OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

fiftyeighter_2

Can I ask a few questions? I am a part time single. It works for me. But the only help I get from ex OH is for his/my daughter, she is 18. However I have 3 sons living. Sorry I lost my youngest nearly 9 years ago. They are now 44, 43 and 42. My eldest son has taken to not being in contact with me for the last 3years. But I have a good relationship with my other 3 children.
The questions are this. I don't own my own home and really have no money or valuables. I receive pension obviously not a lot. I save as much as I can I.e I save in pots
Xmas
Birthdays
Vets
Emergencies
Xmas food shopping
Holidays
Cash for my DD for university.
All of this money adds up to about £750. Obviously it's not always the same. Is it even worth me having a will? I do have a life insurance. I couldn't leave my children with the worry of sorting that out.
Also there would be some money but not a lot in the house , what would I do with it.
I love the idea of a list of all the bank details, insurances, standing orders etc. I will be doing that tonight. Also. The key thingy. I,m always losing mine.
Would be grateful of people's opinions. Thank you.

mum2one

Lilyplonk wrote: »

Have you ever thought of one of those 'Keysafes' that is situated at the side of your Front Door?

They are very secure and can only be opened by using the correct 'Keycode' that YOU decide on - and can change whenever you want to. It does mean that you only need ONE SPARE KEY instead of a few people having one each. Added advantage of you being able to use it yourself in case you're ever locked out / lose your own keys.

This is the one that I have had fitted - you can have it placed somewhere a bit inconspicuous (ie behind your bins / around the rear of your property) if you feel uncomfortable with having it directly next to your front door.

I 2nd the keylock, we use one at home, from if I forget to get the key out of the car, through to if I had an accident and needed to call an ambulance, (saves the magic key from the police!!). xx

LolaLemon

Oh, im going through a bit of a cancer scare at the moment, so the Will talk is right up my street just now.

I've mentioned to my mum that i would like to donate my organs (if i can) after seeing something on the telly, think it was an advert.
After a trip to the cemetary at christmas/ny and me personally finding all this 'over prettifiying' of the grave area a bit tacky, i jokingly, but all seriously at the same time, told them i would haunt them if they done that to me. plant a tree, fruit trees, brambles etc.
an organic coffin to be burried in too, i do not want to be a mumified for centuaries, so cotton clothing, easiest to decompose box -may as well make it easier for the many millions of animals taht are going to have a feast. I would like a little box of 'treasures' to come with me
I hope to have mortgage paid off in next 8 years (currently have 13 years leftm but aiming for 8). If i go before then, i have insurance to cover it all. I'd like the house to be held in trust by my parents for my son when he is older and they will rent it out for him, they currently rent out a house forthemselves already so adding another to their list shouldnt be too hard, it would more be tax or anything that would impact that idea, or if god forbid they went in the next 10/15 years (they are only just turned 50 so not seeing that happen due to age).
My aims would be for my son to go to my parents, or my sister or my brother. even if i was to pass on i dont see his dad taking im anymore than what he currently does, and dont feel he would 'grow organically' as he is now. im trying to word this without it sounding harsh or anything, his dad cares, but not in the way a parent who has made/does make effort to spend every available moment with their child. My son would need to conform to fit in with his families way of life, which isnt the way he grows just now. At least if he is with my family most of the time, he will be able to grow as he intends just now.

I really need to get my finger out and get a will sorted.
And clear out the hoarded junk. That is not something i ever want to leave behind for anyone, not even my worst enemy as a punnishment haha!

melanzana

fiftyeighter wrote: »

Can I ask a few questions? I am a part time single. It works for me. But the only help I get from ex OH is for his/my daughter, she is 18. However I have 3 sons living. Sorry I lost my youngest nearly 9 years ago. They are now 44, 43 and 42. My eldest son has taken to not being in contact with me for the last 3years. But I have a good relationship with my other 3 children.
The questions are this. I don't own my own home and really have no money or valuables. I receive pension obviously not a lot. I save as much as I can I.e I save in pots
Xmas
Birthdays
Vets
Emergencies
Xmas food shopping
Holidays
Cash for my DD for university.
All of this money adds up to about £750. Obviously it's not always the same. Is it even worth me having a will? I do have a life insurance. I couldn't leave my children with the worry of sorting that out.
Also there would be some money but not a lot in the house , what would I do with it.
I love the idea of a list of all the bank details, insurances, standing orders etc. I will be doing that tonight. Also. The key thingy. I,m always losing mine.
Would be grateful of people's opinions. Thank you.

So sorry about your loss. It must be a terrible burden for you.

Your circumstances could change, and you could win on the Lottery, or someone could leave you an inheritance etc. so I would make a will.

