OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

A lot of dh's holiday maybe a third, a half a bit more so e years gets used on medical appointments with me . He doesn't discussit at all anymore. He's found employers unsympathetic to his role as what could be described as a 'carer in partial absentia' .

That's a real shame, and shouldn't be the case in these enlightened days.

I've been very lucky with my employers - local management couldn't have been more supportive. Very much has been a case of "do what you need to help your parents, and don't worry too much about the work" (though in reality, I felt so guilty, I still did as much work as I could...just at stupid hours of the early morning or late evening). Trying to support two very ill and deteriorating rapidly parents, completely on my own, as well as trying to maintain a full time job was difficult and exhausting, to say the least.

They really couldn't have been more supportive, and I am very grateful!

And, of course, very lucky...I realise others aren't so lucky!

lostinrates

LavenderBees wrote: »

That's a real shame, and shouldn't be the case in these enlightened days.

I've been very lucky with my employers - local management couldn't have been more supportive. Very much has been a case of "do what you need to help your parents, and don't worry too much about the work" (though in reality, I felt so guilty, I still did as much work as I could...just at stupid hours of the early morning or late evening). Trying to support two very ill and deteriorating rapidly parents, completely on my own, as well as trying to maintain a full time job was difficult and exhausting, to say the least.

They really couldn't have been more supportive, and I am very grateful!

And, of course, very lucky...I realise others aren't so lucky!

Its mainly because dh's role means unlike some jobs time off isn't as guaranteed, They don't like it for example when they say 'actually that Friday you want off this week, we want you to work, and he explains he is attending hospital with me.

Its very clear in one dept it was holding his career back . I vastly prefer that he come with me when he can, as of course, does he...not for any procedures, I'm ace with them, I do have problems with consultations though, DH's memory is better and he is a clearer communicator and I get nervous nowadays.

Because no holiday time is 'guaranteed' (some bosses move it almost seeming just as an alpha thing) its all very stressful.


Interestingly , one of the bosses DH no longer works under has been really nice since DH stopped working for him and says things like DH intimidated him with his quietness, and DH seemed to know something about everything, or DH was so cultured, and he was one of the alpha call at 4 am just to see how alert you were types, So we think it was some misguided power thing. DH was terrified of him! :rotfl:

greenbee

grousescot wrote: »

I would be interested to know how open the rest of your are at work when it comes to things like this which will mean time off for more than a few days. I've had it approved officially by the relevant people but I haven't mentioned it to anyone else who I work with (it's quite a small team). It's not something I really want to talk about in the office.

I hope the surgery goes well and you don't get too frustrated with the temporary lack of independence and having to spend 24/7 with your parents for a bit!

I've had to be fairly open with my team (and other less close colleagues) over the last couple of years. First hospital visit they didn't know about, but when I came out and was unexpectedly signed off sick with my workload redistributed people knew something was up.

At the time, I wasn't single, and my partner was in the same team - so he had to deal with the concerned enquiries as to how I was getting on and said that when he told them my test results were clear and I would be joining them for a team meeting he reckoned that most of them had worked out how serious the issue was, even if not exactly what it was.

In the first year, after weeks of bed rest and mediation (I worked on bed rest) I had 4 minor ops under GA (and some interesting errors at work, luckily nothing critical!) most of my female colleagues ended up finding out what was wrong and most of my male colleagues have worked out that they really don't want to know.

My employers have been very good - they support me in managing my work round hospital appointments and encourage me to take appropriate sick leave. Then again, they've seen me nearly hospitalised abroad... it required a lot of support from my colleagues, but as there weren't any flights home available, I did actually carry on working rather than retire to my hotel room. Several colleagues offered to take over my work for me, but I explained I needed the distraction. I was, however, able to prevent my workload increasing.

Interestingly, I think I've gained a lot of respect from my colleagues because they are aware that I'm not slacking, they have seen me unwell and they have supported me as a result.

I'm back in hospital for surgery again for the first time in 12 months, and they've all rallied round so that I can take a full month off (2 weeks sick leave, 2 weeks holiday), which has a significant impact on them. In the past, because ops were so frequent, I only ever had a week off, and my consultant has said this isn't enough. I'm lucky that my colleagues agree and are making it easy for me - my boss doesn't have to let me have the holiday straight after the sick leave, but they've insisted that he does so that I can recover properly and increase the chances of avoiding another op any time soon.

I guess I'm very lucky.

calicocat

melanzana wrote: »

Now singlies ..let's talk about laziness.

I have it, does anyone else?

If I can put off till three weeks time, what I could do today, I tend to.

If I can avoid that important letter, I do.

If I can use a baby wipe to dust the table, and not look at the floor, I will.

If I sit with tv remote, laptop and snugglie blanket, I will, even though things need doing.

But who cares?

My bathroom, and kitchen I do try to keep clean. The rest of the house, well.... Just bits and bobs!

Procrastination. Great word, and good for a lazy soul

Just skim reading as at work and this post seemed to jump out at me so far in my readings.


I love lazy days, and can quite easily find a million excuses not to do things I need to....yet the energy to shop or cook, or play with animals.

It's the stuff I find boring and tedious that get put on the back-burner. I have also thoroughly enjoyed days of watching back to back episodes of something I have recorded.


But...if i'm anything I am consistent....i'm totally the same at work and manage to delegate the stuff I find boring, but like the stuff i'm interested in and are important to be up to date and organised....actually thinking about it at work i'm much more of a control freak for things to be in control / organised etc...so not that consistent after all.


