OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

iammumtoone

silverwhistle wrote: »

Those of you with kids generally have the answer in front of you,

I thought that too, until I read this

mum2one wrote: »

its a good one, although I have a daughter, the thought occured that (god forbid) that we were both in an accident

It a very good point, so much to think about. There is no one to leave everything to apart from DS. I do have older relatives but expect to out live them. I am an only child so no siblings, I have cousins but never see them so whilst it would be nice if they got something I wouldn't want them to have it all, I have friends that if my DS couldn't inherit I would rather it went to them or a charity.

Thanks for bring this subject up and everything that goes with it, I need to get something sorted. Great idea about the folder and also drafting a funeral plan (even if I just pop a note of it in the folder) to take the stress away from whoever has to deal with it.

kacie

I don't have a will, and wont probably get one til after I have moved, but I have told family that I wish to be cremated incase something does happen. I probably should look into life insurance though, and I'll have to ask about whether my new job does a pension scheme.

groatie_queen

Here I am, a bit late to the party - went straight to bed after work last night. Thanks, LB, for providing this nice space for us to move into!

Ha! I often recommend key safes to my clients, but had never thought of one for myself - but as Greenbee says, it makes it so much easier to arrange access when it's needed. Thanks, Lilyplonk, for the link. Once we get to the end of this 6-week pay month, I'll order one.

Wills - an important issue. Not morbid, just practical - it's a dead cert, in fact!! With both daughters permanently abroad, my will is with solicitors who are also the executors. Seeing to the emptying of the house will be enough for the DDs to see to. It was only when she died that I discovered just how much of a hoarder my own mother was. Emptying her house took me weeks and weeks - she even had kaftans dating from the 1960s... and a manky old fur stole complete with foxes' heads :eek::eek: ... *shudders*

When I moved here, a downsize, I vowed that all my downsizing and decluttering would not go to waste. So I haven't floored the loft, and there is no Ramsay ladder. I don't want my DD's to go through weeks of tat!! I keep a carrier bag for the charity shop at the back door, and add to it over time till it's full. This saves stuff accumulating... paperbacks, unwanted gifts, things I haven't used in a while, clothes etc.. It's an ongoing life edit! :rotfl::rotfl:

debtfreefuture

On a totally different topic.................

How much do you singlies spend on "housekeeping" in a week?
I budget for £60. This does seem excessive when I look at the OS board and people manage to live on £25 per week - but then again my £60 incorporates everything I buy, including hair colouring, deodorant, body moisturiser, vitamins etc. I usually only go shopping once a week (at the weekend) and only keep about £3 in my purse (left over from the said £60) for odds and sods in the week.

groatie_queen

I reckon on about £25 per week for food, cat food & litter etc.. About £10 on top for small spends. This being a 6 - week month, I've been in use-it-up mode.

It's the unexpected which needs consideration, so I have an "oopsy float" of £50 per month, which came in handy yesterday. I had an unexpected visit to the opticians when the leg on my only pair of specs snapped off and couldn't be mended. The neatest solution, putting the existing lenses into new frames cost £45, during which one of the lenses got chipped, so on Friday I'll be given replacement lenses free of charge. Thank you Specsavers!

iammumtoone

My current food and toiletries budget is £25 per week for us (I tend to think of us as one and a half as DS doesn't eat much as me)

It is low as we are living on benefits at present. I was a SAHM when ex was here now he has left I am looking for work. Once I find a job I am looking forward to being able to treat ourselves more if I had the money I would spend it.

A question to the other single mums on here. Do you work full time? if so how do you find it with your child(ren) being in childcare. I am looking for part time work but there is not much about so have started applying for full time positions. I am not bothered about ds being in childcare full time on school days but do feel for him being left there full time in the holidays (especially the six weeks) as I don't have any relations who could look after him

calicocat

I have 100 in a pot for food, per month, sometimes it includes cleaning products etc, sometimes it doesn't, depends on the month. That doesn't include the cat stuff. It also doesn't include toiletries or anything of that nature as don't buy these on a monthly basis but randomly.

I also have....

A pot for the months cash.
A pot for the months petrol money.
A pot with a fund in for going out.
And now a pot for (?)..via not buying wine....'garden pot' I think.

If one gets low, I borrow from another, any over goes into a saving acc, and this way i'm not out and about with my cards to just spend on a whim.


Well....that's always the plan at the start of the month....doesn't always work out that way if I get a shopping head on.

moneyistooshorttomention

I don't really know how much "housekeeping" is. Since I've retired I have more time available to do things like shop around and the like BUT first of all I spent months using up things because I knew I was moving. I then moved and have spent some time building my stocks back up again/having to grab whatever was quickest/eating out when things really got on top of me in the house.

Hence, cant work out a true picture. Once things stabilise a bit I will have a better idea, but my feeling is I'm probably spending £35-£40 a week on food and cleaning materials. I don't include cosmetics or any personal spending in that.

