OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

lostinrates

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

They just don't get the fact that if I don't sort it, no one else will. Does that mean I'm feisty? I've been called bolshy, direct but not feisty.

homestly, I know lots of coupled people who DO get this, not all relationships are equitable. Not all have the same challenges as other couples.

Any tips on how to make some single friends? Or where to find them? I like my married friends (& don't want them to become single just to suit me :rotfl:) but there are huge parts of our lives that are so different & I'd love someone that already knows how "different" (can't think of the right word, sorry, we're not different ) single life is. If I do meet new people then they're all in :

We 're not born married you know . I just meet people. Some are single, some are couples. I've been single, couple and an other option so finding people who understood challenges as an other would have been tricky as its a much smaller pool. But....I think what we look for in friends and 'kindred spirits' is personal. My closest friends probably don't have that much in common with me other than a sense of the ridiculous and the ability to laugh at things yet be prudish about them simultaneously. We aren't homogenous in colours, marital status, politics, background, job, nationality, creed or even musical taste and like of animals.

lobbyludd

I have to say having been in long term relationships for 20 years from when I was 18, I did all the sorting out, fighting battles etc, in fact I found it more difficult when with my exH as people assumed I had support that I didn't have. I have much less to deal with now I am not with him. But I do understand the toll of always having to make the decisions, sort things out, I would sometimes like a supportive other to bounce ideas around with etc.
and right now I'd really like someone (anyone!) to sort the blinking damp out in the kitchen, because I'm at a loss how to do it until summer.

I have friends who are married/in long term relationships, currently single, committedly single, childless/with children, and I am learning to get support from them - I am so used all solutions being me-based that it is hard for me to rely on others - even at work, there are certain projects where I am finding it hard to "encourage" others to do their jobs properly rather than just picking it up and getting it done myself

re long term conditions, mine are mostly mental health based, and I am trying to be more open about them within the work place - there's such a stigma, and I am in lucky position that where I work should be somewhere that this is not a problem, so I've been trying not to hide it. This is easier because right now they are all well controlled. When things have been really bad, I've been lucky that I've been able to call on my brother/mother/father/friends to pick up some of the stuff to do with the children so that they are Ok whilst I try and get better. This would be easier with a supportive partner, but I've not experienced one of those so.....

on the positive side, I am pottering around today (which I love) the kids doing their own thing playing in my room - and it's been sunny this morning, hurrah so I can slowly do my own stuff to my own timetable without having to tend to the needs/wants of another adult

LavenderBees

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Yes, yes & yes! All my friends/work colleagues are married/coupled up & they just don't often get this. I need some minor building work doing (can you all hear my heart sinking?) & asked around at work for recommendations. Without wanting to sound sexist, more females said they'd just tell their OHs to sort it out (thanks, that's really helpful ) or admitted they wouldn't even know how to start sorting it out, so why was I asking? They didn't appreciate my "Your right, what am I thinking about - I'm a woman, I can't possibly sort this out myself. I'll just leave it to carry on leaking" comment.

They just don't get the fact that if I don't sort it, no one else will. Does that mean I'm feisty? I've been called bolshy, direct but not feisty.

I do know that I'm able to cope with most things in life, & I've had friends who say they envy my inner strength (which you get as a singlie or you go under - nothing special about my inner strength). I'm a bit grumpy with all the having to cope though just now, so apologies to all.

Yep, I'm often called "direct" at work...or "too direct"....I'd prefer feisty...I suspect if I was a man, I wouldn't be "too direct"...but that's yet another discussion.

I have no choice other than to be direct, though personally, I often feel I beat around the bush a lot to save others' sensitivities. And yet, I still am "too direct"...can you imagine how direct I'd be if I didn't beat around the bush?! :rotfl:

I, too, am ratty with tiredness at having to cope with everything...just once (or twice) it would be lovely to have someone here to decide on new savings accounts/chase up the joiner for what the h3ck is happening with my missing back door etc etc. On the plus side, it's entirely my decision to start work on my CHICKEN RUN this month Whoop! whoop! :T...I don't have to get anyone to agree with me on that...I just have to budget carefully and be ever more frugal elsewhere to be able to afford it. But it's my decision alone. :T

I don't honestly believe in inner strength. I think it is simply that we either have someone(s) to help us cope or we can cope with what life throws at us or we go under. Never in a million years would I allow myself to go under, so ...I have no choice but to cope. It's a little easier with supportive friends, though, that's for sure.

I must admit to finding my truly singlie friends generally more supportive than those with partners or families. I suspect that's simply because my truly singlie friends know how hard being singlie can be, and those with partners or even families to help support them, really are not aware how difficult it can be to be truly singlie and not have family.

