What Were Your 20's Like ?

HPoirot

I am aware that some 20-somethings are overly competitive, but even I would look at one who schmoozed and flattered me like I was looking through clear glass. They get so carried away with it that it doesn't dawn on them they are anything but obvious with the intention behind it.

Buzzybee90

I will answer the original question (although I've only been in my 20s since 2012!)

Since I turned got into my twenties I've:
Got a degree (first)
Received some industry qualifications
Moved into my first (rented) home with my partner
Moved into my second home with my partner!
Bought things to make my flat a home - gathering real possessions like settee, furniture etc.
Been on holiday to a city I'd never visited before
Got my first full-time job
Started volunteering

Brighton_belle

Well a direct answer to your question would be that my 20's were utterly awful.
I mention this only in case anyone reading having an difficult few years does realise we don't all have fun in our 20's living life to the full so don't feel alone and it's only 'you'.


Life in subsequent decades got considerably better.

Tiglath

HPoirot wrote: »

I am aware that some 20-somethings are overly competitive, but even I would look at one who schmoozed and flattered me like I was looking through clear glass. They get so carried away with it that it doesn't dawn on them they are anything but obvious with the intention behind it.

I favour the direct approach so it's all out in the open - that's what a colleague of mine does. He emails people in and outside the company to say he's looking to develop his career; if necessary, he'll ask a colleague to put him in contact with someone who works for another company. He'll state a particular area of interest (say, shipping law), and ask them if they'd be prepared to have coffee with him while he asks them questions. It's very much part of the culture of our company that you seek to learn from colleagues and help to develop others by sharing knowledge, and they supply a 'toolkit' with suggested principles and skills at all levels. We're actively encouraged to plan our own career progression and there are lots of in-house courses and events. Maybe it's the direct antipodean approach

CruisingSaver

In my twenties I trained and qualified as an Accountant, was diagnosed with an incurable (but not fatal) chronic disease, dated a series of unsuitable men but had the best time doing so, moved to London just because I felt like it, moved back to my home city after I'd had enough of London, bought my first house, partied and holidayed with my friends, was bridesmaid for several friends and later Godmother to their first children. In short, I lived life to the full and wouldn't change a thing!

19lottie82

I had a GREAT time in my 20s. I'm 32 in two weeks, so they are not too much of a distant memory!

I partied hard with a great bunch of friends, loads of great memories. Started to settle down a bit when I turned 28 with a serious partner and a mortgage, but had a fab time in my twenties

22cuddles

Good times and bad for me I'd say. Graduated at 23, bought a property at 24. Didn't know anyone in the area I moved to after uni apart from colleagues and as I was the manager it wasn't really appropriate to socialise with them outside of work. I was very lonely for a time, got myself into debt buying things to cheer myself up. Eventually took a second job in a bar to meet people (worked really well :j) so then I was working two jobs and partying every weekend and virtually burnt myself out. I was bored to tears in the day job so took six months out to go travelling in my mid 20s. Loved travelling but found out the letting agent dealing with my flat hadn't found a tenant but failed to let me know so all my savings were being eaten up by the mortgage with no rent coming in I ended up coming home early in the end because of it. Fortunately, I managed to walk into a job almost as soon as I got back and set to work paying my debts off (note to self, going travelling before paying the debts off wasn't the greatest idea). I stuck it out for five years but it was incredibly stressful - if I hadn't left when I did I think I would have had a breakdown. Now in my 30s, doing the same work for a different company but a much more relaxed environment. I've met someone really lovely and we're hoping to move in together sometime this year.

My advice would be to have fun and enjoy yourself but spend your money wisely

jackieb

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

Thanks Jackie. Do you find you have less time to just 'be' with your husband then due to the responsibilities etc that comes with both of you being parents ? My mother also said I should wait and 'enjoy' whoever I end up with.

Mine are kind of grown up now. The eldest is almost 30 and the youngest is 18. I suppose we are still young enough to enjoy time on our own now though. We could if we wanted to but we tend to not go out that much. My eldest has left home and I maybe thought that the other 3 would follow suit shortly, but they have combinations of asperger's, dyspraxia and ADD, so I can't see it happening anytime soon. It would be nice to have the house to ourselves occasionally.

HPoirot

Tiglath wrote: »

I favour the direct approach so it's all out in the open - that's what a colleague of mine does. He emails people in and outside the company to say he's looking to develop his career; if necessary, he'll ask a colleague to put him in contact with someone who works for another company. He'll state a particular area of interest (say, shipping law), and ask them if they'd be prepared to have coffee with him while he asks them questions. It's very much part of the culture of our company that you seek to learn from colleagues and help to develop others by sharing knowledge, and they supply a 'toolkit' with suggested principles and skills at all levels. We're actively encouraged to plan our own career progression and there are lots of in-house courses and events. Maybe it's the direct antipodean approach

I am 100% with you on the candid approach and cannot help feeling there is something slimy and underhand when they lay on the flattery.

Angelinaxoxo

HPoirot wrote: »

I am 100% with you on the candid approach and cannot help feeling there is something slimy and underhand when they lay on the flattery.

Oh God. So how would you advise approach them ? Imagine I met you for a coffee today as a future person who would like you as my mentor. How would you appreciate I approach you ?