OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

kacie

Morning,

Got a couple of days off now, reading about people sorting paperwork out, has reminded me that I should hunt down where my birth certificate is, I couldn't find it when I last needed it.

I work in a care home, and it's got me thinking about what will happen when I'm older, not so much in who would take care of me, but would anyone visit me.

moneyistooshorttomention

Kacie,

Whew...I can be a bit depressive at times...but I never think in terms of "when" I go into a carehome. If I thought differently to the way I actually DO think, then it would be "IF" I go into a care home (not when) iyswim.

Thinking the way I actually do though...I know of a certainty that I will never go into one (my personal choice for me...I'd sooner pay out £10,000 and head for Switzerland if my health ever got that bad).

Each to their own on that one...and that's just my personal take on that.

Errrm...I am actually trying to cheer you up (in my convoluted way)...as I doubt that its more than a small proportion of the population that ever goes into a care home, as I would doubt the "need" arising for most people.

Maybe, I'm wearing blinkers here and I'll land up on that plane and so will many of my contemporaries.....:cool:

kacie

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Kacie,

Whew...I can be a bit depressive at times...but I never think in terms of "when" I go into a carehome. If I thought differently to the way I actually DO think, then it would be "IF" I go into a care home (not when) iyswim.

Thinking the way I actually do though...I know of a certainty that I will never go into one (my personal choice for me...I'd sooner pay out £10,000 and head for Switzerland if my health ever got that bad).

Each to their own on that one...and that's just my personal take on that.

Errrm...I am actually trying to cheer you up (in my convoluted way)...as I doubt that its more than a small proportion of the population that ever goes into a care home, as I would doubt the "need" arising for most people.

Maybe, I'm wearing blinkers here and I'll land up on that plane and so will many of my contemporaries.....:cool:

I would hope I would never have to go into one as well, but the thought of not having any family to visit and help out when needed, whether it be to take me places if I'm unable to drive or to do some shopping for me.

LavenderBees

Personally, I wouldn't try to look that far ahead...that way madness lies, methinks. And I'd be wary of depressing yourself by projecting what you need now onto what you may need many years in the future.

I have to say that my own experience of a Care Home (the one my Mam was in) was a good one, and personally, I wouldn't be too depressed if I needed help as I got older. Many of the residents don't have visitors or, if they do, not regular visitors. But they have company as and when they want it (i.e. amongst themselves), there are activities and outings if they want them and are fit enough for them, and the CH staff were lovely, friendly, lots of hugs and smiles to go round. For those too frail or too ill to look after themselves, this looked to me to be a far better solution than them struggling on in their own homes with much less company/much less support and no hugs/smiles.

I know we only ever hear of horror stories about CHs but as I say, my own experience was actually much more pleasant. We can't all die in our sleep after a perfectly healthy life. Wish that we could.

My own needs now will be so different in 20-30 years time, I'm certainly not going to spend time now worrying about this. As I know only too well, life can turn on a sixpence, so personally, I need to concentrate on squeezing as much life out of today as I can.

As my parents got older, they seemed quite content that their world became smaller. I don't know how old you are, Kacie, but please don't spend time now worrying about this. And if you work in a CH, hats off to you ...it's bloomin hard work and far too badly paid in my view. But please give your people a hug or a smile, it will make their day, and make you feel so much better too.

A few recent posts on this thread has again given me a kick up the bum...I completely agree that company (and especially feeling valued) is essential to our well being. Because of feeling so flat and down, I was conscious that I'd been starting to drift away from making an effort to seek company and do nice things, but I really cba to make myself move. But today, having seen GQ's post about smiling, and the one from Byatt about the need for company, I have accepted an invite from my walking group for a wee meal out in a couple of weeks, and chased up another with a friend that was made a while ago for this coming weekend, but I don't know if we're still meeting up.

Small steps, and I can't say I have a ready smile just yet (those muscles feel a little rusty, truth to tell), but it's a start...and while the effort needed is quite huge at the moment, I'm hopeful it won't always be so.

So, thanks to you all...please keep motivating me....there's a challenge!

:rotfl:

LB xx

lostinrates

LavenderBees wrote: »

Personally, I wouldn't try to look that far ahead...that way madness lies, methinks. And I'd be wary of depressing yourself by projecting what you need now onto what you may need many years in the future.