I don't have any suggestions for finding singlie friends...personally, I need to cultivate friends of all kinds...I often feel in a sadly discriminated minority group as a true singlie.

LB xx

mum2one

I too confess I find my underwear is growing legs and going missing - sounds daft but I always try to keep 12 pairs as spares and left in wrapper - plus what have on go.... now done to 4 pairs....

If I was a man - sure be turning them inside out for day 2!!!

xx

spirit

LB I was only wondering just yesterday how your chicken-keeping plans were coming along!

There was another Caged-Hen-Rescue yesterday where over 2,000 were Saved. Some of the rehomers put pics on Faceache yesterday of their #new# hens. Some pics just want to make you weep at how #we# keep our commercial hens :mad:

Well, I sat having my hair cut/restyled and then blowdried yesterday when the power went off (in the salon). It was a perfectly nice sunny day, no apparent reason, no roadworks etc. So there was I hair half done sitting there having a fit of the giggles. Oh and their card payment machine wouldn't work of course so I couldn't pay :money: I'll pop back next week to pay, but at least she didn't charge me full price.

Cleaned my windows yesterday too since the recent bad weather left loads of crepe on them. Then whilst waiting for fencing man, decided to clean my car, so all in all a busy day yesterday.

Today I shall mostly be doing - nuffin. well after my @ldi shop anyway.

MummyBobble

Possibly one of the worst things about being a singlie - being the only one around to take DS to his football match for half nine on a cold, damp Sunday morning... If it was in the afternoon I'd be tempted to take a hip flask , as it is it'll have to be a flask of tea. Then it'll be down to getting DD and DS organised ready to go back to school tomorrow (was doing quite well until ninja cat weed on DD's blazer in the ten seconds it was on the floor having fallen off the coat hanger).

Very busy one this week with DD college interview on Tuesday evening, high school PTA meeting Wednesday and DD's GCSE revision launch evening on Thursday, all after full days in work (couldn't find a yawn smilie but I'm tired just thinking about it...)

There are times when it all feels like too much of a burden and I'd love to be able to walk away from it all (think "hermit living in a cave in the Outer Hebrides" - with internet access of course :rotfl:) All makes me think though that, as much as it would be good to have someone to bounce ideas off and for support, us singlies should be very proud of all that we achieve. We're amazing :T

LavenderBees

I'm doing well on the chicken front - I've got as far as arranging chicken cover for weekends away that I haven't booked yet for chickens I haven't got yet...:o

Am going to be trying to get hold of my lovely outdoor handyman today to have a discuss on his availability in March to get this chook run started properly. Am both excited and anxious...:eek:

Mind, if the chooks turn out to have minds of their own like cats do, they'll be going back. It's not even 8am on a Sunday morning, and the cats have run circles round me - Old-Boy-Cat took advantage of my back being turned to eat food he should not have, while I was trying to grab Young-Boy-Cat for his meds. As I tried to extract Old-Boy-Cat from the illegal food, Young-Boy-Cat took advantage to skedaddle to a place I can't get in at him...

"But, I'm in charge", I whined..completely erroneously, of course. :rotfl:

I'm off back to bed for an hour to recover. Have a lovely day!

LB xx

LavenderBees

MummyBobble wrote: »

was doing quite well until ninja cat weed on DD's blazer in the ten seconds it was on the floor having fallen off the coat hanger

:rotfl:

Hah! That makes me feel better :T

Sorry!

Think Ninja and OBC/YBC are in cahoots....if they had thumbs as well...:eek:

BookWorm

Morning all

I had to reading about the cats running rings round you. Pets really are wily devils lol

Interesting the comments about being 'too direct' or 'feisty'. I have been called that a lot at work and it's never occured to me it could be spin off from being a singlie and having to always stick up for myself or fight for various things.

I'm having the day to myself after entertaining some visiting relatives yesterday. Just trying to work up the energy to get the few chores done so I can concentrate in full on the relaxation part :rotfl:

Have a good day all

RosiePuddingPaws

Had to smile at your cat story this morning LB. I woke up early this morning and could hear a commotion in the kitchen. Went to investigate and then spent the best part of 15 minutes trying to catch the bird that fluffy boy had brought in. At 6.20am! Managed eventually to get it out of the house, fed cats and went back to bed.

I then started to wonder if life was trying to tell me something. I used to have three cats, now just two, and rang the rescue shelter yesterday about one they had on their website. Was planning to go and meet them today but wonder if that's just me being nuts! Then again, going to look doesn't mean bringing one home - does it?

RPP