I reviewed mine recently, and it is just such a relief to update everything, change a few important things, and list everything, including my wishes for burial and so on.

Sit down, and have a think about what you would like to do. I don't think it matters even if you leave nothing behind, the beneficiaries would be pleased to know that you remembered them.

Mel.

meleager

I have been following your original thread and so many of the topics you are all talking about are resonating with my situation. I have changed my username to join in this thread because some of my friends/acquaintances may be able to recognise me! I just wanted to give you my experiences on wills etc because I am in the throes of sorting out all this for myself.
My husband died a few years ago and I have no family. I really think being in this situation is the hardest situation to deal with. I have made a will (two of the Solicitors from the firm I am dealing with are my Executors) but even that was difficult because I have no one to leave anything to. I don’t have many really good friends and those I have are all a similar age to me. My closest friend is also not in the best of health so who knows, which of us is going to outlive the other one. The will cost me £180 and is a very straightforward will.
I have been an executor for someone and know the amount of work involved not only in dealing with all the paperwork but also in clearing the person’s house. To this end I am trying to declutter my house bigstyle but it is not easy. Friends think my house is quite minimalist as it is but when I die everything is going to end up in a skip somewhere and that is quite hard. On a bad day, it sort of changes your mind about how you see possessions etc.
For what it is worth, I have left most of my future estate to charity. I found it difficult to choose which charities and I am not sure I have chosen correctly but I can always change that at a future date. I have some money saved as well as owning my own house. The big question for me is though, how much of what I have saved can I spend. To put it crudely, we don’t have a “sell by date” to work to so it is a guess to know how long each of us is likely to live. Also what if the house needs a big repair (almost inevitable depending on how long I live), what happens if I need looking after (again almost inevitable if I live long enough). I do not want to go into a home but there is no-one to look after me so I am guessing that this is likely to be inevitable. There doesn’t seem to be any easy answers to this and the older you get the harder all this is.
I have also taken out a Lasting Power of Attorney for Property and Financial Affairs. I have appointed two of the Solicitors from the firm I am dealing with (in case one leaves the firm or dies) as the Attorney. I did not find this easy even although I knew it needed to be done. There is also a Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare. I still do not know whether to go ahead with this. The Lasting Power of Attorney for Property and Financial Affairs cost £480 and you also have to pay £130 to have this registered at the Court of Protection. If I do end up taking out a Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare that will be another £480 to the Solicitor and £130 to the Office of Public Guardian.
Although the solicitor I saw was quite helpful and did ask quite a lot of questions, as did I, it still felt very impersonal. I haven’t even met the solicitors who are my executors.
I found out about Living Wills and, like you, thought my GP was the person to go to. I have been a patient of his for nearly 40 years so he knows me pretty well. It was a total waste of time. All he said to me was that I would get the best medical attention no matter what happened. That wasn’t really what I wanted to hear but he kept on saying to me that taking out a Living Will was just a waste of money because the medical profession would do their best for any patient! I am therefore still thinking about this and how I can tackle this. I don’t know anyone who has a Living Will so I don’t really know what happens although I have done lots of research on the internet.
I have still to think about and probably pay for my funeral but at the moment I am struggling with it. I don’t really know why this is because I know what I want and it is just a question of doing it. I would rather sort out either a Living Will or the Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare but I am kind of stuck and don’t know how to progress on that.
I have found this whole process, together with the loss of my husband, very difficult. I am not a person who has ever suffered from depression but dealing with this is traumatic. It is something all us singlies have to deal with. It would be easier if we had some family but for those of us who have no-one it is incredibly hard.
My advice to you would be to think long and hard about all of this before going to see solicitors etc. To Solicitors, even if most sympathetic, you are just another client and they can try to steer you towards taking out both Lasting Powers of Attorney and to sort out your funeral etc. All that makes it easier for them to deal with when the time comes but you have to be sure it is what you want. I’ll be interested to hear how you or anyone else get on with this.

moneyistooshorttomention

Who'd a thunk it such a nerve would have been touched about us thinking about Wills?

It's obviously all the more important if there is someone we wish to "provide for" come the time (eg children) or we have a partner that would lose their home if they lost us. But it's clearly very important for us singlies too. I certainly wouldn't want my own hard-earned assets to go to either the Government or a particular toxic relative I can think of.

Just made a resolution that when things settle down a bit for me personally (ie more on top of renovating my house) I'd better find myself a local solicitor and do a new Will.

I'd better change the executor of my Will too, as its a friend who is older than me and not very well (not to mention now on the other side of the country). Suppose it will have to be one of the solicitors in the firm I choose.

