OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

It certainly does seem to need more thought than I had realised. No wonder so many of us have got it in the "Difficult Pile"....

Hmm....for instance...I am pretty well stocked-up with food and it would be a shame for that all to just get chucked in the bin by a house clearance scheme. I guess the first thought is as to whether a local church could be let loose in the larder to help themselves to what they want and find a good home for the food? Maybe the local Oxfam shop could be let loose in my wardrobe and take whatever clothes they wanted to sell in their shop?

melanzana

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

It's good to see everyone settling into the new thread, lovely and comfy

I lurk about and just wanted to mention something about sorting out arrangements for children in wills.

Firstly, please do make a will if you have children. The person a court would consider next of kin would not necessarily be the person you (or the child) would most like to be with. You do need to specify what you want.

Secondly, don't forget to re-visit it as children grow, relationships change etc. There is a big age range amongst me and my siblings. My parents made a will which included arrangements for dear bros 2 & 3, to live with relatives. I asked them to change it 10 years later because by then we had dear bro 4, and I was in my 20's, had flat/job etc and said relatives had moved to Germany. Had anything happened to them, small bro would have been torn away from everyone he knew and loved to live with people he barely knew.
It only occurred to me to ask them to change it because there was a storyline in a soap of a similar thing happening, and it made me sob at the thought!

Sorry this has been long winded, my point is just to remember its ongoing, I think its easy to just put it on the 'done' list.

Very true re the minor children.

I dont have kids myself, but my sister and brother have mde me legal guardian of their children if anything happened to the parents.

Hopefully that will never happen, but I would happily have them all. I love them like my own. Good plan, but again hopefully will not need to be implemented.

Brother and sister happy. This was discussed with me before I agreed.

You are right, kids need to be with someone who will love them, and somewhere they are comfortable to be, especially if unfortunately they lose their parents.

I am talking here about both parents passing at the same time. Otherwise, the surviving parent will be the guardian. And it saves heartbreak if someone else in either side of th family feel THEY should have the children. Sad topic, but one very worth considering while your children are under 18.

Charis

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

Sorry this has been long winded, my point is just to remember its ongoing, I think its easy to just put it on the 'done' list.

That's very true. Relationships and friendships can and do change over the years. Marriage automatically revokes a will made previously, leaving it invalid.

Also it may not be enough to specify that a child is left with your family rather the father, it seems to depend on whether the father has Parental Rights There was a change in the law ten years ago to include unmarried fathers who jointly register the birth with the mother. Prior to that the father needed to obtain a PR agreement with the mother or a PR order from a court.

calicocat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Who'd a thunk it such a nerve would have been touched about us thinking about Wills?

It's obviously all the more important if there is someone we wish to "provide for" come the time (eg children) or we have a partner that would lose their home if they lost us. But it's clearly very important for us singlies too. I certainly wouldn't want my own hard-earned assets to go to either the Government or a particular toxic relative I can think of.

Just made a resolution that when things settle down a bit for me personally (ie more on top of renovating my house) I'd better find myself a local solicitor and do a new Will.

I'd better change the executor of my Will too, as its a friend who is older than me and not very well (not to mention now on the other side of the country). Suppose it will have to be one of the solicitors in the firm I choose.

One practical query I have here is that I am wondering just who would be the person who will go through my personal possessions and sort them out as to charity shop/dustbin/etc/etc for those things that aren't particularly of any value. Would that still be the Executor...even when that executor is a solicitor rather than a private individual known to the person making the will iyswim? This is one of the things that hadn't occurred to me. Whilst I had a friend down as executor then I was just assuming that she would help herself to whatever food/cosmetics/books she fancied before disposing of everything else (as she would know that is what I would expect/want her to do)...hmmm...

The 'who goes through my stuff' bit is why I have two friends as executors....they can take what they like and leave anything else to the two nieces, but I wanted it to be friends /someone I trust to rummage through my vast aray of carp....most i' sure they will want.

The funeral details I didn't specify (as at the moment i'm not really bothered but this could change of course) , I just states cremation, and it is paid out of my estate.



Edit....i think the best option may be to have a friend/family member(someone you trust....and a solicitor as executors. As things stand at the moment my two are very capable sensible, and strong willed people so think they will be fine and were more than happy to help. They didn't seem worried about anything or details...but maybe I should check with them.


