OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

springdreams

melanzana wrote: »

So.... A few days after the funeral, her VBF who also has two cats also, and loves them to bits said to me, " I have just written a note for x and y her executors, that if I die before the cats, they are to be euthanised." She just could not deal with them being left behind her.

I don't know if anyone agrees with that, and it may be a bit controversial, but I could understand totally. She doesnt have to worry.

What do you all think?

So sorry for your loss Melanzana.

I too can understand why she has made this request for her cats. Most people who are pet people already have pets of their own, and it can often be difficult to introduce another pet to the existing pet's home. I have a dog, and it has always been the sole pet in the household (barring some fish). My siblings all have cats. My dog would not be overly keen to have a cat introduced to his home, and likewise the cats would not be too happy to share a home with my dog. I imagine much flying of fur if such a thing were to happen.

It would therefore be best for my dog to either be looked after by Dogs Trust, who I know will not give him the same love and attention he now gets, or be euthanised.

Mrs_Bones

springdreams wrote: »

So sorry for your loss Melanzana.

I too can understand why she has made this request for her cats. Most people who are pet people already have pets of their own, and it can often be difficult to introduce another pet to the existing pet's home. I have a dog, and it has always been the sole pet in the household (barring some fish). My siblings all have cats. My dog would not be overly keen to have a cat introduced to his home, and likewise the cats would not be too happy to share a home with my dog. I imagine much flying of fur if such a thing were to happen.

It would therefore be best for my dog to either be looked after by Dogs Trust, who I know will not give him the same love and attention he now gets, or be euthanised.

Yes the Dog Trust is another one I've looked at. I'd never go with the RSPCA but the Dog Trust don't put healthy dogs down even if they can't re-home them.

In our family all pets know the other pets if you know what I mean so I know if either mine had to go to my cousin or vice versa they would fit into the others household.

calicocat

melanzana wrote: »

But animals at not humans are they?

They can be euthanised if in distressing and incurable circumstances.

Unlike us.

So there is another ethical debate!

Well no they aren't humans that is true. However in my world that doesn't mean they are any less a being if that makes sense to you?.

Yes an animal can be euthanised if it is in extreme distress or has an incurable problem causing it pain and suffering you are right.

However they are not euthenised because a human wants them to go at the same time as them...vets have to go by ethical codes just as doctors do.

But.....this is another debate for a different thread perhaps....or not right now?

melanzana

calicocat wrote: »

Well no they aren't humans that is true. However in my world that doesn't mean they are any less a being if that makes sense to you?.

Yes an animal can be euthanised if it is in extreme distress or has an incurable problem causing it pain and suffering you are right.

However they are not euthenised because a human wants them to go at the same time as them...vets have to go by ethical codes just as doctors do.

But.....this is another debate for a different thread perhaps....or not right now?

Yes, probably for another forum alright.

Wasnt meaning to be troublesome, and I know you don't think that either...I hope!

Just my sisters death, and her cats deaths, and her friends wishes, just brought things to the surface, especially when I read about people being worried about their pets after they die.

nicki_2

Evening all.

Just spotted this thread and thought I'd come take a look around. I'll have a go at reading the last thread and this one properly when I have more time over the weekend

I'm a singilie with a DD (who turns 13 this April) and have been officially single for 6.5years now, although there have been blokes around, we've just never really got past the odd date. Kind of difficult to have a social life/date when you have no money, a school aged child, a job which involves working evenings and until about 3 years ago I was studying as well!

It'll be nice to 'chat' to people who are also single and have to do things on their own. I've lost the confidence to do DIY stuff myself, so I'm hoping by joining this thread and see what you all manage to do I'll be able to boost my confidence and get my house sorted.

Winter_Phoenix

OMG, I miss reading this thread for a couple of days, and when I return there are ten or eleven pages to read! Keeping up is a full-time job!

Boddy, thank you for the tip-off re: the gadget which shows up cold spots. I haven't been able to try it out yet because DD instantly "borrowed" it before I'd even got it out of the box, but I'm looking forward to using it in due course. And while I was in Lidl I discovered that they still have cordless steam irons for £15. As the only place I can comfortably iron is just too far away from an electrical socket, I've wanted one for ages, but they are usually far too expensive to justify buying one. Better still, by flicking a switch these ones can work as cordless OR corded irons. Brilliant design, best of both worlds.

LavenderBees, I'm sorry to read about your poorly pet. I hope the vet manages to get him fighting fit again quickly.

Bugslet, what an, erm, amazing house. Who knew that you could buy leopardskin carpet and shocking-pink cookers? Wow. But full marks to the owners for doing up their home the way THEY wanted, instead of obeying the "rules" set by those TV programmes which tell you to paint everything in neutral colours even if you happen to hate magnolia and cream. I just hope they can find a buyer who shares their taste!

I wouldn't want to leave instructions for my animals to be put down, as I know some very happy re-homed pets who have adapted well to their new families. I'd want my pets to have the same chance of settling happily into a new household.

And in the Miss/Ms/Mrs/Mistress debate, I hated being called "Mrs" when I was married, so always used "Ms", but now I'm divorced I'm happy to be "Miss" again. So I guess it's horses for courses?

Right, I think that's me caught up with this thread, so I might treat myself to an early night tonight!

calicocat

melanzana wrote: »

Yes, probably for another forum alright.