One practical query I have here is that I am wondering just who would be the person who will go through my personal possessions and sort them out as to charity shop/dustbin/etc/etc for those things that aren't particularly of any value. Would that still be the Executor...even when that executor is a solicitor rather than a private individual known to the person making the will iyswim? This is one of the things that hadn't occurred to me. Whilst I had a friend down as executor then I was just assuming that she would help herself to whatever food/cosmetics/books she fancied before disposing of everything else (as she would know that is what I would expect/want her to do)...hmmm...

littlegreenparrot

It's good to see everyone settling into the new thread, lovely and comfy

I lurk about and just wanted to mention something about sorting out arrangements for children in wills.

Firstly, please do make a will if you have children. The person a court would consider next of kin would not necessarily be the person you (or the child) would most like to be with. You do need to specify what you want.

Secondly, don't forget to re-visit it as children grow, relationships change etc. There is a big age range amongst me and my siblings. My parents made a will which included arrangements for dear bros 2 & 3, to live with relatives. I asked them to change it 10 years later because by then we had dear bro 4, and I was in my 20's, had flat/job etc and said relatives had moved to Germany. Had anything happened to them, small bro would have been torn away from everyone he knew and loved to live with people he barely knew.
It only occurred to me to ask them to change it because there was a storyline in a soap of a similar thing happening, and it made me sob at the thought!

Sorry this has been long winded, my point is just to remember its ongoing, I think its easy to just put it on the 'done' list.

Byatt

Thanks Charis for the link. I didn't think I'd need a LPA but now wonder if that's my best option. My DD is autistic and I couldn't leave her with the decisions, she just wouldn't know what to do, so need to find someone close geographically.

Is anyone else running around in their head going omg, omg, what do I do? :cool:

I'm not worried about a will as such, I don't have property now and have a very small income.

Hollyberry

Thank you for all the interesting comments about wills and the like - it's been helpful reading. A couple of things occurred to me from the posts today:

• A "green" coffin may end up being more expensive. I enquired about one for my mum and it was about twice the price of the cheapest wooden one to go wicker. I'm not sure about the costs of the cardboard ones. As my lovely mum promised she would come back and haunt me if I spent too much , I listened carefully to her and went for the wooden version instead. And I've also found a lovely woodland site with a view for her ashes, as I know she would be way happier with that. I've made it clear in my documents that I would like something similar.
• Although I have an OH and a MIL, I have still taken my friend to our household filing to show her where to find our wills and other key documents if needed [in the file called Key Documents, no less!] Said friend also has our spare house keys. My MIL would be in a complete flap if anything happened to us, so my friend will be in a much better position to make some sensible decisions about what to do. Like some posters here, I have also told her to take her pick, and then get in a house clearance firm if she wants.
• If OH and I should shuffle off our mortal coils together, the majority of our money goes to our godchildren with some to specific charities. It's been good to get that sorted.

In practical terms, it can take a while to get probate finalised. My mum had a straightforward will, but it was still several months before probate could be sorted, not least because it took me a long time to sort out her financial bits and pieces, such as small shareholdings from building societies and from previous employers. The note to self from me at the time, was to list all my bank accounts (done), file all my financial papers (done) and make sure someone knows where they are (done!), as it's a long and difficult job for someone else if not. Sadly it took my mum's death to get me to deal with my own stuff, but better late than never, eh?

Nice snuggly new thread, btw. Looking forward to many happy hours here.

meleager

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

One practical query I have here is that I am wondering just who would be the person who will go through my personal possessions and sort them out as to charity shop/dustbin/etc/etc for those things that aren't particularly of any value. Would that still be the Executor...even when that executor is a solicitor rather than a private individual known to the person making the will iyswim? This is one of the things that hadn't occurred to me. Whilst I had a friend down as executor then I was just assuming that she would help herself to whatever food/cosmetics/books she fancied before disposing of everything else (as she would know that is what I would expect/want her to do)...hmmm...

The Executor is the one who has to finalise everything such as applying for Probate, selling house etc. As part of that they would have to get rid of everything in the house. This is the problem with having a Solicitor to act as Executor. I imagine they will either get a house clearance firm in which is upsetting to say the least. I can't imagine a Solicitor actually doing anything themselves. There is also the amount of their fee. Ok I won't be around if all this is happening but I can imagine the Solicitor's fee for doing this will be in the thousands of pounds. I did ask about this when I made my will and was quoted approx £7,000. This will, of course, depend on the size of one's house and how much stuff is in there. I don't have a big house. Things like furniture etc doesn't worry me but I have some jewellery and some personal mementoes and have no idea how they will deal with these. That was why I suggested that this process can be very traumatic. I have given some of my personal possessions away to friends etc but it is knowing how far to go.

It all needs a great deal of thought.