Not being told, finding out by accident

victory

All sorted now thanks for that x

Brighton_belle

I would never ever ring my DH while he was at work for anything other than an emergency. He's at work...working, concentrating, and being paid to do that. Of course he was going to be on the defensive. It's only thing worse would be texting IMO.
I think you should have waiting until he had got home and had a sit down to be honest. He's going to feel pounced on and on the defensive.

victory

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I would never ever ring my DH while he was at work for anything other than an emergency. He's at work...working, concentrating, and being paid to do that. Of course he was going to be on the defensive. It's only thing worse would be texting IMO.
I think you should have waiting until he had got home and had a sit down to be honest. He's going to feel pounced on and on the defensive.

The timing was he was just packing up and leaving so yes technically he was within the working premises but finished work on the way to the commute home:D:D

lazywife

Sorry, I don't think I'd have rung him and confronted him over the phone. Like you said what could he do about it now? Maybe a chat when he got home would have been more appropriate.x

bebewoo

I'm glad I'm not married.

pukkamum

I can only guess that it was something he knew this person would really love to receive, it was 50% off so a bargain price and he anticipatec you saying no if he discussed it with you.

Who was the gift for?
Family?
Close friend?

For me I would be more upset that he felt he couldn't tell me about it.

I control the finances in our house but pukkadad earns the money and although we do discuss big purchases I feel if he really wanted to buy it and it didn't mean going without essentials or getting in debt then he has a right to do so.

victory

lazywife wrote: »

Sorry, I don't think I'd have rung him and confronted him over the phone. Like you said what could he do about it now? Maybe a chat when he got home would have been more appropriate.x

.................
sorted

victory

pukkamum wrote: »

I can only guess that it was something he knew this person would really love to receive, it was 50% off so a bargain price and he anticipatec you saying no if he discussed it with you.

Who was the gift for?
Family?
Close friend?

For me I would be more upset that he felt he couldn't tell me about it.

I control the finances in our house but pukkadad earns the money and although we do discuss big purchases I feel if he really wanted to buy it and it didn't mean going without essentials or getting in debt then he has a right to do so.

thanks.........................

Domayne

I can understand why you'd be angry if you guys are having a hard time financially and I don't know how you two work your budget/who earns the money etc, He should have spoken to you about it - Maybe it slipped his mind? but I'd also be annoyed and defensive if my partner called me up at work and attacked me over a purchase I made for a family member - particularly if they were close to me, Is he close to this person?

hazyjo

I find 'his relative' a bit vague. If it were for his child from a previous relationship, or his mum or dad, or sibling, I would say that. Bit different to some aunt somewhere he rarely sees.

Are you sure it wasn't something he was asked to buy? What did you think he bought them, or did he lie about the price (or did you not ask)?

£55 is a hell of a lot to some, not a lot to others. Maybe whoever he bought it for asked for it not realising it was that expensive. I'd think nothing spending £55 on my mum at Christmas, but I wouldn't be spending more than a tenner on most friends, and wouldn't buy for any relatives other than immediate family. Girl opposite me at work buys for every man and his dog (quite literally the dog lol) - including shop staff, all family, her cat and any other close family pets! Honestly, she spends a fortune (and can't really afford to).

Also, are you sure that was for a relative and not someone else?! Was it something personal? Don't want to rock the boat, but worth mentioning with the brief info you've given us...

Jx

Person_one

Maybe you should have a pre-agreed limit on what can be spent without consultation, and above that you need to check with each other.

It would have to work both ways of course.