OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

MummyBobble

Ok, the marbles, green mug, teaspoons and possibly several pairs of knickers have most likely run away with my will to live (MIA, presumed dead, after this weeks prom dress shopping... lostinrates, they may also be accompanied by a WW2 flying hat and goggles :rotfl:). At least we now have the dress and just need to sort out shoes, jewellery, hair, make up etc etc. Oh my life, this prom malarkey is such hard work with a sporty 16 DD who doesn't do dresses, heels and make up.

metherer enjoy your trip, we all need to put our-self first once in a while

Hey ho, I think my bed is calling, and while DD and DS are at their dad's tonight I will not be woken in the early hours by a sleepwalking DS chunnering about "finding it", pulling the duvet off me to look for it, searching through the pillows (including the ones under my head) before throwing himself down next to me, pulling the duvet back over himself (but not me) and muttering for another five minutes that it didn't matter and he'd find it in the morning. Still haven't a clue what that was about :rotfl:

Night all xx

calicocat

On the issue MTStM brought up...when I used to work with the elderly in both a ward and community setting, it was always the singlies or those who had been widowed younger in life and therefore singlie for quite a bit of time that managed to cope much better. This I imagine is due to them having to get on with it and make their own decisions/sort their own problems.


Those who got to old age then found themselves a singlie found coping often very hard and easily became depressed....so I guess the bonus for us it that we won't be so fearsome in old age as used to being more alone.

I remember when my mum first got divorced making a decision seemed to be rocket science, which I found at the time odd, but understand it now. The type of personality you are will also play a part obviously, but people get used to a way of living and it takes time for some to adapt and find coping strategies/skills, and I think the older you are the harder it can be for a lot of folk.


To be honest, the spinsters....no I mean singlies, we're always the ones I loved being with.......often very feisty, had the it's my way or the highway attitude, and most certainly weren't going down (or even to the bath or the shops) without a fight.


It's a good few years now since I worked in that field, but one of my favourite clients was a lovely feisty woman, refused to do anything for days, I sat with her for hours and days trying to see if she would change her clothes at least....wasn't having any of it . Eventually would talk to me and it turned out she wanted to know if her budgie was ok...so I got it brought into the ward.....ended up looking after both of them for a few weeks. I don't suppose that would be allowed now....some health and safety rule would make it a no-go.
Good for you was my thought though.


Right, i'm rambling on now....over tired I think.


P.S......what do the Welsh look like??, I wouldn't mind knowing too.


Edit....maybe I am a true Welsh person looking it up, I have long dark hair with a tinge of red in it, i'm short, have green eyes, and freckles in the summer, but am lighter in skin tone than some. depends on which site you look at though.....lol.

spirit

Morning everyone,

I hope you are all well and enjoying the (brief possibly) respite from the incessant rain and wind.

I can't comment on the Welsh theme since I'm not from there and don't know anyone who is.

Re the laziness, my ex h. often accused me of being lazy. I wasn't and am not but it was his way of getting me to do what he wanted me to. I'm probably lazy in the evenings. I'm very much a morning person and usually get all my housework done, sort the cats (and chooks when I had them), have a bath/hairwash and get ready for work and leave the house by 8am.

When I get home I do what has to be done and in bed before 10pm.

DD (bridezilla) appears to be avoiding speaking to me for some reason. Since I can't be bothered playing her silly games, I'm leaving her to stew in it for a bit.

The diet is going well, I'm going to try on some size 10 stuff later :T

Also got the hairdressers this morning. I don't go often I must admit, but am preparing for the wedding in early Sept. At the moment my hair is fairly long and tend to wear it in a pony tail or clipped up. However it looks a bit boring being all one length. For the Big Day, I want to achieve an Elegant Mother of the Bride look and am thinking French Plait or chignon. Will see what I come home with :eek:

Fence man is popping over later this afternoon to look at replacing 2 more panels :mad: I've pretty much replaced them all in the last 2 years.

