Not being told, finding out by accident

pukkamum

peachyprice wrote: »

Hey ho, what's done is done, but he really can't complain when he only gets beans on toast for dinner every night until payday while you and the boys have proper dinners, afterall, he already spent his food money on the gift.

I second this!

victory

acidhouse wrote: »

depends on a few things:
- his reason behind justifying spending that much on one individual
- his reason for picking that particular gift at that cost - is it something they can use, is it a gift they won't use, is it a practical, helpful gift, or is it a piece of indulgence they can get by without, is it something they've always wanted

i'd also show him how much cheaper you could have got it for as well :d

.

............................................

victory

pukkamum wrote: »

I second this!

Fajitas for dinner tonight cheap n cheerful , colourful and filling not full of revenge and hate :rotfl::rotfl:

victory

pelirocco wrote: »

I hate to give you some bad news ..........but i think we are married to the same man !!

Only mine goes in for larger more expensive items that are ''needed'' for work . and then asks me arrange payment !

I dont need to ring him to ask sweetly what has he done , I go down to his office and throw things


That doesnt work either


I can fully understand why you are mad , I would have had a got at him too...........probably better ways to go around it , but hes not a child

It may be wrong to go black and white on this but taking into account he knows I wouldn't do it, that I would try to get it cheaper if it was necessary to buy , that I would have automatically discussed it with him, he me lords is in the wrong:rotfl::rotfl:

AcidHouse

Do let us know what he says - I'd love to be a fly on the wall tonight!


Seriously though, the reason he bought it must have justified the cost of it at the time, in his mind. 'I can buy this even though we're on a tight budget....because....'

Then maybe he thought you wouldn't agree to his reasons for buying it, so you were never asked or told.

I'd love to know why he felt the need to buy that particular gift at that cost, at the expense of your budget.

victory

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Poor bloke. He must feel like he has a millstone around his neck.

Is this just about the 'betrayal of trust' feeling or was the gift to a disliked (probably female) relative which has rather exacerbated the situation?

Poor bloke in the sense of... He feels he has to scuttle around his wife's back, paying out money we can't afford, going online and secretly arranging payments and deliveries for gift his wife knew nothing about.... Yes poor bloke;)

Yes to the first and no do not dislike ( don't see them very often) but no do not have any dislike or any negatives at all for them:D

victory

AcidHouse wrote: »

Do let us know what he says - I'd love to be a fly on the wall tonight!


Seriously though, the reason he bought it must have justified the cost of it at the time, in his mind. 'I can buy this even though we're on a tight budget....because....'

Then maybe he thought you wouldn't agree to his reasons for buying it, so you were never asked or told.

I'd love to know why he felt the need to buy that particular gift at that cost, at the expense of your budget.

He'll be back in a bit

lulu650

Hope you'll find out what gift he got from his relative.

FBaby

What is sad is that you jumped at his throat (not even waiting for him to come home) in essence complaining that he spent the family as in part of your money, rather than trying to understand what would have prompted him to spend such an amount of money on someone who seemingly he is not that close to. Maybe he has a pretty good reason for it, and even if it isn't the right time to spend this money, it could mean a lot to him for reasons you are not aware of.

Also, I vaguely remember that you moved away and things have been tight since, but I can put myself in his shoes. He is the one working and bringing the money. I recall that he hates his job. It must feel awful to go to work every day to do a job you hate just so you can pay the bill and can't even have a tiny bit of control to buy a family member a special present. I can't remember why you don't work (or do you?), but maybe there is some unsaid resentment on his part on this matter.

Also, can you categorically say you have never spent some money on things that were not essentials because you wanted to please someone (maybe your daughter?) when ideally you needed the money for bills?

*max*

FBaby, are you maybe confusing Victory with another poster?