move me on away from that window?

Also he's never planned a thing in his life, he can't think an hour ahead never mind three months. He definitely does not have a plan. He said on Boxing Day he was going to do it on Christmas Day but couldn't be bothered with all the fuss. Eh?!