What Were Your 20's Like ?

System

Well the first half was pretty much full of misery and illness, now into the second half and trying to rebuild life from the fallout if the first half.

Graduated, then got my first full time job, then had a breakdown and lost job, diagnosed with bipolar at 22, spent 22-25 in some mainly prescription drug fueled haze, had a crappy relationship with someone who treated me like crap, cheated on me then left me for another woman...

Then at 25, life got a bit more bearable, mood started to stabilise, met a wonderful guy, finally got back into work, moved into a happier house and now fugue ring out what to so with the rest of my life.

In summary, my 20's thus far have certainly been an experience!!

thorsoak

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

How have you found going through your life, different decades, kids, career changes with your OH ? Did you find you just grew naturally together ?

We always said that we were lucky - we grew up when we were married and still had mutual interests and enjoyments. We grew together, we grew apart, we grew together again - always evolving, changing careers, lifestyles - although we only lived in three places over 40+ years. Sadly we only had 2 years in our "final" home - but I can look back over almost 50 years with very few regrets - and lots of love and laughter. Regrets? Maybe we should have not worried about the future so much as we grew older!

Tiglath

I'm really enjoying this thread - fascinating to hear what people have done with their lives, and a perfectly legitimate reason to talk about ourselves with a dose of introspection

Sneezy

ska_lover wrote: »

You do see some very boring 20somethings who are already well into a mortgage and never go out partying..way too early to be taking life so seriously imo

:o:o I am one of those boring 20 something's.

I'm 27, single, been working for 8½ years, I've had a pension for 8 of those years, I have some savings, currently saving for a deposit for a mortgage.

I don't drink, smoke, generally go out as when I was a teenager (before starting work) I didn't have the money, when I started working and had the money didn't see the point in flushing my hard earner cash down the toilet.

OP so far my 20s have been awful (particularly the last 18months). I've done some travelling on my own (max 2 weeks due to job) but that's about it. My family mean the world to me and I would do anything to have another day with my grandparents

Angelinaxoxo

GwylimT wrote: »

My wife and I got married at 21, as we didn't have a mortgage or anything we went traveling, as my wife had cystic fibrosis we couldn't do long stints, so we would go away for two weeks, stay with a set of parents/friends for a few days and book somewhere else.

When we were 23 we were planning to buy a house, however my cousins son was taken into care and so with the support of SS we decided to take him on, this meant we wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage so we continued renting. Four months after he had moved in with us full time my wife contracted pneumonia, she died 5 weeks later. That was horrendous, especially as our son had just started to trust us, and so by one of those people in his view vanishing set him back so much and when you are in that situation you don't really have time yourself to think about or comprehend what has just happened.

By twenty five my son and I had our own home, partially bought from my grand fathers inheritance and partly with my wives insurance money. I then went back to work part time as our son was more settled and he had started to attend school full time, just over a year later I was able to go back full time as he had adjusted enough that he was able to trust a childminder to look after him until I finished work.

I'm sorry about your wife, I'm sure she'd be proud to know that you took care of your little boy. What would you say was the hardest part of being a single father in your twenties ? How did you cope, you were still very young...

Angelinaxoxo

Tiglath wrote: »

I didn't settle on my current career until I was 32. I did general admin type things before that but decided I wanted to work in the City, so did some temp/contract work and eventually applied for an adminy job at an investment bank. Moved up and into a compliance/financial crime direction and just carried on. Collecting some professional qualifications now although I haven't technically needed them before.

Something I'm rubbish at but which will probably be important for you is people-contact. Start networking - get yourself along to industry events, workshops, training seminars etc. Does your employer offer any kind of training? If so, grab it with both hands. See if any of the more senior people would be interested in a mentoring role - monthly/quarterly meetings where you can pick their brains and bounce ideas around. Point out that it will enhance their own CVs as well in terms of people skills

Well done Yes, everyone keeps speaking about networking and contacts etc. I would love a mentor (a senior woman in my field would be nice ) How would i approach more senior members of staff. I can imagine it would be awkward them getting an e-mail saying 'HI!! I WORK DOWNSTAIRS!!! BE MY MENTOR!!' :rotfl:

How would I get around it ? Once I meet them for coffee etc I know how to schmooze and flatter them and pick their brains but I'm just wondering how on earth I get to know them in the first place

Angelinaxoxo

Sneezy wrote: »

:o:o I am one of those boring 20 something's.

I'm 27, single, been working for 8½ years, I've had a pension for 8 of those years, I have some savings, currently saving for a deposit for a mortgage.

I don't drink, smoke, generally go out as when I was a teenager (before starting work) I didn't have the money, when I started working and had the money didn't see the point in flushing my hard earner cash down the toilet.

OP so far my 20s have been awful (particularly the last 18months). I've done some travelling on my own (max 2 weeks due to job) but that's about it. My family mean the world to me and I would do anything to have another day with my grandparents

:grouphug: You need to strike a balance though Is there anything in particular that you're saving towards which has made you disciplined or are you simply saving (which is fine btw) but you certainly need more balance.

It doesn't sound too fun

Tiglath

Doesn't have to be someone in the same company - are there any social events you'll be going to? Anyone you'll be meeting in other companies? I go along to something called SHCOG and 'Women In Compliance' for Compliance people (free champagne evenings with giftbags at Jo Malone - yes please), and I get invited to breakfast seminars by various groups. If there are any relevant industry magazines, read those to see what's around. I suspect people will be quite flattered to be asked

Angelinaxoxo

jackieb wrote: »

When I was 20 I was already married and had a 4yo. Didn't have an awful lot of money and only got more comfortable towards my later 20s. Also went from renting to having a mortgage. I just seemed to be pregnant for a lot of my 20s - 3 miscarriages and 3 babies. I'd finished my family by the time I was 28.

With hindsight, I think I maybe should have waited until my 30s to have a family - just so we could've had some time to ourselves. I love my family but once you have them you never stop worrying about them. You don't realise that until they start growing up a bit.

Thanks Jackie. Do you find you have less time to just 'be' with your husband then due to the responsibilities etc that comes with both of you being parents ? My mother also said I should wait and 'enjoy' whoever I end up with.

cats2012

Well I'm 25 and so far I've got a degree, a husband, a house and amazing friends! We're young to be married but definitely not letting anything pass us by - just doing it all together!! no less travelling and partying than anyone else