OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

Pick-me-up or achieving a goal...I'm fortunate I have a very good friend I can phone and know I can rely on her to say "Money..you've achieved SO much so far. You've done SO well" and words to that effect and often finishes the call with "Love you loads" (not a phrase I would use at all...I would squirm at the thought...but I appreciate hearing it).

Countryside helps...a lot (part of why I moved here). I haven't been here long, but I've worked out a couple of "vantage points" where I can go and have a sit and think (or zone out). Personally, I tend to find that somewhere that is country-ish and gives a connection to the past helps. I can appreciate the scenery and the "connection to the past" aspect helps remind me of all the generations of people here before me who often had hard lives and mine is Easy Street in comparison with them. So I can do a joint appreciation of the scenery I can see whilst knowing that, in the past, there were people who had to work pretty hard their for their living and I don't have to and that's a blessing for me.

Being in a new area, I appreciate "friendly faces" and have a policy of being "open to offers" if someone seems decent. Have just come back from having been invited in for coffee by someone I have had a couple of friendly chats with whilst out walking around. I duly accepted and that was a pleasant chat later and am hopeful that that's another "new friend in the making". I guess the point I'm making is I am tending to think these days its worth being open to friendly overtures and these "friendly links" are all part of what helps to make a social network for singlies.

We DO need our social networks more than people who are coupled-up.

calicocat

melanzana wrote: »

Hi folks.

Was just reading about the dilemma of your pets when you pass away.

Well, it struck a chord with me, even though I don't have any animals in the house (except myself!). it's not that I dont like them or owt, it's just that I feel I couldn't give them time. I'm too bleddy selfish I reckon!

Anyhow, back to the Dilemma.... My youngest sister died last Summer, and I am still grieving, and miss her so much. Wonderful girl, all to live for, and so many plans.

On the day she passed away her no 1 cat went missing. Her hubbie found him dead in a garden a few doors up, next morning. Then on the day of her funeral, the mammy of no 1 cat died. It was absolutely awful. They both loved those cats like kids, as they were unable to have any of their own sadly.

So.... A few days after the funeral, her VBF who also has two cats also, and loves them to bits said to me, " I have just written a note for x and y her executors, that if I die before the cats, they are to be euthanised." She just could not deal with them being left behind her.

I don't know if anyone agrees with that, and it may be a bit controversial, but I could understand totally. She doesnt have to worry.

What do you all think?

Well it's not something I would want to do as would hopefully have someone or a rescue that could ensure my pet had a good home. On one level I do get it, in that she may be thinking no-one would look after them as they would...but that isn't a reason to kill something.

To be honest....a vet wouldn't do it anyway, so I doubt she would get her wish if she had healthy cats.....bit like asking a doctor to kill your husband because no-one can do a lunch the same as you once you are dead..?

I was very worried about this when I had a very complicated dog with physical problems, but had him looked after in place, luckily, but did worry hugely that others wouldn't be able to 'do it all right'. Why anyone would want to put perfectly healthy animals down I find a bit weird if you want my honest opinion.

like I say....a vet would refuse anyhow.








EDIT........


It's also quite arrogant of us humans to think that our pets couldn't be happy without us, and that they couldn't possibly form another loving or mutual respect relationship with anyone else.

Mrs_Bones

melanzana wrote: »

So.... A few days after the funeral, her VBF who also has two cats also, and loves them to bits said to me, " I have just written a note for x and y her executors, that if I die before the cats, they are to be euthanised." She just could not deal with them being left behind her.

I don't know if anyone agrees with that, and it may be a bit controversial, but I could understand totally. She doesnt have to worry.

What do you all think?

I do understand the reasoning behind her thinking. I'll admit I've also wondered the same myself, as Calicocat said you do worry that they won't be looked after in the way you've looked after them, but I just don't think that is something fair to do, not to an healthy animal. Me and another family member have arranged things that who ever goes first the other has the animals to look after so currently I'm happy with that.

calicocat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Pick-me-up or achieving a goal...I'm fortunate I have a very good friend I can phone and know I can rely on her to say "Money..you've achieved SO much so far. You've done SO well" and words to that effect and often finishes the call with "Love you loads" (not a phrase I would use at all...I would squirm at the thought...but I appreciate hearing it).

Countryside helps...a lot (part of why I moved here). I haven't been here long, but I've worked out a couple of "vantage points" where I can go and have a sit and think (or zone out). Personally, I tend to find that somewhere that is country-ish and gives a connection to the past helps. I can appreciate the scenery and the "connection to the past" aspect helps remind me of all the generations of people here before me who often had hard lives and mine is Easy Street in comparison with them. So I can do a joint appreciation of the scenery I can see whilst knowing that, in the past, there were people who had to work pretty hard their for their living and I don't have to and that's a blessing for me.