Oh an am nearly there with the Will re-doing. Should look at the living Will and other stuff soon.

Right, better get cracking. Have a good day.

moneyistooshorttomention

LOL at Calico's description of long-time singlies not going down without fighting. You've met my next door neighbour then have you?:rotfl:She's a former career woman and I wouldn't like to see anyone trying to take her for a ride...I know who'd likely come off worst:rotfl:. She's got it worked out....and I've been told "everyone does everything for her" (as in doing her favours when she needs them). Yep....we do get on okay and she watches proceedings here with great interest.

Hmmm...looks...short = tick/freckles in summer = tick/green eyes = tick. Been told I'd look lovely in Welsh costume:rotfl: But fair enough that I can blend into a group of Germans on holiday (if I'm dressed smart casual) and no-one realises until I start talking.

princesstippytoes

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

LOL at Calico's description of long-time singlies not going down without fighting. You've met my next door neighbour then have you?:rotfl:She's a former career woman and I wouldn't like to see anyone trying to take her for a ride...I know who'd likely come off worst:rotfl:. She's got it worked out....and I've been told "everyone does everything for her" (as in doing her favours when she needs them). Yep....we do get on okay and she watches proceedings here with great interest.

Hmmm...looks...short = tick/freckles in summer = tick/green eyes = tick. Been told I'd look lovely in Welsh costume:rotfl: But fair enough that I can blend into a group of Germans on holiday (if I'm dressed smart casual) and no-one realises until I start talking.

Hey ceridwen!! :hello: :j It's great to see you back on Old Style! How's retirement suiting you? :beer:

boddy

Well it's been quite a week and I'm pleased I'm on my own so I could come back home to quiet.

Daughters mother in law was blue lighted into hospital on Wednesday from the GPs. She had pains in chest since Monday and told no one. Her brother had been taken in the night before. So we were flitting between them. MIL was in resus for a time. She was taken to larger hospital to have stents put in and got home yesterday. My grandson was in yesterday as he has an abcess in a rather delicate place. Has an op this morning to sort that. Feel for my daughter and she is just shattered. I keep thinking of the Yaz song The Only Way Is Up.

So healthy eating gone out of window.

Regarding single elderly people. My mother was on her own for a long time. Talk about feisty. Led me a merry dance at times. Knew what she wanted to do and did it.

LavenderBees

Sorry to hear about all your family health problems, Boddy, hope everything settles down soon!!

Spirit - you sound like you're going great guns on your list. Well done! It'll spur me on to keep going with mine this weekend. Enjoy your hair pampering sesh.

Calicocat - I laughed out loud at the thought of all us feisty singlies not going for baths without a fight. Something to look forward to! :rotfl:

Well, I've fed the pusses and the birds this morning, as well as few other wee chores, and am now on my way back to bed with a cuppa (and a couple of chocolate digestives) for an hour. I then intend to get up and do some light lottie work,and make the most of what looks like a nice morning.

Have a lovely day, Everyone! I luvs weekends....:T

LB xx

BookWorm

Morning everyone :wave:

Just a quick visit from me this morning. I'm expecting visitors in a couple of hours so need to get myself and house presentable lol

Have a wonderful day whatever you are all doing

BBL

BW

JustKeepSwimming_2

Darn site keeps logging me out so I've lost a few posts & need to play catch up again :mad:

To all those still hunting for various items - I find my lost things either in the fridge, the bathroom or the car...

MummyBobble wrote: »

I've probably made it sound worse than it is (materials have probably come to around £250 over 2 years but a lot of it has been over the last couple of weeks for her final piece and 10 hour exam). It is very time consuming, and there is the cost of materials, but she loves it. Like you, I didn't want her not to do something that she enjoys so much so I've just had to find it from somewhere At least with food technology you'll get fed

You might also want to start thinking about a prom night pot for year 11... We've been prom dress shopping this week, haven't bought anything yet but the cost is :eek::eek::eek: Just as well we love them

We have a huge art stash anyway, so hopefully we can use some of that. DD is quite happy to have art supplies for birthday presents so we may do that too. Not sure if being able to eat her food tech offerings will be a plus :rotfl:

She's already decided she won't be wearing a prom dress (she is not a girly girl at all) but a tuxedo which hopefully we can hire.

grousescot wrote: »

Springdreams, I must try your 20mins a night housework routine. I tend to get something done at the weekend but leaving it to then is a bit much.

