OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

JustKeepSwimming_2

grousescot wrote: »

Calicocat, Greenbee, Goatiequeen, thanks for your supportive comments. Oh dear, looking at it now the last paragraph of my posting from last night makes me sound a right misery guts. I've heard of the "imposter syndrome" - I guess my weakness is I can't fake confidence when I don't have it. As it happens I had a catch-up with a senior manager today who actually wanted to see what I'd been working on and we had a constructive discussion about it in which they seemed perfectly happy with my progress. So I can hold on to that should my confidence fail me again.

I agree with others here - it's important to have something planned during one's free time that requires you to get out of the house. I'd end up hibernating from Friday evening until Monday morning otherwise. I've actually got a couple of things on in the evenings this week which is unusual for me - typically I come home from work and go straight into my PJs.

Hoping Monday has been OK for you all.

Isn't it normal to get straight into your PJs after work then :rotfl:

Joking aside, I agree with you all that having something planned is vital. I feel a fraud on here sometimes as I have DD & DS at home, so shouldn't be lonely & I'm not living a completely single life - but I am lonely. LB - you last post about the stillness becoming overwhelming is something I do worry about so I'm trying to improve my social life.

I hope everyone on here is having a good day/week. I've still got my paperwork to sort through

MummyBobble wrote: »

DD has GCSE's coming up. If anyone has a perfectionist child wanting to do GCSE Art don't let them unless you have the patience of a saint and the bank balance of a lottery winner! (I have neither) We have artwork (from oil paintings to water colours to pastels to charcoal to pencil and more) all over the house and a strong smell of white spirit from cleaning paint brushes. Apparently a visit to a beach is necessary this week to take photos of the shoreline and rock pools as evidence of research for her 10 hour exam and final piece. I've spent more hours in Hobbycr@ft and art shops than I could ever have imagined and have spent well over £100 on materials in the last two weeks :eek: What happened to education being free?

I suppose I should be grateful she's keen to do well, but it is hard doing all the parenting as a singly, still there are lots of us out there doing a great job of it

So which of my mountains shall I tackle first while I have the week off? Paperwork, ironing, general carp? I'll put the kettle on and have a cup of tea while I think about it (this is probably while I never get anything done :rotfl:)

My DD is Y9 & just about to choose her options - she is very keen to do art, but it would never have occurred to me that I'd need to fund her choice to such an extent :eek:. She also wants to do textiles & food technology which I fear could also prove to be quite expensive. I'll just have to absorb the cost as I don't want her to not do these subjects on grounds of cost, so thanks for the warning. I'll have to start another pot....

springdreams

LavenderBees wrote: »

I suspect you could find that the stillness can become overwhelming when it is permanent. Even with the littlies, it's best to try to maintain some kind of a "me-life" if you can, so that you won't be starting from scratch in later years.

Loneliness can creep up on you, and the problem I find is in being completely responsible for motivating myself...so to me, the more lonely I become, the less motivated I am to do something about it, and suddenly I'm on a downward spiral.

But I recognise that in myself and try to do something about it before doing nothing becomes entrenched.

I rarely socialise after work as am usually more than content to get home and shut the world out! I crave being on my own after a day at work and generally find that my energy has been so sucked dry during the day, that I cannot possibly do more than the bare minimum on an evening :eek:.

Weekends are different though, and my aim this year is to find a balance between chore time (if I don't get my chores done, I suffer during the week), socialising and resting. It's difficult with only 24 hrs in the day and everything crammed into the 2 days, and no one to share the chores with. Even reading this back, I can see that the answer is to do chores on evenings to free up the weekend, but honestly, I find that so difficult!

Any other suggestions (man in a cupboard? :rotfl:) gratefully received!

LB xx

I make myself do a chore in the morning before going to work, and then do at least 20 minutes housework each night after work, with the exception of Friday night which is a night off, so that I don't have to do everything on the weekend.

MummyBobble

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

My DD is Y9 & just about to choose her options - she is very keen to do art, but it would never have occurred to me that I'd need to fund her choice to such an extent :eek:. She also wants to do textiles & food technology which I fear could also prove to be quite expensive. I'll just have to absorb the cost as I don't want her to not do these subjects on grounds of cost, so thanks for the warning. I'll have to start another pot....

I've probably made it sound worse than it is (materials have probably come to around £250 over 2 years but a lot of it has been over the last couple of weeks for her final piece and 10 hour exam). It is very time consuming, and there is the cost of materials, but she loves it. Like you, I didn't want her not to do something that she enjoys so much so I've just had to find it from somewhere At least with food technology you'll get fed

You might also want to start thinking about a prom night pot for year 11... We've been prom dress shopping this week, haven't bought anything yet but the cost is :eek::eek::eek: Just as well we love them

RosiePuddingPaws

Help! I think I'm losing my marbles!! Can anyone tell me where my green mug has gone? I'm a singlie and the furry monsters don't get involved with doing the dishes (yet!). I don't have that many mugs (just 6) and haven't broken any recently. So what the heck have I done with it? It's not next to the sofa, or in the kitchen, or by the bed, or in the dishwasher. I don't know where else to look ...