There's just far too many variables for me ever to be that exact. For instance, I'm hoping my garden will start producing some food at some point (and that will cut my spend). On the other hand food and social life will always be intertwined to some extent. For instance, I'm going to a social event later this week which includes a meal and will be paying £8 for that part of it.

I think probably a major difference between people will be whether food spending is treated as/has to be treated as just one of those necessity things on the one hand. On the other hand, someone might be treating food spending partly as an interest/hobby (as I do) and that will make it more expensive (the "Ooh...I haven't tried that yet" factor and reaches for purse). But I think that's fair enough personally, as I don't spend on running a car/having pets/etc and therefore save quite a bit that way.

LolaLemon

iammumtoone wrote: »

A question to the other single mums on here. Do you work full time? if so how do you find it with your child(ren) being in childcare. I am looking for part time work but there is not much about so have started applying for full time positions. I am not bothered about ds being in childcare full time on school days but do feel for him being left there full time in the holidays (especially the six weeks) as I don't have any relations who could look after him

I hate it! I was/am very much an 'attached parent'. his dad takes him on a friday adn spends at most 3 hours with him before leaving him at his grans house and picking him up in the morning. the rest of the time he was always with me until school started. i then got a joba nd only thing available was an office job 9-5, i thought it wouldnt be too bad, but we dont get home til 6 pm each night, so its dinner, homework bed, try and fit in a shower before 8pm . tuesdays are a nightmare as he has karate too and we dont get home til half 8/9.
my family help by picking him up on a tuesday and wednesday the otehr 2 days he goes to afterschool care.
this summer was the first i was working. and i have never wanted to quit my job as much before.
I have not many options here as 1000 people went for 30 possitions ina new ald! that is being built here, so jobs are scarce. i dont work weekends so we make the most of them. and i spend my life planing day trips.

Charis

Thank you, this has been an interesting and worthwhile topic to start the new year, along with all the other seasonal decluttering and setting one's life straight (again, LOL). I've picked up a good few tips - thanks for the idea of a ring binder. I realise that although I've got a file on the computer it could get overlooked. I'll store copies of the documents and keep the real things locked away, as it would be the perfect set of paperwork for an identity thief if they had the real docs all together.

Last year I had an miserable few months when my mother and my aunt died suddenly, within weeks of each other. Like a previous poster I had the task of clearing out my mother's accommodation and the place was packed to the rafters, mostly with hoarded rubbish. Over a hundred bin bags of junk were removed from mother's flat, plus boxes of stuff that was given to charity shops and some that we kept. I even found the receipt for my pram (I'm retired!). Fortunately relatives and friends helped as we only had a fortnight's grace to clear the place each time (Mum & aunt had lived in sheltered flats, one above the other). After that I had to sort out the many bin bags of old paperwork to hunt for wills and find out how much money they owed to various people, social services, meals on wheels, landlord, utilities, carers...

After I'd paid for their funerals, I was shocked to discover that although both ladies had more than enough in their respective bank accounts they had chosen the only two banks that my solicitor found would not refund the cost of a customer's funeral until probate was granted, which was at least six months, possibly much longer. With the help of my MP and a lot of emailing and phone calls I did eventually extract a promise from both banks that this would never happen to others and they have both informed me that they have changed their ruling, so this should no longer be an issue. Luckily I had savings - I would have been in real trouble otherwise.

I also discovered during my research that if you take responsibility for someone's funeral and either you or they are not on certain named benefits, you will not get assistance. Only if you are both on those named benefits will you get a grant. This isn't generally known. Things may have changed under universal credit, but I doubt it.

I wish my mother had made a will, things would have been so much easier. As it was the sum of the solicitor's bills was nearly £7k and he was not even involved in tackling the banks, that was just for sorting out what the two ladies had saved and to whom they owed money, and for obtaining probate for both of them. Some of the additional cost was a toxic relative implying that I wasn't distributing the assets fairly and complaining about my expenses (incurred in getting to the other side of the country and dealing with everything - to which an executor is legally entitled) and repeatedly phoning our solicitor, which added to the bill.

It's a sad enough task to have to sort out a loved one's possessions and bury them and I have to stress that although it's unpleasant thinking about your own death, it's probably one of the the worst things you can do to someone you love and expect to deal with your affairs to not bother making a will. If you own property, have savings or have a child, then you need to get a strategy in place to deal with what will happen after you die. You owe that much to yourself and to your loved ones and friends.

Unless your will is very straightforward it is wise to seek the advice of a solicitor, in case there are unexpected complications. If there are people you wish to cut out of your will, you should specify them by name in case they claim and say you must have accidentally overlooked them. It may cost you around £100 to £150 to make a fairly straightforward will but it could cost thousands in legal fees to sort out if you die intestate. Estates have been eaten up by legal fees in disputes. It happened in Dickens' day and I have been reliably informed by my solicitor that it can still happen today.

On the subject of the End of one's life, here's a link to the govt page on Lasting Powers of Attorney. That's even less tempting reading than how to make a will, but if we want to have a say in our welfare and may be unable to do so in old age, now is the time to set out what we hope will happen in our later years, then we can put it away and get on with enjoying our lives :beer:.