I phoned up my boyfriend's ex-gf. She's a therapist and she told me a few things.

tea_lover

paulineb wrote: »

Your relationship sounds like a heap of fun.

A steaming heap of it.

[Deleted User]

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Severe anxiety which he claims I triggered in him when I left him when I was 23 in 2006.

And are you allowing yourself to be pulled in by that guilt trip?

paulineb_2

Who paid for his flight home, as hes so frugal?

Toucan_Pecan

quidsy wrote: »

O.M.G. well that explains everything then.

I'll explain further. When I was 21/22 I spoke to him on the internet

SO, his grievances are:

1) I lied about my name (well, stranger danger and all that)
2) I didn't talk much to him for a year (I was going out with someone else and it felt weird talking to him)
2) Later, I decided he was quite a kind guy, and that I would like to visit him, I didn't tell him I was visiting Spain beforehand.
3) I decided not to stay with him, and instead did my degree

Then I returned to the States for a holiday and met up with him to apologize..... only one thing led to another and blah blah.

He claims I damaged him earlier, he has severe anxiety and loving me meant he !!!!ed up his life.

mjdh1957

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

dear God I am stuck with helping him poo.

Do you have a fetish for this? That's about the only thing I can see that might make being his "bit on the side" worthwhile from your point of view.

paulineb_2

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

I'll explain further. When I was 21/22 I spoke to him on the internet

SO, his grievances are:

1) I lied about my name (well, stranger danger and all that)
2) I didn't talk much to him for a year (I was going out with someone else and it felt weird talking to him)
2) Later, I decided he was quite a kind guy, and that I would like to visit him, I didn't tell him I was visiting Spain beforehand.
3) I decided not to stay with him, and instead did my degree

Then I returned to the States for a holiday and met up with him to apologize..... only one thing led to another and blah blah.

He claims I damaged him earlier, he has severe anxiety and loving me meant he !!!!ed up his life.

Please, just walk the other way. Who on earth wants to be guilt tripped into staying with someone, someone who is sleeping with another woman.

Hes going back in 3 days, let that be the end, drama over.

Toucan_Pecan

shiningfaery wrote: »

a relationship is supposed to be about equality, love and mutual respect. What you have portrayed is a grown boy substituting one mother for another, the fact that he said he was going to go and stay with an ex to recover from this operation and that you are still calling him your OH is paying him alot of credit where imo is not due.

If he was still sleeping with her when he got with you then how could you trust he wouldnt when he was at her house, like you said he uses sex to self medicate so is he going to go without for a few months...I think not so here is what i would do, pack his things and drop them off at the hospital on you next visit, move on and have a happier life without him.

Surely thats the only thing that makes any sense? Unless I am missing something.

The problem is that he's American and his things = a suitcase and I don't know if they will discharge him before he's due to fly home or what. I'm avoiding visiting him because I'm so angry.

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

If you have a door, lock it and do not give him the key.

If it was a glass door, I suggest you get the glazier round and put in some opaque glass.

quidsy

Pack up his stuff, take it to the hospital, hand it to the nurse on duty & leave. Simples.

All the other guff you have written is HIS reasons, what are YOURS apart from getting off on the drama.?

Toucan_Pecan

Another thing... will he have to pay for NHS treatment... he got appendicitis whilst here....?