OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

JustKeepSwimming_2

lostinrates wrote: »

We 're not born married you know . I just meet people. Some are single, some are couples. I've been single, couple and an other option so finding people who understood challenges as an other would have been tricky as its a much smaller pool. But....I think what we look for in friends and 'kindred spirits' is personal. My closest friends probably don't have that much in common with me other than a sense of the ridiculous and the ability to laugh at things yet be prudish about them simultaneously. We aren't homogenous in colours, marital status, politics, background, job, nationality, creed or even musical taste and like of animals.

I have to disagree about not being born married many of my married friends say they feel as if they've been born married as they can't remember life before their OHs...

I'm surprised by how many single people I never meet IYSWIM, so I wonder where they all are! I do meet new people but they are always married & I'd love to meet some that aren't.

lobbyludd wrote: »

<snip>I have friends who are married/in long term relationships, currently single, committedly single, childless/with children, and I am learning to get support from them - I am so used all solutions being me-based that it is hard for me to rely on others - even at work, there are certain projects where I am finding it hard to "encourage" others to do their jobs properly rather than just picking it up and getting it done myself

I loathe relying on others & find it almost impossible to ask for help, often because I feel I can't return the favour. Which is stupid of me as I know that most people, including me, don't offer to help with the expectation of being paid back in some way. And I'm certainly guilty of getting on with things myself as it is so much quicker & less traumatic than encouraging others to pull their weight. Doesn't do us any favours in the long run though, does it?

re long term conditions, mine are mostly mental health based, and I am trying to be more open about them within the work place - there's such a stigma, and I am in lucky position that where I work should be somewhere that this is not a problem, so I've been trying not to hide it. This is easier because right now they are all well controlled. When things have been really bad, I've been lucky that I've been able to call on my brother/mother/father/friends to pick up some of the stuff to do with the children so that they are Ok whilst I try and get better. This would be easier with a supportive partner, but I've not experienced one of those so.....

on the positive side, I am pottering around today (which I love) the kids doing their own thing playing in my room - and it's been sunny this morning, hurrah so I can slowly do my own stuff to my own timetable without having to tend to the needs/wants of another adult

I expect long term conditions are easier to cope with when you have a partner (but that does really depend on the partner :rotfl:). I'm glad I don't have to consider the needs of my ex OH now - he'd be nagging me to make tea after my hospital appointments & going out with mates/working extra hours on a "project" leaving me to cope with our 2 (both under 6 when we split up). I'm much happier now, & with you on the pottering.

LavenderBees wrote: »

Yep, I'm often called "direct" at work...or "too direct"....I'd prefer feisty...I suspect if I was a man, I wouldn't be "too direct"...but that's yet another discussion.

I have no choice other than to be direct, though personally, I often feel I beat around the bush a lot to save others' sensitivities. And yet, I still am "too direct"...can you imagine how direct I'd be if I didn't beat around the bush?! :rotfl:

I, too, am ratty with tiredness at having to cope with everything...just once (or twice) it would be lovely to have someone here to decide on new savings accounts/chase up the joiner for what the h3ck is happening with my missing back door etc etc. On the plus side, it's entirely my decision to start work on my CHICKEN RUN this month Whoop! whoop! :T...I don't have to get anyone to agree with me on that...I just have to budget carefully and be ever more frugal elsewhere to be able to afford it. But it's my decision alone. :T

I don't honestly believe in inner strength. I think it is simply that we either have someone(s) to help us cope or we can cope with what life throws at us or we go under. Never in a million years would I allow myself to go under, so ...I have no choice but to cope. It's a little easier with supportive friends, though, that's for sure.

I must admit to finding my truly singlie friends generally more supportive than those with partners or families. I suspect that's simply because my truly singlie friends know how hard being singlie can be, and those with partners or even families to help support them, really are not aware how difficult it can be to be truly singlie and not have family.

I don't have any suggestions for finding singlie friends...personally, I need to cultivate friends of all kinds...I often feel in a sadly discriminated minority group as a true singlie.