But back to the lazy bit.....that is one luxury us singlies have.......no-one to disturb or interrupt those times when mass-laziness hits and you want a slob day.

moneyistooshorttomention

Laziness thoughts:

When in Depressive Mode I do have to keep myself focused and make sure I've got a list of tasks I need to Do Now up on the fridge and that way I cant conveniently "forget" them and do make sure that at least something gets done everyday and everything on that list gets done pretty quickly.

I can procrastinate about things I feel I should do/don't actually have to do unless I feel actively interested in them. You don't want to know how long I've had a few gadgets I haven't yet learned how to use. I've had my Ipad for months. I've had two food processors (one of them a Rolls Royce fancy pants one) for errrr....quite some time.

Right now, as we know, I'm focusing on that house renovation project and full concentration is needed to try and make sure workmen don't make mistakes/damage things. But I'll have no excuse once I'm on top of that...

Will have to make sure I keep the house up to scratch (once I've got it there in the first place:cool:) as its a much more "people popping into others houses" culture round here than I've been used to. Right now Excuses Are Made for the mess Money's house is in...but once the work has been done....then ...yep...Welsh women do seem to be a bit "hotter" on housework...so my standards will have to be adjusted a bit:rotfl:

LavenderBees

Sunday's weather forecast of rain and strong winds makes it perfect for a PJ Day :T

I luvs PJ days

RosiePuddingPaws

Melanzana - I'm supposed to dust the table? But that would mean clearing away the useful little bits of paper (job lists, books I want to get, and general stuff)!

Yes, I can put things off. I keep the lounge clean, the main bathroom done (the en-suite may not get dealt with quite as often as perhaps it should) and the kitchen reasonably clean (although the floor often has to wait to be washed - well the cats only get it dirty immediately it's done).
Oh, and I tidy the duvet up on the bed every morning so it is ready to crawl into at bedtime.

I feel your pain about your boss. I'll cross my fingers for your early retirement. I had one of those moments last week and took some pleasure in handing in my notice. He didn't know that someone had recently approached me about taking a job with them. I hadn't intended to but after he let rip I thought "I'm not paid to take this". And the best bit? I only had to give a week's notice so finish today (although not looking forward to today).

Mug still missing. I don't know where else to look. Still it is better than having lost my knickers LIR. Having said that, I walked into the kitchen this morning and thought there was a dead bird under the radiator. Went to pick it up and it turned out to be a pair of black knickers that had obviously fallen down the back of the radiator!

Metherer - enjoy your concert and LavenderBees enjoy your holiday.

Grousescot - hope all goes well and your recovery is swift.

Oh well, better get off to work and get it over with.

RPP

calicocat

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Melanzana - I'm supposed to dust the table? But that would mean clearing away the useful little bits of paper (job lists, books I want to get, and general stuff)!

Yes, I can put things off. I keep the lounge clean, the main bathroom done (the en-suite may not get dealt with quite as often as perhaps it should) and the kitchen reasonably clean (although the floor often has to wait to be washed - well the cats only get it dirty immediately it's done).
Oh, and I tidy the duvet up on the bed every morning so it is ready to crawl into at bedtime.

I feel your pain about your boss. I'll cross my fingers for your early retirement. I had one of those moments last week and took some pleasure in handing in my notice. He didn't know that someone had recently approached me about taking a job with them. I hadn't intended to but after he let rip I thought "I'm not paid to take this". And the best bit? I only had to give a week's notice so finish today (although not looking forward to today).

Mug still missing. I don't know where else to look. Still it is better than having lost my knickers LIR. Having said that, I walked into the kitchen this morning and thought there was a dead bird under the radiator. Went to pick it up and it turned out to be a pair of black knickers that had obviously fallen down the back of the radiator!

Metherer - enjoy your concert and LavenderBees enjoy your holiday.

Grousescot - hope all goes well and your recovery is swift.

Oh well, better get off to work and get it over with.

RPP

RE: the job leaving.......do it in true Bridget Jones style.......

If he gives you any hassle make sure you let his bony little azz have it.....lol.

I thought Mug was an animal at first then remembered the it in the skim read.

Have a good day everyone....i'm off to kip.

littlemoney

I have just found this thread as I was looking for something else. I have read some entries which look just right for me. I will go back and read more later.

moneyistooshorttomention

Singlie musings for the day, prompted by a thread on another Board where a woman commented on her MIL's attitude having changed since FIL died and she says its down to "having to fight her own battles".

There's a happy medium in knowing who is genuinely trying to be helpful and who isn't and there is therefore "a battle to fight" to get fair treatment (eg at the hands of firms you are dealing with).

I've often thought "Its okay for my mother...she doesn't even realise about half the battles to be fought in life and certainly never fights any of them...because her husband (ie my father) fights them for them both every time".

I do wonder whether women who married relatively young and are still married appreciate how many battles singlies have to "fight"...because they don't have to deal with some or all of them.

Obviously, there are women who find they have married husbands of a type whereby the woman still lands up fighting all the joint battles and some of his as well. But, by and large, I wonder if most long-married women realise.

Feeling more aware than normal of this today, because I am quite some way overdue for having fuel account finalised with the fuel supplier the last owner of this house used. Having had several phonecalls where I've been promised different things and none of them have come to fruition, I was very "firm" with the person I got today and made it quite plain to them that their name and exact words used have been written down and I expect the action they personally have just promised me.

Do other singlies feel that marrieds don't quite understand what its like to have to fight all your own battles EVERY single time?