Being in a new area, I appreciate "friendly faces" and have a policy of being "open to offers" if someone seems decent. Have just come back from having been invited in for coffee by someone I have had a couple of friendly chats with whilst out walking around. I duly accepted and that was a pleasant chat later and am hopeful that that's another "new friend in the making". I guess the point I'm making is I am tending to think these days its worth being open to friendly overtures and these "friendly links" are all part of what helps to make a social network for singlies.

We DO need our social networks more than people who are coupled-up.

I love the beach for being able to think. I can just sit and listen to the waves whilst thinking, or have my feet in the sea, or watch dogs or kids fleeing about doing their thing.

I also like hearing seagulls overhead while I make a coffee or breakfast. Last summer friends were here and I heard this loud weird noise and jumped....they were laughing at me saying chill, it's just a ship in the port.....i got the shock of my life!.

There are things I miss about in-land though......no birds here other than seagulls. I find the lack of their nose very noticeable at times.

How is the fab fireplace Money??....and agree about the opening up to meeting new people, that's what smacked me in the face with the original thread.

alice-mary

Bookworm, I'm another Midlander.:wave:. Northampton for 21 of the last 26 years! I moved here in 1988, tried leaving twice but couldn't wait to get back here and have now been in this house for 10 years! The house hasn't really had any work done to it since I moved in:o and I know that I could really do with a "rent a hubbie" to fix a few things!

Alice
xx

BookWorm

Evening all

Just won a £5 credit for the Android store so feeling pretty pleased with myself all because I fancied a kitkat too :rotfl:

LB - sending you and your furry boy some hugs

Bugslet - OMG that house is so OTT - I'd get a headache after being in there for any length of time. Although have to say the leopard print carpet is a new one on me!

Alice-Mary - :wave: right back at you hun.

MoneyIs - well done you for accepting all the new offers and meeting new people. I often have good intentions but then I get worried that I won't be able to find some common ground or that the conversation won't flow. Then because I worry about - often it happens I am going to keep working on it though

melanzana

calicocat wrote: »

Well it's not something I would want to do as would hopefully have someone or a rescue that could ensure my pet had a good home. On one level I do get it, in that she may be thinking no-one would look after them as they would...but that isn't a reason to kill something.

To be honest....a vet wouldn't do it anyway, so I doubt she would get her wish if she had healthy cats.....bit like asking a doctor to kill your husband because no-one can do a lunch the same as you once you are dead..?

I was very worried about this when I had a very complicated dog with physical problems, but had him looked after in place, luckily, but did worry hugely that others wouldn't be able to 'do it all right'. Why anyone would want to put perfectly healthy animals down I find a bit weird if you want my honest opinion.

like I say....a vet would refuse anyhow.








EDIT........


It's also quite arrogant of us humans to think that our pets couldn't be happy without us, and that they couldn't possibly form another loving or mutual respect relationship with anyone else.

But animals at not humans are they?

They can be euthanised if in distressing and incurable circumstances.

Unlike us.

So there is another ethical debate!

springdreams

groatie_queen wrote: »

Hugs from me too LB, I hope LavenderPuss has a good night.

Work has been quite intense this week, but also enjoyable. Some of my clients are attending a self esteem course at present, which I'm sitting in on, and one of the handouts suggested putting together a list of rewards to refer to when you need a pick-me-up, or when you've achieved a goal.

My clients' rewards were things like getting their hair done, a manicure, a new bike (the client is a keen cyclist), a takeaway.

It struck me that all their rewards involved spending money. It made me wonder what MSE rewards we singlies use for pick-me-ups, small treats and rewards for goals reached/frogs munched? Free or low cost?

One of mine is visiting a heavenly wee loch not far from home with a flask of tea. If it's nice I'll go for a walk, if not it's a picnic in the car. Another is phoning friends. A hot bath. Listening to music.

My biggest reward is usually achieving what I set out to do, really - satisfaction is a great feeling. But we all need wee pick-me-ups from time to time, especially as singlies with no one else at home to cheerlead for us!

I'd love some new ideas, so all contributions welcome!

My favourite reward is a soak in the bath with a book and an alcoholic beverage.

This is closely followed by a day of no house work

mum2one

LB - Hope the puss goes on ok, big hugs. xx

springdreams

BookWorm wrote: »

Evening all

Just won a £5 credit for the Android store so feeling pretty pleased with myself all because I fancied a kitkat too :rotfl:

Congrats on your win :T