Weddings Abroad bit Presumptuous

arbroath_lass

Person_one wrote: »

Why on earth would they feel guilty?

I would feel guilty. Maybe bad is a better word. I don't mean, for a second, the OP SHOULD. Just that a little bit of feeling like that could make them feel obliged to go.

I seem to have lost my Babel fish today! Sorry.

Ezmondino

One of my wife's friends wants to get married abroad and have her as a bridesmaid. I told her, that's fine, if she's paying for you to go. I find it a totally selfish decision to make.

peachyprice

arbroath_lass wrote: »

I would feel guilty. Maybe bad is a better word. I don't mean, for a second, the OP SHOULD. Just that a little bit of feeling like that could make them feel obliged to go.

I seem to have lost my Babel fish today! Sorry.

I wouldn't feel guilty, or bad, or anything else for not going to a wedding that meant I had to spend savings I didn't want to and the rest of my family would go without a holiday. I would decline without giving it a second thought.

Mojisola

A wedding invite is just that - an invitation, not a royal summons!

If you don't want to go - whether it's because you can't afford it or just don't want to - don't go. No reason to feel guilty about it.

onlyroz

I think you should either go alone (if you can afford to do so) or politely decline. As somebody else suggested you could look for a cheaper hotel in the same area, which might save some costs. But absolutely don't feel guilty if you decide not to attend.

Mojisola

peachyprice wrote: »

I wouldn't feel guilty, or bad, or anything else for not going to a wedding that meant I had to spend savings I didn't want to and the rest of my family would go without a holiday. I would decline without giving it a second thought.

Agreed. I'd feel more guilty about spending a lot of money on myself and leaving the family at home. If the money is available, have a family holiday.

arbroath_lass

peachyprice wrote: »

I wouldn't feel guilty, or bad, or anything else for not going to a wedding that meant I had to spend savings I didn't want to and the rest of my family would go without a holiday. I would decline without giving it a second thought.

But you also wouldn't post on here to ask. If the OP felt like that they would have done so. And, perhaps, come on here for a rant if his sister was less than gracious about it.

For what it is worth, I think you are right. I wouldn't spend money on a "holiday" without my family.

Pollycat

FishHookPockets wrote: »

Am I a misery or is it unfair to presume people should attend ?

I don't think you are a misery at all.

I have no objection to people getting married wherever they like as long as they don't expect me to fork out money that I don't want to spend to get myself there to watch it happening.

I don't think anyone should presume someone else should attend a wedding and I also don't think anyone should presume they will get an invitation to a wedding.

If it were me - sister or not - I would not put myself and my family in debt to attend the wedding.

poet123

We have had so many invitations to weddings abroad in the last five years that if we had attended them all we would have spent a fortune.

We did originally agree to go to one wedding in Mexico (and would have treated it as a family holiday) but they changed the date by a few days and unfortunately those few days made a big difference to our availability so we couldn't go. As it turned out that was actually fortunate because the same side of the family had two more weddings abroad (Florida, Dom Rep) within 18 months, and having declined one we felt no guilt about doing the same with them.

Then, in October we got another invite to go to Cuba. For most people the cost is too much and really if they want all the family at their weddings Brides should consider that before deciding on a venue abroad.

Person_one

arbroath_lass wrote: »

But you also wouldn't post on here to ask. If the OP felt like that they would have done so. And, perhaps, come on here for a rant if his sister was less than gracious about it.

There can be a heck a lot of pressure around family weddings, I expect the OP is feeling some of that.