I hate going on holiday - OH conflict. HELP

aileth

If you both ride and he wants a two week break, why not travel to Spain, Andalucia for example, or even a ranch in the US, and have a riding holiday, then you get the best of both worlds, he gets his longer break and you get horsey time, which I bet will make things much more bearable.

jackomdj

I see you have replied and are feeling more positive. But this had hit a nerve as we have this in my family. My Dad is now retired and my Mum has not worked for 45 years, but she never wants to go away. As children we only ever went to visit family as holidays and since my Sister and I moved out they go away for a few days in the UK, staying in travel lodges. My Dad hates the fact they don't go, but he can't/won't force her. He has gone on holiday with us to visit his relatives in SA. Last year he went with my Mums sister to visit another of her sisters in America. But whenever he goes he gets moaned at for months before and after, also he has to tell her every little detail.

My sister is becoming similar. She does not work, her hubby works hard often 6 days a week, but she refuses to fly she has started using the needing new passport excuse!

Please, as another poster said, do this for your OH, do it willingly. If you resent this he will end up resenting your likes.

Good luck.

aileth

jackomdj wrote: »

I see you have replied and are feeling more positive. But this had hit a nerve as we have this in my family. My Dad is now retired and my Mum has not worked for 45 years, but she never wants to go away. As children we only ever went to visit family as holidays and since my Sister and I moved out they go away for a few days in the UK, staying in travel lodges. My Dad hates the fact they don't go, but he can't/won't force her. He has gone on holiday with us to visit his relatives in SA. Last year he went with my Mums sister to visit another of her sisters in America. But whenever he goes he gets moaned at for months before and after, also he has to tell her every little detail.

My sister is becoming similar. She does not work, her hubby works hard often 6 days a week, but she refuses to fly she has started using the needing new passport excuse!

Please, as another poster said, do this for your OH, do it willingly. If you resent this he will end up resenting your likes.

Good luck.

Similar story with my grandparents. My grandmother was desperate to travel and explore the world, grandad refused point blank, and in the end I don't think they ever went abroad. Just before she passed away she said it was one of her greatest regrets in life and ended up resenting my grandad.

Then after she passed, my grandad all of a sudden started travelling around the world. My mum never really forgave him.

Lara44

10 day cruise perhaps a compromise?

Seriously though holidays should have something to offer for both people. A week cruising and a week riding (or something that includes another of your own interests) might be something you look forward to rather than dread.

Our best holiday was a week in San Sebastian eating (tapas) and then a week in Rioja drinking (wine tasting!).

neon_dannii

aileth wrote: »

Similar story with my grandparents. My grandmother was desperate to travel and explore the world, grandad refused point blank, and in the end I don't think they ever went abroad. Just before she passed away she said it was one of her greatest regrets in life and ended up resenting my grandad.

Then after she passed, my grandad all of a sudden started travelling around the world. My mum never really forgave him.

This makes me feel sad

Hermia

aileth wrote: »

Similar story with my grandparents. My grandmother was desperate to travel and explore the world, grandad refused point blank, and in the end I don't think they ever went abroad. Just before she passed away she said it was one of her greatest regrets in life and ended up resenting my grandad.

Then after she passed, my grandad all of a sudden started travelling around the world. My mum never really forgave him.

Oh, how awful. Travel is the one thing I won't compromise on. If a bloke wouldn't come with me or be happy for me to go on my own there would be no future for the relationship. Yes, travel is expensive, but what wonderful memories it gives you for life.

bagpussbear

Why not compromise on a 10 night holiday - will feel longer for your hubby, and means you get a few days at the end of the fortnight to spend with your horse.

Or as others have suggested, do 2 separate weeks.

Everyone has different likes and views I guess, your hubby wants to travel and you like being at home with your horses, but given that (presumably) you can see your horses most days, then why not just just do the 2 weeks with your hubby and see it as doing something for him, but make sure you do some planning about activies and things to do before you go to help have the best time you can have away?

arbroath_lass

aileth wrote: »

Similar story with my grandparents. My grandmother was desperate to travel and explore the world, grandad refused point blank, and in the end I don't think they ever went abroad. Just before she passed away she said it was one of her greatest regrets in life and ended up resenting my grandad.

Then after she passed, my grandad all of a sudden started travelling around the world. My mum never really forgave him.

In contrast, my grandparents were the same except my grandmother went on holiday with friends instead, leaving grandfather at home. It didn't seem to do them any harm.

celyn90

Could you not find a holiday with elements you'd both enjoy? Like a cruise with stop over in a place where you could ride or trek for a bit?
What you present is very "all or nothing"

I don't think you are being unreasonable, you are being asked to spend your downtime doing something you don't think you'd enjoy - but there must be middle ground somewhere

I also don't think that having a horse is a trade off for doing this sort of thing. I don't expect my OH to come to karate with me, it's my hobby, not his, and I don't inflict it on him.

I think compromise is the key here - if you do something together, it needs to be together, not one person making the decision. I certainly don't think you should feel forced to go.

lovinituk

antw23uk wrote: »

Hi All

Im not sure what I want to get out of this post but I can't seem to think straight so some fresh views would help hopefully

I don't particulary like going on holidays and a week is generally my max before I get home sick. I like them when i go and we have amazing beautiful holidays in private villas, plush hotels etc and this year thinking a cruise ... The thing is the cruise my OH wants to go on is two weeks long ... The thought of it fills me with dread. I just dont particulary want to go on holiday let alone two weeks away!

I know it probably sounds selfish as the large bulk of the holiday is paid for by the OH but I love being at home, I have my horse and my two cats, I like to potter in the garden etc

Am I being unreasonable and acting spoilt by not being grateful? My OH has always loved holidays and going away and to a certain extent I like it but the older I get (35) the less and less I want to go away and leave home and my passion which is my horse (OH doesnt share this passion and didnt have a horse 8 years ago when we met)

Any help, advise or kick up the backside much appreciated. Thanks

I hate holidays too. Tell your other half he can go on holiday with my wife and I'll spend a week in the UK with you