What Were Your 20's Like ?

Angelinaxoxo

balletshoes wrote: »

at 22, I wasn't the same person I became just a few years later, I was still "cooking" at 22. Still forming my opinions on life, still finding my way, still looking around for what I wanted in life. I'd say the person I am now is fundamentally the same person I was at 26 or 27.

I don't think I've ever made a plan more than a couple of months in advance in my life - can't see that changing anytime soon.

I feel like I'm cooking. I suddenly have my opinions on politics, the economy and real 'values' and 'morals' and 'principles'. I have a strong sense of self now and I'm more self aware and might I even say..confidence

So I'm going to change even more ?

Tigsteroonie

Looking back, my 20s are the decade that I would choose to re-live. It didn't start brilliantly, and I made some wrong decisions as a result.

Angelinaxoxo

bagpussbear wrote: »

My 20's were very mixed. First couple of years was spent clubbing and having fun with mates. Then I met my husband, married at 22, got a mortgage, had my son at 26, and then was separated by 28 and left a single parent and hard up (divorced at 30).

I lost my dad at 26 and a couple of good friends passed away around the same time too.

I did everything a bit too quickly! so some things I enjoyed and other times were very hard for me indeed.

My advice to you, speaking in a motherly fashion :-) would be this:

Get a pension now, if you don't have one - and never depend on anyone financially.

Don't feel you should marry the first man you 'love' - love in itself does not always make a good life time partner.

Make wise and healthy decisions for yourself - remember they can come to bite you on the bum in later years!

Start good skincare, don't use sunbeds or be excessive (if at all) at sun bathing.

Spend more time with people you love - I would give the world to have another day with my dad (and my mum who passed too in my early 30's) - so value the time you spend with them.

I am in my early 40's now and actually this is the best decade for me, met my soul mate at 39. I would not swap these years for my 20's to be honest, although I would love to have my 21 year old body back haha!

You are in a lovely place right now, enjoy your life sweetie x

This is beautiful advice, thank you very much.

GwylimT

My wife and I got married at 21, as we didn't have a mortgage or anything we went traveling, as my wife had cystic fibrosis we couldn't do long stints, so we would go away for two weeks, stay with a set of parents/friends for a few days and book somewhere else.

When we were 23 we were planning to buy a house, however my cousins son was taken into care and so with the support of SS we decided to take him on, this meant we wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage so we continued renting. Four months after he had moved in with us full time my wife contracted pneumonia, she died 5 weeks later. That was horrendous, especially as our son had just started to trust us, and so by one of those people in his view vanishing set him back so much and when you are in that situation you don't really have time yourself to think about or comprehend what has just happened.

By twenty five my son and I had our own home, partially bought from my grand fathers inheritance and partly with my wives insurance money. I then went back to work part time as our son was more settled and he had started to attend school full time, just over a year later I was able to go back full time as he had adjusted enough that he was able to trust a childminder to look after him until I finished work.

Georgiegirl256

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

You're not but you can tell me how yours went! So I can pick up pointers and tips

Yes, but no one can tell you how to live your life, you've got to learn as you go along.

As we've learnt already from this thread, sometime went out partying, some travelled, some settled down, so who can say? What's right for one person is obviously going to be right for the next. You've got to live your life the way you see fit.

If someone tells you they went travelling, are you going to do the same? Only if you're that way inclined, if you're not, then that advise is pretty pointless to you. Don't compare yourself to other people and how their lives went, because you can't and shouldn't emulate them.

balletshoes

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

I feel like I'm cooking. I suddenly have my opinions on politics, the economy and real 'values' and 'morals' and 'principles'. I have a strong sense of self now and I'm more self aware and might I even say..confidence

So I'm going to change even more ?

yes - we're always changing - I grew in confidence in my mid-20s and also came to realise that we should all follow our own path in life, and not compare it to anyone else's. Its a waste of time.

Angelinaxoxo

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Looking back, my 20s are the decade that I would choose to re-live. It didn't start brilliantly, and I made some wrong decisions as a result.

What would you say was the single biggest decision you made which created the worst consequences ?

Tiglath

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

What tips will you give me for advancing my career? and navigating the work place. I hope to advance, get far etc. How did you manage to reach that point ?

I didn't settle on my current career until I was 32. I did general admin type things before that but decided I wanted to work in the City, so did some temp/contract work and eventually applied for an adminy job at an investment bank. Moved up and into a compliance/financial crime direction and just carried on. Collecting some professional qualifications now although I haven't technically needed them before.

Something I'm rubbish at but which will probably be important for you is people-contact. Start networking - get yourself along to industry events, workshops, training seminars etc. Does your employer offer any kind of training? If so, grab it with both hands. See if any of the more senior people would be interested in a mentoring role - monthly/quarterly meetings where you can pick their brains and bounce ideas around. Point out that it will enhance their own CVs as well in terms of people skills

jackieb

When I was 20 I was already married and had a 4yo. Didn't have an awful lot of money and only got more comfortable towards my later 20s. Also went from renting to having a mortgage. I just seemed to be pregnant for a lot of my 20s - 3 miscarriages and 3 babies. I'd finished my family by the time I was 28.

With hindsight, I think I maybe should have waited until my 30s to have a family - just so we could've had some time to ourselves. I love my family but once you have them you never stop worrying about them. You don't realise that until they start growing up a bit.

Angelinaxoxo

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, but no one can tell you how to live your life, you've got to learn as you go along.

As we've learnt already from this thread, sometime went out partying, some travelled, some settled down, so who can say? What's right for one person is obviously going to be right for the next. You've got to live your life the way you see fit.

If someone tells you they went travelling, are you going to do the same? Only if you're that way inclined, if you're not, then that advise is pretty pointless to you. Don't compare yourself to other people and how their lives went, because you can't and shouldn't emulate them.

I completely agree with you, however it's important to note I didn't make this thread so I could 'copy' or 'emulate' anyone. It appears you have misunderstood my purpose for this thread.

I was writing in my journal about how excited I was for my 20's and I decided it would be nice to hear about the journey many other's went through as an 'interesting thread.

That's all. Just me wanting a fun Sunday conversation about everyone's journeys through life. Nothing more.