Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

Georgiegirl256

barbiedoll wrote: »

Oh god, take the ring out from under the sink and start wearing it!

Either he wants to marry you, in which case you are entitled to the ring.

Or he doesn't, in which case, you are entitled to the ring

(AFAIK, if it was a "gift" and was bought specifically for you, in your presence, to fit your finger, it's yours!)

Either way, you'll be wearing a nice, shiny diamond. What's not to love?

Personally, I wouldn't want to wear a ring that has caused so much heartache, unless it was given to me as intended. It wouldn't feel special and she'd be inundated with 20 questions.

I have nice shiny diamonds but I hardly wear them, I'm not a big jewellery fan....I realise I must be a let down to womankind!

Pollycat

It might be just the way I'm looking at things but I think there are 2 issues here:

1. getting married
2. the ring

The OP seems to be expecting a proposal like in the 'olden days' but I'd have thought that after being together for 4 years and having had a child together, marriage would be something that would be discussed between both parties.

Or maybe I'm just not a romantic.

The OP said early on in this thread that the whole wedding has been planned (although he won't commit to a date) so I can't quite understand the massive importance being placed on this engagement ring.

I do sympathise with the OP over this. I don't think her partner has been very nice about the whole sad incident.

I do think if it were me though I'd be having a 'just how serious are you about us as a couple?' type of discussion with him.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I have nice shiny diamonds but I hardly wear them, I'm not a big jewellery fan....I realise I must be a let down to womankind!

Shame on you, lady. :rotfl:;)

paulineb_2

From other posts the OP has posted on the boards, it very much looks like she is keener than he is to get married.

I think they need to have another talk, either there's an engagement soon, go on as they are, or decide whether they want to stay together long term if their views on marriage are poles apart.

Saturnalia

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Personally, I wouldn't want to wear a ring that has caused so much heartache, unless it was given to me as intended. It wouldn't feel special and she'd be inundated with 20 questions.

I have nice shiny diamonds but I hardly wear them, I'm not a big jewellery fan....I realise I must be a let down to womankind!

Yes, I'd feel the same. It would have to rival the Koh-i-noor for me to ever want to clap eyes on the thing again! :rotfl:

Vikipollard

OP, just a question - has he actually paid for the ring yet?


He apparently didn't think the finance would be approved, so I wonder if he can't afford it and is expecting to have to give it back?


To me, everything shrieks he doesn't want to get married. Series of excuses about 'going to do it' always after the event. What's it been, six months now? Why on earth would you buy a ring that long ago and then not bother to give it to person?


As someone said earlier, I'd change your son's last name to match yours rather than his. And I really wouldn't consider having another child with someone who isn't prepared to enter into the commitment of marriage, but that's just my opinion.

paulineb_2

I would think the finance was approved.

seven-day-weekend

I think there are two likely options.

1. He's waiting until he's paid for it before he proposes.
2. He bought it in a moment of madness/a dream/when he was drunk/after a nagging session/before he realised that the OP wanted to spend £1000s on a wedding, and now he has bought it realises that actually he's OK as he is and why bother getting married.

There's only one way to find out. Ask him. (Although I think it very sad that the OP doesn't know his feelings on this. Doesn't seem as though they are very close).

shop-to-drop

Vikipollard wrote: »

OP, just a question - has he actually paid for the ring yet?


He apparently didn't think the finance would be approved, so I wonder if he can't afford it and is expecting to have to give it back?


To me, everything shrieks he doesn't want to get married. Series of excuses about 'going to do it' always after the event. What's it been, six months now? Why on earth would you buy a ring that long ago and then not bother to give it to person?


As someone said earlier, I'd change your son's last name to match yours rather than his. And I really wouldn't consider having another child with someone who isn't prepared to enter into the commitment of marriage, but that's just my opinion.

Who'd have thought, is Viki Pollard all grown up? :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Shame on you, lady. :rotfl:;)

I know, I know!

I'm a girly girl in some ways, and in others not....instead of flowers for valentines one year, I asked for a memory card and spare battery for my camera!

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I know, I know!

I'm a girly girl in some ways, and in others not....instead of flowers for valentines one year, I asked for a memory card and spare battery for my camera!

Hah!
If it's a choice between something practical and flowers, I'd probably opt for the memory card & battery.


But when we're talking diamonds....now that's a different kettle of fish entirely. :rotfl: