Weddings Abroad bit Presumptuous

securityguy

It sounds like you're well rid of them.

They don't want to talk to you, but they're needy and abusive.

Leave them all to get on with it.

andygb

Mojisola wrote: »

If people who weren't relatives treated you like this, would you continue to have anything to do with them?

You've got a long-standing relationship with someone who isn't respected by these people.

Enjoy the hassle-free period while they're not talking to you!

I totally agree Mojisola, I have been there and done it all.
You can pick your friends --- etc etc etc.
Our lives are far quieter and less stressful, now that the obnoxious "outlaws" are not involved with us.
OP, I would look on this as a very lucky escape - hopefully leading to a much calmer life for you.

MrsE_2

Re the wouldn't take no for an answer, unless they book you a holiday they dont have a choice.

Shouldhavechecked

FishHookPockets wrote: »

UPDATE:
Anyway She wouldn't take no for an answer when I spoke to her, it ended up being leaked from my parents whilst I was at work. The result was as I had expected all along an abusive message saying they understand I don't have the free cash but I should put myself out, and they will not be speaking to me for the foreseeable future.
I presume put my self out means use my credit card and come alone.

That is outrageous. Your parents shouldn't ask you to get into debt for any reason. If they think nothing of people getting into debt, why don't they pay for you on their credit card?

Sorry to hear your family are treating you so poorly. I hope they see the error of their ways.

I can't abide the sense of entitlement some people have when it comes to destination weddings. If you go abroad you cannot expect other people to attend.

Gloomendoom

FishHookPockets wrote: »

Anyway She wouldn't take no for an answer when I spoke to her, it ended up being leaked from my parents whilst I was at work. The result was as I had expected all along an abusive message saying they understand I don't have the free cash but I should put myself out, and they will not be speaking to me for the foreseeable future.

You have children for parents?

Georgiegirl256

FishHookPockets wrote: »

The result was as I had expected all along an abusive message saying they understand I don't have the free cash but I should put myself out, and they will not be speaking to me for the foreseeable future.

That is utterly selfish of them....:( They're obviously too self absorbed in the wedding to care about other people's feelings and to care about your situation.

If someone treated me like that and told me they weren't speaking to me, I'd be like well that's your loss not mine.

You sound like a lovely bloke OP, such a shame your family doesn't seem to treat people the same way.

orangeslimes

That's awful. If someone chooses to get married abroad then they need to accept that it will mean not everyone can come.

I was posting on here moaning about the cost of going to a hen party, and generally how the cost of attending weddings adds up, but I know that if I didn't go to the hen party my friend would be ok with it- certainly wouldn't send me an abusive message saying she wasn't speaking to me. I don't think my family members would either if they were getting married. If it was really important then maybe they would offer to chip in.

Your parents and sister sound very immature.

Pollycat

FishHookPockets wrote: »

UPDATE:
Well I tried to explain I didn't want to come alone but then my relationship never seems to be taken seriously (been together for 15 years) was phoned on valentines day once asking if I would collect my sister and her then partner from a restaurant 'cos all I was doing was cooking a meal at home!
Anyway She wouldn't take no for an answer when I spoke to her, it ended up being leaked from my parents whilst I was at work. The result was as I had expected all along an abusive message saying they understand I don't have the free cash but I should put myself out, and they will not be speaking to me for the foreseeable future.
I presume put my self out means use my credit card and come alone.
I found the last comment extremely hurtful, I lose count of how many times I have helped with moving, fixing, lend stuff (even having to drop it off and collect it when I need it). I would help you if I saw you struggling to carry something and I would give family money for something urgent like car repairs . Once marriages ended in a big booze up and maybe a drunken scuffle. Now they end up with people not talking before the events taken place.

What a shockingly selfish sibling you have!

'Put yourself out'?
Really?

Don't they mean 'put yourself in debt and while you're at it, put your sister (and her over-blown wedding) before your partner and your kids'?

I'd be telling them that, at the end of 'the foreseeable future' when they'd got over their hissy-fit and decided that they wanted to talk to me again, to go take a hike - in whatever country suited them.

Good luck for the future, you sound like a nice guy.
Do what you think is best for your family - that's your partner and your kids.

QuackQuackOops

FishHookPockets wrote: »

Hello all, I bet this has been discussed by a few folks at some point.
One of my sisters has decided to get married abroad. She is marrying into a fairly comfortable family who will be bank rolling the event in terms of the couples arrangements and venue. Guest however must pay their own travel and board.
I myself am a family sole earner non home owner with some savings (not easy I have had to buy virtually everything we have 2nd hand)
I would not be able to save enough to attend in the time frame which leaves to credit cards or raiding my ISA. For my partner and kids to attend and to kennel out dog + spending money etc it will wipe out a fair percentage of my money (more than i have probably ever spent on a car). My other option is to attend alone which seems wrong especially as my sister is never apart from her fiancee.
To be honest I see little reason for marriage unless practicing a religion, I have been in a relationship for 20 years and we've never seen reason.
The ceremony is not on a beach or anywhere special it is in a hotel . They just don't want to be in the UK, which Is their choice as a wedding is all about the couple of course.
I have genuinely been having sleepless nights over it and feel as though a large bill has come through the post or I have to commit social suicide.
Am I a misery or is it unfair to presume people should attend ?

Dont make yourself ill over it.

You can't afford to attend, so don't. Why all the worry?

jellyhead

Enjoy the peace and quiet while they're not talking to you

You're well rid, maybe this week you can cook a meal for your girlfriend without being interrupted to ferry your sister around!