LB xx

LB - if you were male you'd be classed as "good leadership material" & "effective" - not feisty

You have summed up a lot of what I was trying to say much better than me, so thanks. Exciting news on the chicken run - I'm jealous. Will you be posting pictures?

I'm back to work tomorrow - determined to potter for my last day off (but will have to iron clothes ready for next week ).

Hope Sunday is a day of peace for all.

lobbyludd

the cause of one patch of damp has been fixed so that just needs to dry out now (winds had dislodged guttering slightly, rain had been coursing down wall and through holes where the hose pipe holder was attached) so guttering realigned, hosepipe holder removed, holes filled and now painted - which has mercifully dried as we have had nearly 24 hrs with no rain

the other will need some building work that ex commissioned removed, but not till the summer. Today is other DIY, cleaning and general kid herding, al of which is dull but necessary. hope others have productive/fun days.

Byatt

Love the cat stories, RPP, don't be surprised if you come back with a cat!

I'm cat sitting, so miss my lovely boy right now.

I have a mix of friends/acquaintences, in that 3 are married or have partners, but because partners work away (or have done), they have to forge a singlie social life. I'm not friends with the partners and feel uncomfortable about joining them as a couple for outings.

I also led a singlie life because of ex's job so right now can't see any positives in being married to the man :rotfl:. I have, since a child, been self sufficient and although I don't think I would be described as feisty, I am quietly persistent and have often surprised people including family, when i suddenly speak my mind. Many a time I'm underestimated, people equating quietness for "walk over."

I don't have inner strength, but I am bloody minded!

And on that note, I do have a horrible headache, but at least I can just lie about looking pale and interesting.

spirit

LavenderBees wrote: »

I'm doing well on the chicken front - I've got as far as arranging chicken cover for weekends away that I haven't booked yet for chickens I haven't got yet...:o

Am going to be trying to get hold of my lovely outdoor handyman today to have a discuss on his availability in March to get this chook run started properly. Am both excited and anxious...:eek:

Mind, if the chooks turn out to have minds of their own like cats do, they'll be going back. It's not even 8am on a Sunday morning, and the cats have run circles round me - Old-Boy-Cat took advantage of my back being turned to eat food he should not have, while I was trying to grab Young-Boy-Cat for his meds. As I tried to extract Old-Boy-Cat from the illegal food, Young-Boy-Cat took advantage to skedaddle to a place I can't get in at him...

"But, I'm in charge", I whined..completely erroneously, of course. :rotfl:

I'm off back to bed for an hour to recover. Have a lovely day!

LB xx

They absolutely do have minds of their own LB. I miss mine dreadfully still, but the one aspect I don't miss is getting up at first light to let them out.

LavenderBees

spirit wrote: »

They absolutely do have minds of their own LB. I miss mine dreadfully still, but the one aspect I don't miss is getting up at first light to let them out.

Yeah, I know...have had chooks before and loved their personalities...I said that a bit tongue in cheek

I'm going to invest in a pop hole opener...think it will pay back tenfold over the years...

ETA will post piccies as and when, I'm perfectly happy to bore on for England on this one. Apols in advance! :rotfl:

LavenderBees

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Then again, going to look doesn't mean bringing one home - does it?

RPP

Oh YES!

:rotfl:

LavenderBees

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

I'm surprised by how many single people I never meet IYSWIM, so I wonder where they all are! I do meet new people but they are always married & I'd love to meet some that aren't.

I suspect we're all pottering around at home in our PJs....:o

boddy

LB We are

groatie_queen

Same here

LavenderBees

Well, heaves a big sigh of relief, I think that's my living will written up. Hopefully, I haven't left myself open to being bumped off if I simply go to the opticians for an eye test! :eek:

Thank goodness for the guidance notes, and also recent experience of dealing with my parents' different illnesses. I am now so much more aware of what can happen, and what I would not want to happen etc.

Just need to sign it tomorrow at work, and have a couple of colleagues witness it; then see my GP to discuss it and hopefully have him sign it to agree I am of sound mind to have written it. Then I simply need to photocopy it and distribute it to my trusted friends.

Jobs a good'un, and another grot thing almost off my list. I surely must be getting close to when weekends don't include jobs like these...must be!