I phoned up my boyfriend's ex-gf. She's a therapist and she told me a few things.

[Deleted User]

what does sex self-medicate himself for?

Ditch the looser

Toucan_Pecan

tea_lover wrote: »

On the tiny, tiny off-chance that this isn't a wind-up you need to realise that she's not his ex, you're his bit on the side. Have some self-respect and leave him to it.

She claims they aren't together. He whines, "she is my friend" and dear God I am stuck with helping him poo.

quidsy

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

We dated when I was 23 then I moved back to the UK to do a degree... he never forgave me for pursuing my education over choosing to marry him and claimed I owed him a month after I visited the States.

O.M.G. well that explains everything then.

Toucan_Pecan

ringo_24601 wrote: »

what does sex self-medicate himself for?

Ditch the looser

Severe anxiety which he claims I triggered in him when I left him when I was 23 in 2006.

19lottie82

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

he never forgave me for pursuing my education over choosing to marry him

he doesn't sound too fussed to be honest!

seriously you sound like you take in whatever he tells you. get a bit of self respect and find someone better.

paulineb_2

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

She claims they aren't together. He whines, "she is my friend" and dear God I am stuck with helping him poo.

No you arent. Hes in a hospital, they have nurses, their job, not your job, you could walk away.

If you cant, then Im sorry, you deserve all you get if you stick with this person.

paulineb_2

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Severe anxiety which he claims I triggered in him when I left him when I was 23 in 2006.

Your relationship sounds like a heap of fun.

19lottie82

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

She claims they aren't together. He whines, "she is my friend"

even if this is true, if he loved you he would show you a bit of respect by not going to stay with an ex (who he has cheated on you with before). get a grip.

can see how this thread will go already. everyone will tell you to ditch him, you will stand up for him, and that's it.

shiningfaery

a relationship is supposed to be about equality, love and mutual respect. What you have portrayed is a grown boy substituting one mother for another, the fact that he said he was going to go and stay with an ex to recover from this operation and that you are still calling him your OH is paying him alot of credit where imo is not due.

If he was still sleeping with her when he got with you then how could you trust he wouldnt when he was at her house, like you said he uses sex to self medicate so is he going to go without for a few months...I think not so here is what i would do, pack his things and drop them off at the hospital on you next visit, move on and have a happier life without him.

Surely thats the only thing that makes any sense? Unless I am missing something.

sulkisu

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

We dated when I was 23 then I moved back to the UK to do a degree... he never forgave me for pursuing my education over choosing to marry him and claimed I owed him a month after I visited the States.

That doesn't answer the 'why don't you just leave him' question.
Stay (and stop moaning) or leave (and stop moaning). You are not married, you have no children and you can see what a waste of space he is. Not a difficult decision IMHO, unless you are one of the seemingly growing band of women who enjoy a dramatic love life.


ETA - just realised that you are now in your 30's! Time to grow up perhaps.