I have to say that my own experience of a Care Home (the one my Mam was in) was a good one, and personally, I wouldn't be too depressed if I needed help as I got older. Many of the residents don't have visitors or, if they do, not regular visitors. But they have company as and when they want it (i.e. amongst themselves), there are activities and outings if they want them and are fit enough for them, and the CH staff were lovely, friendly, lots of hugs and smiles to go round. For those too frail or too ill to look after themselves, this looked to me to be a far better solution than them struggling on in their own homes with much less company/much less support and no hugs/smiles.

I know we only ever hear of horror stories about CHs but as I say, my own experience was actually much more pleasant. We can't all die in our sleep after a perfectly healthy life. Wish that we could.

My own needs now will be so different in 20-30 years time, I'm certainly not going to spend time now worrying about this. As I know only too well, life can turn on a sixpence, so personally, I need to concentrate on squeezing as much life out of today as I can.

As my parents got older, they seemed quite content that their world became smaller. I don't know how old you are, Kacie, but please don't spend time now worrying about this. And if you work in a CH, hats off to you ...it's bloomin hard work and far too badly paid in my view. But please give your people a hug or a smile, it will make their day, and make you feel so much better too.

A few recent posts on this thread has again given me a kick up the bum...I completely agree that company (and especially feeling valued) is essential to our well being. Because of feeling so flat and down, I was conscious that I'd been starting to drift away from making an effort to seek company and do nice things, but I really cba to make myself move. But today, having seen GQ's post about smiling, and the one from Byatt about the need for company, I have accepted an invite from my walking group for a wee meal out in a couple of weeks, and chased up another with a friend that was made a while ago for this coming weekend, but I don't know if we're still meeting up.

Small steps, and I can't say I have a ready smile just yet (those muscles feel a little rusty, truth to tell), but it's a start...and while the effort needed is quite huge at the moment, I'm hopeful it won't always be so.

So, thanks to you all...please keep motivating me....there's a challenge!

:rotfl:

LB xx

Good for you lavenderbees!


I wasn't expected to make any great age, but now I am well in an unexpected thirties I'm a bit nervous we haven't made pension provision for me. (Dh's should cover me if that happens). With no children and little family in UK and increasing needs for me at least we have discussed this a lot.

Our house, though rural and my business though unusual for some one with unreliable health, was chosen with the aim of living independently (all be it with help brought in) for as long as possible .

My non resident parent (a singlie) is moving and I am urging them to consider a move that will enable them to have choices and independance for as long as possible too. Its not good to dwell, but it is good to consider the future IMO.


Very, very eased you are going out LB.

calicocat

Quick question folks as running out of data time on phone and for some reason is taking ages to load and won't work to update more.


Old furniture, just bought old set of drawers (I love old stuff and glad to be getting back to it). Drawer (one) is seriously sticking..used candle wax in past...not always brilliant, any other ideas?

calicocat

lostinrates wrote: »

Good for you lavenderbees!


I wasn't expected to make any great age, but now I am well in an unexpected thirties I'm a bit nervous we haven't made pension provision for me. (Dh's should cover me if that happens). With no children and little family in UK and increasing needs for me at least we have discussed this a lot.

Our house, though rural and my business though unusual for some one with unreliable health, was chosen with the aim of living independently (all be it with help brought in) for as long as possible .

My non resident parent (a singlie) is moving and I am urging them to consider a move that will enable them to have choices and independance for as long as possible too. Its not good to dwell, but it is good to consider the future IMO.


Very, very eased you are going out LB.

I have watched or read your posts Lostrinates on various different subjects..(lurking)..and for a while now.....what I do find cool is your attitude to things. Your comprehension is beyond your years .

lostinrates

calicocat wrote: »

I have watched or read your posts Lostrinates on various different subjects..(lurking)..and for a while now.....what I do find cool is your attitude to things. Your comprehension is beyond your years .

You've been reading me for a while.......I've got older;)


I'm getting a round bearing else where on Mse so its not a universal opinion!!!! :rotfl:


Honestly, I have dark times. Not very often, but a few. There was that summer two years ago when I started losing sight and that had never been predicted and I was TERRIFIED. I thought I was dieing that night so......I got up and got dressed so at least they wouldn't carry me out naked. (I lay on a (wet , bathed with earlier that day) towel too in the hope that would help with clean up:rotfl:) , . . That whole summer was awful.

