Hubby's family think I'm nuts!

cte1111

You need to talk to your husband, that's surely more important than what his family think of you? Perhaps he thought he was being friendly and trying to make his foster sister feel part of the family. From your account, it sounds inappropriate but his account might well be different.

FWIW I would be very surprised if a young female relative went to follow my husband into the bathroom. Or any relative really. My kids wander in and out of the bathroom when we are in the bath, but I wouldn't be comfortable with, for example, my niece doing so.

paulineb_2

Elaine434 wrote: »

3 kids no job and ill health make that very difficult. He told me when we got home that if I wanted to go I could but I'm not taking the kids, I have nowhere to go a dc retained would never leave my 3 small children

He cant dictate to you whether your children stay or go.

This isnt a healthy relationship you have and I am sure you know it.

Its a long time till your kids grow up, stay and you'll be stuck with him and his behaviour.

venetianlagoon

Op, that does sound worrying. I don't think you are over reacting but maybe your reaction has stopped it going further. It sounds as if there is a mutual attraction, and your husband is flattered. You are not the one in the wrong here.

Heffi1

Elaine434 wrote: »

I'm always made to feel its all in my head

Time you two had a serious chat, if he is deflecting blame onto you all the time (or it feels like he is) then there is something wrong.

Can he not see that to approach a 15 year old is crossing a line.

time to re-evaluate your relationship and look at your self-esteem, it sounds like he is used to grinding you down so you don't notice or complain when his behaviour is off

Elaine434

Mojisola wrote: »

It's not in your head but you may be a bit mad to have put up with this behaviour long enough to have had three kids with him.

Triplets! We have been together 5 years and since the babies were born he has changed dramatically.

paulineb_2

Elaine434 wrote: »

I feel that, she smokes she's out at all hours. If she were my daughter I would have words but I'm made to feel like some sort of mental woman.

Well, social services might be interested to know what kind of a life shes having in her foster placement. This isnt just about you and whether your in laws think you are nuts, theres a 15 year old girl involved in this situation as well.

sassyblue

Elaine434 wrote: »

3 kids no job and ill health make that very difficult. He told me when we got home that if I wanted to go I could but I'm not taking the kids, I have nowhere to go a dc retained would never leave my 3 small children

He's a charmer, if you were to split the one leaving home should be him. He can tell you what he wants you don't have to believe him, you can take your children!

How old and what sexes are your children, has he ever acted like this before around underage girls?

Your husbands reaction was totally OTT.

Elaine434

cte1111 wrote: »

You need to talk to your husband, that's surely more important than what his family think of you? Perhaps he thought he was being friendly and trying to make his foster sister feel part of the family. From your account, it sounds inappropriate but his account might well be different.

FWIW I would be very surprised if a young female relative went to follow my husband into the bathroom. Or any relative really. My kids wander in and out of the bathroom when we are in the bath, but I wouldn't be comfortable with, for example, my niece doing so.

This was my point, I asked her what she was doing, she said I need to ask steve for a ciggie. I said he is in the shower and she said I know.
He said I was reading more into it but the previous night she had followed him to the loo twice?

Elaine434

paulineb wrote: »

Well, social services might be interested to know what kind of a life shes having in her foster placement. This isnt just about you and whether your in laws think you are nuts, theres a 15 year old girl involved in this situation as well.

Well according to his parents she turns 16 next week and then she can do as she pleases, she's a handful, but I want to make it clear I in no way blame her for this situation. I see her as a vulnerable child.

Elaine434

sassyblue wrote: »

He's a charmer, if you were to split the one leaving home should be him. He can tell you what he wants you don't have to believe him, you can take your children!

How old and what sexes are your children, has he ever acted like this before around underage girls?

Your husbands reaction was totally OTT.

His previous gf was 16 when he was 25, I found that out at new year too, she moved in with him at his parents! Tbh I'm wondering what I have gotten myself into. It's a mess