Teens and sex in the house

ilikewatch

Mojisola wrote: »

Who could wake up in the morning to find their computers, TV and other stuff is missing along with the car which has been driven off using the keys found in the house.

I'm sure that we'll never agree, but I firmly believe that the risks are completely different.

A teenage lad who is brought back to your house, by your teenage daughter for a one night stand is almost certainly thinking about the following, in this order:

Having sex with your daughter
Getting out ASAP without encountering you
Bragging to his mates about it

I think it is beyond unlikely that someone brought home in this situation is likely to steal your car, kill your other children, rape your dog etc.

jellyhead

ilikewatch wrote: »

Anecdotally, it seems to me that teens who are into more alternative culture tend to value "proper relationships" more, whereas those who are more mainstream/townie appear to be more promiscuous.*

*This is partly based on the observations of a friends teenage son, who told me over Christmas that although he hates the music and the prices he has started going to our local "Ritzy" instead of the local alternative club because it's guaranteed that he'll pull.

Yes, anecdotally I'd say the same, but I didn't know how to word it without sounding like I was stereotyping 'chavs'.

Also there's a big difference between the 17 year olds I'm talking about, and 19 year olds like OP's. My son doesn't go to nightclubs yet. At 19 many are away at uni, going to clubs, etc. and my own sex life at 19 was rather different to age 17.

zabi89

It's your house, you don't have to put up with it. Tell her this, she has to respect you and the people in your home, I sure as hell wouldn't want my daughter (If I had one) bringing people home after a night out who I haven't met before! Hope you sort this out!

pambler

When my son was sixteen, he asked if his girlfriend (of almost two years at that point) could stay over. After some deliberation, I agreed, but only after I had talked to her father to ensure he realised they would be staying in the same room. I decided to take the opportunity to give him the 'safe sex' talk - he was absolutely appalled! "Do you seriously think we will be having sex when you are in the bedroom next to us" They are still together three years later, and I am sure that sex happens, but they are certainly very discreet about it.

I would not, however, be happy to have a casual partner staying over, and to be fair I don't think he would even ask.

chipsdog

My 23 year old son kept asking to bring a girl home, I was the only parent in the world who would not allow a stranger to stay overnight. I told him you bring someone home and I will come into your bedroom and kick her out, he has never tried it, probably too frightened to see if I would carry my threat out.

Person_one

pambler wrote: »

When my son was sixteen, he asked if his girlfriend (of almost two years at that point) could stay over. After some deliberation, I agreed, but only after I had talked to her father to ensure he realised they would be staying in the same room. I decided to take the opportunity to give him the 'safe sex' talk - he was absolutely appalled! "Do you seriously think we will be having sex when you are in the bedroom next to us" They are still together three years later, and I am sure that sex happens, but they are certainly very discreet about it.

I would not, however, be happy to have a casual partner staying over, and to be fair I don't think he would even ask.

You waited until he was 16 to gave the safe sex talk? :eek:

Indie_Kid

Person_one wrote: »

You waited until he was 16 to gave the safe sex talk? :eek:

I had one from my parents last year. I'm nearly 25.:o

Morglin

glitter_fairy wrote: »

I was expecting this issue yet as until a year ago i only had pre teen children. We found out my husband had an older child, she is now 19 and is living with us. She has been for over 6 months. She now haas a job, is talking to her mum again, who is also been off drugs for 6 months.

Until a few months ago she had a long term boyfriend and stayed at his a fair amount and sometimes he stayed over. Recently she has had a few flings and has brought one or two back to ours after nights out. This I am not OK with. there are two other children living here and I feel its a bad influance.

I also do not want random people coming into our home that we do not know while the rest of us are in bed.

I know she is taking precortions and I have spoken to her about safe sex and she is very well informed.

The problem is she cant see why we mind. She grew up with her mum doing this and having random men in and out.

We are finding this hard, on one hand she is an adult and we cant control eveything she does, but this isnt just her home.

She thinks we are being unreasonable and old fashioned.

I will admit I am out of my depth I wasnt expecting to deal with this for a good few years yet.

Steady boyfriends are one thing, but I wouldn't have one night stands staying over, simply for security.:eek:

Your house - your rules.

Things are very different now to my teenage years - my grandsons seem to going through girlfriends like water, and all you can do is advise them about safe sex.

Lin

System

I still haven't had the safe sex talk and I'm 27

I think my mum once tried to initiate it it around age 16 but I told her "I know far more than you're going to tell me anyway, and yes I'm using contraception" I think she was secretly relieved she didn't have to give me it