Apart from that, it's been a productive day. I've made the appointment to get a Will sorted out (only two years after my separation, but funds didn't allow before). Just have to work out who gets what, etc. but I thought making the appointment would concentrate my mind. So, thanks to LavenderBees for kick-starting this.

Also arranged to take the car into the garage - I had a recall letter (early in January but who's keeping watch?!).

I don't know what came over me today but thought I would get some things off my "to do" list. I started the day with six items and there are three still to do. (There is, of course, a secondary list but I'm not looking at that one yet. It's the one with mending fences, gutters, etc.)

RPP

melanzana

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Help! I think I'm losing my marbles!! Can anyone tell me where my green mug has gone? I'm a singlie and the furry monsters don't get involved with doing the dishes (yet!). I don't have that many mugs (just 6) and haven't broken any recently. So what the heck have I done with it? It's not next to the sofa, or in the kitchen, or by the bed, or in the dishwasher. I don't know where else to look ...

Apart from that, it's been a productive day. I've made the appointment to get a Will sorted out (only two years after my separation, but funds didn't allow before). Just have to work out who gets what, etc. but I thought making the appointment would concentrate my mind. So, thanks to LavenderBees for kick-starting this.

Also arranged to take the car into the garage - I had a recall letter (early in January but who's keeping watch?!).

I don't know what came over me today but thought I would get some things off my "to do" list. I started the day with six items and there are three still to do. (There is, of course, a secondary list but I'm not looking at that one yet. It's the one with mending fences, gutters, etc.)

RPP

I can tell you with some authority that your green mug has gone the way of my teaspoons! I have to regularly replenish my supply. I think I must throw them in the bin with the tea bag at this stage! Note to self...ahem.

But try the fridge, that's where my bag of sugar and my jar of coffe can often end up... :rotfl:

lostinrates

Good luck mug hunting.

Its there somewhere. If its any consolation I today some bright yellow knickers, missing since -around new year , under the stairs. I have a feeling I thought it might be a good place to compile a delicates Wash then forgot about them.

dibuzz

Have you looked in the microwave? I often put a cup of tea in there and find one still there from last time.

melanzana

Just venting here...

My boss is a MAN, my three colleagues are MEN.

They are from Mars! I will explain sometime. But I didn't have a good day today. I actually kind of, nearly, very nearly, rolled my eyes. But I developed a twitch in my eyelid instead.....

And Boss and colleagues didn't notice anything. Lol.

Then boss gave me THE lecture! Not before colleagues at least, but talk about feeling like a child. I swallowed my rage, lolz.

But I am playing a game. I am taking early retirement in August touch wood, and he doesn't know yet !!!!

No wonder I can have a little smirk at his antics.

Sorry, just had to let off steam. Thanks.

BookWorm

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Help! I think I'm losing my marbles!! Can anyone tell me where my green mug has gone?

Awww hun. I don't really know where to suggest looking though I'm sure you will find it. My nan used to tell me to 'pin the devil' whenever I lost anything. It involved sticking a pin in a cushion lol :rotfl:

melanzana wrote: »

I can tell you with some authority that your green mug has gone the way of my teaspoons! I have to regularly replenish my supply. I think I must throw them in the bin with the tea bag at this stage! Note to self...ahem.

:eek: that happens to my tea spoons too!

melanzana wrote: »

Sorry, just had to let off steam. Thanks.

If it helps.. vent away Sending you hugs :grouphug:

grousescot

Springdreams, I must try your 20mins a night housework routine. I tend to get something done at the weekend but leaving it to then is a bit much.

Lavenderbees, I've got a bit of a commute too so I've pretty much given up on any after-work socialising the odd time something is organised. I guess the workplace can be a source of friendship for some people but that does not appear to be the case for me. I'd much rather my own company at home than an hour or so in the pub with the same people I spend the working day with.

This could be my last weekend at home and fully able for a couple of weeks at least. I have some complex eye surgery being done next week (my eyes have been an issue my whole life) after which will mean some days in hospital and then staying with my parents for a few more days. I'm generally OK with medical stuff but I'm getting nerves now and especially not looking forward to being away from here for a while and losing some degree of independence however temporarily. I'd like to leave the place in a reasonable state so I don't come back to a mess or a cure for the common cold growing somewhere, or my parents need to stop by for whatever reason.

I would be interested to know how open the rest of your are at work when it comes to things like this which will mean time off for more than a few days. I've had it approved officially by the relevant people but I haven't mentioned it to anyone else who I work with (it's quite a small team). It's not something I really want to talk about in the office.