Male Approaching 40 still trying to find "the one"

NWOIHTS

Person_one wrote: »

A bit of self-critiquing can be very useful.

Mostly though, please try to remember that women are human beings, that's quite important.

I will do......If anyone is on match then they can ask to see it.

paulineb_2

stebiz wrote: »

He said he wants a 'suitable partner'. I think it's reasonable to expect on a first date to find out a bit about them. Do they like kids, want kids, hate kids, like career, like holidays, been married before.

That may well be some people's idea of a good first date but it might make other people run a mile in the opposite direction.

Hermia

paulineb wrote: »

That may well be some people's idea of a good first date but it might make other people run a mile in the opposite direction.

Yes, I think that would be disastrous on a first date. I don't want kids and whilst I would certainly let a bloke know early on I wouldn't bring it up on a first date. Even if a bloke didn't want kids I think he would be running out the door thinking I'm already picking out the wedding dress!

System

stebiz wrote: »

He said he wants a 'suitable partner'. I think it's reasonable to expect on a first date to find out a bit about them. Do they like kids, want kids, hate kids, like career, like holidays, been married before.

I think I'd have run for the hills if any of my dates had grilled me on that kind of thing :eek:

lostinrates

NWOIHTS wrote: »

Well basically someone who is easy-going, comfortable in their own skin, likes finer things in life, and likes to get out and about and see new places and try new things. Defo no drama queens or self-important attitude types!

If it helps I can tell you this says very little to me about the person you are looking for. Its.....a string of cliches

I'm not easy going, so I'm not your type, but I know some of easier going friends don't like to be considered ideal because they are easy going....we have talked about it, because its a quality I envy in them.

DCFC79

NWOIHTS wrote: »

I'm on plentyoffish!

I was on that in the past and it was a pile of carp, just need to widen your circle of friends.

Good luck with it. Ill be keeping an eye on the thread.

stebiz

paulineb wrote: »

That may well be some people's idea of a good first date but it might make other people run a mile in the opposite direction.

Hermia wrote: »

Yes, I think that would be disastrous on a first date. I don't want kids and whilst I would certainly let a bloke know early on I wouldn't bring it up on a first date. Even if a bloke didn't want kids I think he would be running out the door thinking I'm already picking out the wedding dress!

I don't mean sitting there with a list.:)

It's not hard to find out if somebody likes their job, likes kids or prefers to holiday in the UK or back pack to Australia.

Hermia

lostinrates wrote: »

If it helps I can tell you this says very little to me about the person you are looking for. Its.....a string of cliches

I'm not easy going, so I'm not your type, but I know some of easier going friends don't like to be considered ideal because they are easy going....we have talked about it, because its a quality I envy in them.

I agree completely with it being a lot of cliches. I am not even sure what easy-going means actually. Some people use it to mean people who are not drama llamas, but then I have also seen it applied to people who have no ambitions or sit on the fence about everything.

NWOIHTS - when you say the finer things in life what do you mean exactly? If you mean cultural stuff surely that is a great place to start. You see some gorgeous people on their own in art galleries. If you mean fine dining a dining club might be fun. There are a couple near me and they seem to have a good mix of members.

marleyboy

stebiz wrote: »

He said he wants a 'suitable partner'. I think it's reasonable to expect on a first date to find out a bit about them. Do they like kids, want kids, hate kids, like career, like holidays, been married before.

Hmm, not been on too many second dates I guess

stebiz

marleyboy wrote: »

Hmm, not been on too many second dates I guess

What would you talk about on a first date for a few hours? Music?