Wasnt meaning to be troublesome, and I know you don't think that either...I hope!

Just my sisters death, and her cats deaths, and her friends wishes, just brought things to the surface, especially when I read about people being worried about their pets after they die.

No, I don't think you were trying to be troublesome Melanzana at all.

Just that it may not be the best week to be discussing the animal part of things.

Things can suddenly come to the surface with me too at times with my dads death just over a year ago, so I understand what you mean.

springdreams

THE book has arrived :j

I shall therefore attempt to tackle my first DIY task covered by the book this coming weekend - the wobbly toilet seat

Mrs_Bones

groatie_queen wrote: »

Hugs from me too LB, I hope LavenderPuss has a good night.

Work has been quite intense this week, but also enjoyable. Some of my clients are attending a self esteem course at present, which I'm sitting in on, and one of the handouts suggested putting together a list of rewards to refer to when you need a pick-me-up, or when you've achieved a goal.

My clients' rewards were things like getting their hair done, a manicure, a new bike (the client is a keen cyclist), a takeaway.

It struck me that all their rewards involved spending money. It made me wonder what MSE rewards we singlies use for pick-me-ups, small treats and rewards for goals reached/frogs munched? Free or low cost?

One of mine is visiting a heavenly wee loch not far from home with a flask of tea. If it's nice I'll go for a walk, if not it's a picnic in the car. Another is phoning friends. A hot bath. Listening to music.

My biggest reward is usually achieving what I set out to do, really - satisfaction is a great feeling. But we all need wee pick-me-ups from time to time, especially as singlies with no one else at home to cheerlead for us!

I'd love some new ideas, so all contributions welcome!

Thanks for this post it's made me do some serious thinking since I saw it earlier. The things I automatically thought of don't really apply to me now. If I'd had a stressful day at work I use to like to come home and bake, that was my de-stressor. I liked taking photos and I loved walking in woodland, visiting local gardens and historic houses, going on day trips etc but mobility and health problems have made those things few and far between now. Thinking about it I have adapted in some ways to life's changing circumstances but I think I do need to give this some more thought and decided on other ways that offer quick pick me ups preferably ones that don't cost money. My head still too frequently things of how things were than how they are now and because I can't do what I use to I get angry with myself and then get depress which doesn't help.

I still like taking photos but now it's in the summer of my garden. In these winter months I hardly do any photography and I think that's something I need to change. I have a weakness for afternoon teas and last summer stared getting the cake stands out of the cupboard and actually putting them to use but again apart from a couple of family gatherings I've not done it in the winter months. There's nothing stopping me treating myself by setting up a little cake stand with sandwiches etc for myself.

The other things I do already are treat myself to books, often that might mean a free kindle one but it's still seems like a new treat. I love music so do download music or watch on youtube videos. I guess my biggest pick me up is the internet, while there is a few people I can ring I don't really like bothering people and I have a bit of a love hate relationship with the phone. I admit I get lonely sometimes but the internet really helps with that. It does let me communicate a lot better than I do in real life. There are a few forums I go on apart from MSE. I like interacting by blogging, taking part in blogging parties etc. but I admit I've not done much of that for a while. If I started taking more photos again I've have something to put on a blog.

mum2one

Can I rack some brains please - I may be putting 2 and 2 together and getting the wrong answers but - here goes-

I have a DD who is 11, apart from my parents there has been the 4 of us (me, her, grandparents), - from day 1.

Her dad has no involvement, never seen her, dragged it through court for 2 yrs to get access and parental responsibilty (refused PR, refused direct access, given indirect access - he doesn't bother with) - during all this time she was under "special measures" not school wise but safety wise
(couldn't go out without one of us, no photos of her in paper related to school, had to be collected from school etc etc - as there have been threats to abduct her).

On and off over the last 12 years an ex gets in contact, I'm 42 - we went out when I was 25 to 27, our paths cross - nothing comes of it, - then another few yrs - again we come together - this last meeting has been over last couple of yrs - thou we haven't met up, have a natter on facebook.

DD knows this - as the one time she was on my comp and on facebook and a hi popped up from him - shes not reacting very well to this, I've explained he was in the past, just a friend, he has been with his g/f for 5 years - but it is as thou it grinds on her, not helped as DD told nan about him, (when we were together he was a alcoholic) to be honest I think he still is to an extent, I know its no more than chatting to a friend who lives down South or a rep we stay in touch with from holidays.

When we were together drink was an issue, (not violent - he'd flirt with others, try to upstage a caberet act if we on holiday, or fall asleep) how we managed 2 yrs I do not know. So I can see why my mum is touchy (I went through hell + back with DDs dad)

Now my darling mother - keeps making sarky comments - and this is starting to grind on DD and me, I feel that if I protest - its like I have something to hide, the other thing is DD hadn't been at all well over Xmas, she nearly ended up in hospital with dehyration (excess sickness) also passing blood - he was a great support,
he rang New years Eve to wish us Happy New Year (we swopped numbers - more to send jokey texts etc on).

DD got the all clear mid Jan with next batch of tests but she's still bein sick, the min she has breakfast - thats it - back up, doesn't eat shes fine. Now I don't know if she feels the ex is a threat and the sickie is her way of dealing with it,

There is nothing more than friendship and support network for both of us, but any suggestions be grateful for. Although theres been a couple of mini flings they were when DD was younger, when I was on holiday so she has never seen me as part of a couple..