On Friday I got one of the pains I sometimes get but in a new place and I couldn't breathe properly. By the time DH got home in they ravel chaos I was convinced that I was dieing then too.

Tbh, apart from times like that I have a pretty unhealthy opinion that I might infact be indestructible. When I do actually croak I think we'll all be a bit surprised tbh:rotfl: When they said originally I was a goner and all the things I wouldn't do I think I was just too stubborn to not prove them wrong. . I cannot claim its any positive character traight, I think its just been a beneficial outlet for some fairly unattractive ones. :rotfl:

But thank you , sincerely for the compliment. . There is great wisdom not in my posts but elsewhere in Mse. Il have found it in many posts. Wisdom, laughter and just different things to think about.

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

You've been reading me for a while.......I've got older;)


I'm getting a round bearing else where on Mse so its not a universal opinion!!!! :rotfl:


Honestly, I have dark times. Not very often, but a few. There was that summer two years ago when I started losing sight and that had never been predicted and I was TERRIFIED. I thought I was dieing that night so......I got up and got dressed so at least they wouldn't carry me out naked. (I lay on a (wet , bathed with earlier that day) towel too in the hope that would help with clean up:rotfl:) , . . That whole summer was awful.

On Friday I got one of the pains I sometimes get but in a new place and I couldn't breathe properly. By the time DH got home in they ravel chaos I was convinced that I was dieing then too.

Tbh, apart from times like that I have a pretty unhealthy opinion that I might infact be indestructible. When I do actually croak I think we'll all be a bit surprised tbh:rotfl: When they said originally I was a goner and all the things I wouldn't do I think I was just too stubborn to not prove them wrong. . I cannot claim its any positive character traight, I think its just been a beneficial outlet for some fairly unattractive ones. :rotfl:

But thank you , sincerely for the compliment. . There is great wisdom not in my posts but elsewhere in Mse. Il have found it in many posts. Wisdom, laughter and just different things to think about.

Oh, I think you're pretty special, too. I always find your posts very thought provoking, and yes, a fair bit of wisdom in them! That's why you have honorary membership of our Singlie thread. The moment you post some rubbish, you're out... :rotfl:

Seriously though, I'm so sorry you have such tough times. That must be very hard on you and OH, espesh with your OH working away such a lot. It all certainly sounds like it's taught you to make the most of what you can when you can.

LB xx

lostinrates

LavenderBees wrote: »

Oh, I think you're pretty special, too. I always find your posts very thought provoking, and yes, a fair bit of wisdom in them! That's why you have honorary membership of our Singlie thread. The moment you post some rubbish, you're out... :rotfl:

Seriously though, I'm so sorry you have such tough times. That must be very hard on you and OH, espesh with your OH working away such a lot. It all certainly sounds like it's taught you to make the most of what you can when you can.

LB xx

My oh more than me, .

Oh, no, the to not be too foolish. :eek:

EVERY BODY has tough times. EVERY BODY.

I really think it all works out or we adapt or something. If the most stress you get is that you lose your keys then when you lose something else, like your car, its more than you can cope with. I find someone's plight in that situation as worthy of sympathy as someone's greater tragedy....we just do what we have to to get through the day.


I have the BEST LUCK in the world, really I do. I also have some pretty cruddy luck. I rarely get a middling hand that's all. :rotfl: And as a result I have developed the kind of temperament that deals with that quite well. .


What. I find I really benefit from on Mse are fresh eyes on a situation. And I hope sometimes I can offer that.

I fail abysmally (with regret) at knowing sometimes when to say ' there there' because I want to say...'hey, actually.....look if you take those lemons........':o. When people don't always want lemonade or they KNOW about lemon aid, they just want some sympathy.


I don't know about anyone else but I don't really walk around thinking about my health that much. The things that get me down are not being ale to keep my house clean or not making progress on the house, not enough time with DH , worries about the future ....lots of the same as singlies,...no kids, what about family responsibility, wills....pets.....money. Responsibility and obligations. Same old worries really. Health? It can get any one of us......I just wish I'd had a bit longer before it got me, you know? But I had my childhood, early adult hood, and many don't get that