Weddings Abroad bit Presumptuous

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

He's also been 'told' to treat it as a holiday, don't forget.

I guess, but I'd still be explaining my situation with her regards financing the trip, and hopefully she would understand, if not, then yeah, she is being a total bridezilla.

I don't get why people are so polite all the time, and worry themselves sick to the point of it keeping them awake at night? Try communicating, it works wonders!

Georgiegirl256

fluffnutter wrote: »

Semantics. I'm sure he knows his sister well enough to interpret her expectations correctly.

So he's a mind reader now is he? Like I said in my previous post, why doesn't he just talk with her?

MrSmartprice

It's 'only' a wedding! If you cannot afford to attend, or are unwilling to shell out a fortune to do so, then don't. It is extremely rude and presumptious if they just expect you to go regardless.

Send them a card, wish them well, and turn up at any booze-up when they return home. No way would anyone dictate to me where I took my holiday.

Norma_Desmond

'Told to treat it as a holiday'.......:eek:

No-one dictates where we go on holiday, and most weddings abroad are in horrible, tacky resorts anyway.

Now, if you're getting married on the shores of Lake Como or in a nice little church on the Amalfi Coast and you pay our fares and hotel..........then of course there's no problem.

Seriously, op, just wish your sister well and catch up when the happy couple return to the UK.

arbroath_lass

Person_one wrote: »

He's also been 'told' to treat it as a holiday, don't forget.

Yes, but by whom? The bride? The OP's parents? Perhaps they meant "could you?" but it was phrased badly. "Treat it as a holiday" - is that told or suggested? Perhaps they meant a family holiday? None of us know either the family or the happy couple so we are only guessing here.

poet123

duchy wrote: »

How very judgmental of you. Often there are very good reasons why people choose to marry abroad that they choose not to share with the world - especially those who like to gossip.

I have to say that in the case described I agree with the poster. It was selfish.

GobbledyGook

The new assumption that guests will happily travel to the random place chosen by the couple who don't want to get married in the hotel in town/local stately home like everyone else is one of my biggest bug bears at the moment.

I have no objection to people choosing what they want to do for their wedding, however I really object to the expectation that i'll spend a fortune on taking my family away for at least 3/4 days (if not a week) for it AND I'll be grateful for the chance too.

Don't mind if there's a real reason (friends recently married in Greece as the bride's parents and grandparents are there and unable to fly) or when people say 'we're getting married in x, but no pressure to come', but otherwise it's just rude when people get huffy that no-one is 'interested' in their big day.

If you can't afford to go just tell them. They are supposed to send invitations not a summons! They might have just lost sight of that momentarily.

lostinrates

A lot of people are talking about the money, which yes, is massive.

But a hugely overlooked factor is the time.

My husband's father was married in the country where he lives and we didn't attend which caused bad feeling. I'm pretty sure if push came to shove my fil would have paid for DH or even DH and I to go but the problem was both one of practicality and time.

DH gets little time off work, the time spend travelling to the place and back is effectively a day each way and DH felt that to lose a significant chunk of his holiday time not to spend with me there was too much of a sacrifice.


Fwiw, I was in favour of DH going, but I was unable ( and unwilling) to go myself.

Loz01

You're not alone OP, one of my friends got married abroad and expected guests to pay for flight, hotel, drinks, a present etc etc. I didn't even have the money for a holiday of my own, never mind for someone else so I didn't go! I said if they were havin a party/get together when they returned to the UK then I would attend and was told no, it was all abroad based! Can't win.

andygb

Loz01 wrote: »

You're not alone OP, one of my friends got married abroad and expected guests to pay for flight, hotel, drinks, a present etc etc. I didn't even have the money for a holiday of my own, never mind for someone else so I didn't go! I said if they were havin a party/get together when they returned to the UK then I would attend and was told no, it was all abroad based! Can't win.

I think that you have emerged as the "winner", simply by sticking to your guns, and not caving in to unreasonable damnds which would have put you in debt.
Well done:T