Another edit.....just catching up on the thread and I had never thought about food, however will give them permission and orders to have it if they wish. however they may not want this and find my suggestion freaky, as I went crazy when I found my brother working his way through my dads freezer. When you are organising these things you are practical about it, and forget that when it comes to it people get emotional and their ideas of what is ok changes.

singlestep

My mum has been nudging me in the direction of making a will. To be honest, the only reason why I haven't already is that I don't know who or what I'd like to leave it to. Obviously, my mum. But she isn't in the best of health and what would happen to my property were she not around?

I have no brothers or sisters and I'm not particularly close to my cousins. I have a few close friends: only one has a child to whom I am a godparent

I have a lot of 'specialist' books which would be neither use nor ornament to most I know outside work and are becoming increasingly redundant even there. I don't really think of myself as a hoarder or a prepper but a couple of people have been astounded by the amount of 'stuff' in my kitchen - although I think it's just a lack of storage space :rotfl:

I'll give it more thought and do something about it over the next few months when the crazy period at work is over - I can mull over it on my commute home in the evening and take note of all the excellent points that have been made. Thank you, all.

AliBee16

As a singlie of 2 years (separation) I will be following this thread with interest. I must also make a will as my ex and myself have left each other all our money, then the children. Not sure if my solicitor is still there either, I have moved away.
In my circumstances being single has been a blessing - my children are grown up, but still live with me (when not with b/friends), and I can do what I want, which is wonderful.
A trivial question though - what do you do with the other half of sauces, etc. like pesto or thai paste? Dont really want the same meal 2 days running - can you freeze stuff like that?

melanzana

BTW, re the wills..... I have directed that my house be sold after my death.

The proceeds are then to be divided up as in the will.

I do not want to leave the house to anyone. It is the largest asset in my estate and to be fair to my beneficiaries, there is more to go round if it's sold!

That may not apply to everyone of course, but with no children I think it's best.

It just goes to show how much thought has to into these things!

For those of you worried about who will clear out the house etc. please try and get someone you know and trust to br an executor. They will understand your wishes, and carry them out.

I have specified that books, computer equipment, cameras, electronic stuff etc.to go to a, b and c, who I know would enjoy them.

Books and decent clothing, bedding, and furniture to Oxfam.

Jewellery to a, b and c. All girlies!

Once you gt the topic out there...it's not too bad really, and is very rewarding when you have sorted things out.

melanzana

AliBee16 wrote: »

As a singlie of 2 years (separation) I will be following this thread with interest. I must also make a will as my ex and myself have left each other all our money, then the children. Not sure if my solicitor is still there either, I have moved away.
In my circumstances being single has been a blessing - my children are grown up, but still live with me (when not with b/friends), and I can do what I want, which is wonderful.
A trivial question though - what do you do with the other half of sauces, etc. like pesto or thai paste? Dont really want the same meal 2 days running - can you freeze stuff like that?

If you divorce, your spouse will get nothing in the will, (neither will you from your ex) even if named. Neither can they act as executor. So if you are in the process of divorcing, it might be wise to review things.

As for freezing pesto and curry paste. Yes you can freeze them. But I would make double the portions of whatever I was cooking and freeze THAT! Each to their own, and best of luck.

If I'm unsure of freezing anything I just put a search in Google "can I freeze X.?" answer comes up every time.

RosiePuddingPaws

Thanks for raising the difficult subject of wills. When I separated from the ex the solicitor said you must make a will now. Unfortunately she didn't say how I would be able to pay for it having already paid for the separation agreement and house purchase process!

Two years' down the line, it is at the top of my "to do" list. I have no family that I want to leave my house to so that can be sold and the proceeds distributed. My main concern at the moment is the cats. I would hate for them to have to go back to the shelter where they came from, but I don't know anyone who would take them (even if they came with money). Once I get that straight in my mind then I will make the necessary appointment to get it sorted.

I do have some things that I would like certain people to have. I guess they will need to be listed or a letter of intent enclosed with the will. I don't want to pass them on yet as I plan to be around for some time to come.

I hadn't got as far as thinking of my funeral so thanks for making me aware that I should. Not tonight though!

RPP

trifles

So pleased this new thread has begun!
:j