I love this idea but how do I ensure that while I'm doing my 20 minutes my DD & DS aren't creating more mess . So far we've had a craft session with glitter (sigh), a lego sorting out session that has stopped halfway & DD is trying to sort out her clothes but has lost momentum so her room is an explosion of fabrics.... I always feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle before I start

This could be my last weekend at home and fully able for a couple of weeks at least. I have some complex eye surgery being done next week (my eyes have been an issue my whole life) after which will mean some days in hospital and then staying with my parents for a few more days. I'm generally OK with medical stuff but I'm getting nerves now and especially not looking forward to being away from here for a while and losing some degree of independence however temporarily. I'd like to leave the place in a reasonable state so I don't come back to a mess or a cure for the common cold growing somewhere, or my parents need to stop by for whatever reason.

I would be interested to know how open the rest of your are at work when it comes to things like this which will mean time off for more than a few days. I've had it approved officially by the relevant people but I haven't mentioned it to anyone else who I work with (it's quite a small team). It's not something I really want to talk about in the office.

I hope it all goes well for you Grousecot - I have a long term condition/disability that I had to disclose at interview, so no hope of keeping it "secret" (which I wouldn't have been able to get away with!). My boss & my close team members know, but the wider dept. don't although they do ask why I'm off at regular intervals for treatment.

I'd much rather have been able to keep my details private - I don't like being asked about it (as it is a condition that will get worse at some point & for which there is limited treatment which I'd rather not have to consider). But I know I have to give them the basics so I'm as matter of fact as I can be when discussing it. I'm able to fool most of my other colleagues with whom I don't work that closely.

This is one area where I hate how others treat me as a singlie - I'm used to going to hospital appointments alone & just getting on with the treatment (as we have no choice as singlies) but colleagues tell me how sad they feel for me that I have to "face it all alone" & bang on about "how lonely it must be" & even "are you sure there isn't someone who could go with you" just in case I'd forgotten I have family/a partner that I could have taken all along! :rotfl: I know they mean well, but to me it just highlights how alone I am, emphasised when they all agree that they just couldn't go through all that without their mum/OH/sister etc.

I've made my situation sound far more dramatic that it is - I am fine with going alone & its great not to have to pretend in front of anyone when I get home & I can just go straight to bed. Their sympathy is the hardest part.

melanzana wrote: »

Now singlies ..let's talk about laziness.

I have it, does anyone else?

If I can put off till three weeks time, what I could do today, I tend to.

If I can avoid that important letter, I do.

If I can use a baby wipe to dust the table, and not look at the floor, I will.

If I sit with tv remote, laptop and snugglie blanket, I will, even though things need doing.

But who cares?

My bathroom, and kitchen I do try to keep clean. The rest of the house, well.... Just bits and bobs!

Procrastination. Great word, and good for a lazy soul

With you on all of those & I'd be a lot worse if I didn't have DD & DS to cook for, sort laundry etc.

JustKeepSwimming_2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Singlie musings for the day, prompted by a thread on another Board where a woman commented on her MIL's attitude having changed since FIL died and she says its down to "having to fight her own battles".

There's a happy medium in knowing who is genuinely trying to be helpful and who isn't and there is therefore "a battle to fight" to get fair treatment (eg at the hands of firms you are dealing with).

I've often thought "Its okay for my mother...she doesn't even realise about half the battles to be fought in life and certainly never fights any of them...because her husband (ie my father) fights them for them both every time".

I do wonder whether women who married relatively young and are still married appreciate how many battles singlies have to "fight"...because they don't have to deal with some or all of them.

Obviously, there are women who find they have married husbands of a type whereby the woman still lands up fighting all the joint battles and some of his as well. But, by and large, I wonder if most long-married women realise.

Feeling more aware than normal of this today, because I am quite some way overdue for having fuel account finalised with the fuel supplier the last owner of this house used. Having had several phonecalls where I've been promised different things and none of them have come to fruition, I was very "firm" with the person I got today and made it quite plain to them that their name and exact words used have been written down and I expect the action they personally have just promised me.

Do other singlies feel that marrieds don't quite understand what its like to have to fight all your own battles EVERY single time?

Yes, yes & yes! All my friends/work colleagues are married/coupled up & they just don't often get this. I need some minor building work doing (can you all hear my heart sinking?) & asked around at work for recommendations. Without wanting to sound sexist, more females said they'd just tell their OHs to sort it out (thanks, that's really helpful ) or admitted they wouldn't even know how to start sorting it out, so why was I asking? They didn't appreciate my "Your right, what am I thinking about - I'm a woman, I can't possibly sort this out myself. I'll just leave it to carry on leaking" comment.

They just don't get the fact that if I don't sort it, no one else will. Does that mean I'm feisty? I've been called bolshy, direct but not feisty.

lostinrates wrote: »

I would say my single friends tackle this differently, and it highlights an important recurring theme, the importance of building a good supportive network that doesn't have to be family. However, I have friends who are sisters in their forties who live together and are definitely each others ' support'. Others have good friends. ( I do rent a husband to a couple of old female friends of his who want a bloke sometimes for something, particularly week night events).

I'd say my friends have filled in for DH in a traditional spouse support role a few times in the last year (one drove me to and froma procedure they wouldn't let me get public transport or a taxi from afterwards for example, nor drive myself) And similarly, DH , I or both of us have ticked friends off for overstepping boundaries, not sorting themselves out in one way or another, and been their cheer leaders when they needed that instead. Found 'the best' divorce solicitors and helped find people who knew things we didn't know about areas peoe were relocating too etc. cannot thing what else, but sure there is stuff.

Friends and that network of support should be a back up to help us fight our OWN battles ideally, married or not. That said, as a married, you bet I know I'm blessed, and you bet We work bloody hard at staying so blessed when we need to, and we're lucky ones, its comparitively easy for us to stay so blessed!

Any tips on how to make some single friends? Or where to find them? I like my married friends (& don't want them to become single just to suit me :rotfl:) but there are huge parts of our lives that are so different & I'd love someone that already knows how "different" (can't think of the right word, sorry, we're not different ) single life is. If I do meet new people then they're all in couples....

calicocat wrote: »

On the issue MTStM brought up...when I used to work with the elderly in both a ward and community setting, it was always the singlies or those who had been widowed younger in life and therefore singlie for quite a bit of time that managed to cope much better. This I imagine is due to them having to get on with it and make their own decisions/sort their own problems.


Those who got to old age then found themselves a singlie found coping often very hard and easily became depressed....so I guess the bonus for us it that we won't be so fearsome in old age as used to being more alone.

I remember when my mum first got divorced making a decision seemed to be rocket science, which I found at the time odd, but understand it now. The type of personality you are will also play a part obviously, but people get used to a way of living and it takes time for some to adapt and find coping strategies/skills, and I think the older you are the harder it can be for a lot of folk.


To be honest, the spinsters....no I mean singlies, we're always the ones I loved being with.......often very feisty, had the it's my way or the highway attitude, and most certainly weren't going down (or even to the bath or the shops) without a fight.....

Good points Calicocat - I do know that I'm able to cope with most things in life, & I've had friends who say they envy my inner strength (which you get as a singlie or you go under - nothing special about my inner strength). I'm a bit grumpy with all the having to cope though just now, so apologies to all.

Have a good w/e all - I've finally done Mount Paperwork so am off to tackle Mount Washing next. All rock'n'roll here :beer: